#deploymentadvice

Today wasn’t a great day. I had to fight away tears at work. All I could think about was how distant Sean is becoming. It’s like he’s just throwing in the towel until he leaves. I don’t know what to do to make things better. He’s struggling to enjoy the holiday season. To make matters worse, he had training moved up to take up the first half of December. It took me breaking down in the car for him to take the time to help me set up the Christmas tree. It doesn’t feel fair that I have to spend the next Christmas alone. Then he wants to just be here but not really here for this Christmas? I don’t know how to make him present in the moment. Or how to keep him from thinking life has stopped. This isn’t his first deployment, but it seems to be hitting pretty hard.

I do know one thing.. I’d rather be miserable for the next year and a half during this pre-deployment and deployment than to be without him.