#deppressing shit

Thanks for reading my blog. I hope you find what you're looking for here :)

For now.......i need to keep calm for not being capable of not finish My draws🙃🙃🙃

God fucking damnit why is everything so exhausting. Literally nothing is worth the effort

I’ve been feeling depressed more and more lately. Been having trouble enjoying games I get, favorite foods. Anything. Even talking and hanging out with friends isn’t helping anymore. I’ve been struggling with depression for over 8 years I think and it hasn’t gotten any easier. My mind keeps going back to every fuck up, to everytime I felt bad or messed up something good. Funny thing how the mind does that. It focuses on the bad so it can be avoided but I’m so messed up that I have a hard time retaining happy feelings and memories. I want to be happy, stable and normal. I’m tired of randomly feeling like this useless waste. I hate going to my friends about this cuz I know they have their own issues. And I don’t wanna bother them. I should be able to power through this with my own power but I can’t take it anymore. At times I just wanna smack my head against something so that my brain will shut up and let me rest in peace. I had a therapist for a couple of months who was helping but last time I saw them was in August. I don’t even feel sad or anything like that anymore. Just hate and disgust at myself at how much of a pathetic shit I am. Even now I feel terrible for bothering you guys about this. I don’t even know why I bother posting this. It’ll just ruin someone’s day or make people worry about me which I don’t want you guys to. I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to get better but things just keep feeling worse and worse everyday.