#deoxytalk

I need some kind of implant that shocks me every time I pick up a book advertised as having "lyrical writing" or "lush prose" until I learn my lesson

our top feline minds have joined in a historic global collaboration searching for the exact combination of meows, headbutts, and bites that will convince their owners to feed them 15 minutes earlier. my cat is leading the team testing the "dart out in front of their feet" hypothesis. results are mixed

well it finally happened: I sat on my knitting needles by accident and skewered myself like a shish kabob

I mention that I'm sad because my best friend moved away and people ask where she moved to, and I tell them it's a city 45 min away and they're like "Heidi that's not that far." but what they don't understand is that I don't have a car so she may as well have moved to the moon

god's giving his toughest battle (spending a week in my home town) to his strongest soldier (me)