#depressionyay

i've started realized lately(which i 'realize' on and off every few years) that i'm really removed from other people. it's like i'm floating in a pond and other people are on boats going places. do you know how weird it is to realize that you don't have any goals? like really? i did, when i was losing all that weight and i felt better than i had i literally years and years but that feels foreign now and i simply cannot put myself in the headspace to understand how i kept it up and got hot. i've packed almost all of it back on and i really want to be that size again, feel that way, if for no other reason that i'm going to be a bridesmaid in a few months....and to feel healthier.