#dereal

stpd and school is so debilitating and sure the social aspect sucks bc its hard to meet ppl and bullying bc of how odd were percieved as- but it goes way beyond the social problems. i cant do the actual schoolwork half the time bc i believe anything taught to us is some sort of propaganda manipulation scheme intent on making us like everyone else and a perfect little follower and its mandated and built into the social structure and i refuse to give into it, i refuse to fall for it, i refuse to be tricked. rverything they coukd try to teach me i would find something in it that reinforces that belief and even if i rationally try to admit that that isnt what’s going on it still makes me panic and stop me from being able to do it wo breaking down or flipping out.