how your muse responds to anger.
back when he still went by âinuyashaâ? way, way before he met kagome & the others?
he DID NOT know any other emotion aside ANGER. aside sheer rage at the world, rage towards himself. this building, intense feeling of wanting to enact vengeance. he hated EVERYONE: humans and demons alike. he often got into fights, brutal ones, because he was very easily slighted. his pride was at an all time high, and woe were the ones that insulted him, or what he considered an insult because that bar was very low indeed.
this anger built and built and built inside him. with no true outlet other than lashing at the world, at others. at himself, with how he pushed beyond his mental capabilities. though, he never transformed. because anger was his default, because he never let himself feel another way, he had nothing for that anger to clash against, nothing for that demonic blood to feel enticed by.
it wasnât until after he grew in age, and met kikyou, and then kagome & the others, that he started to let that anger bottle up inside him with no outlet. sure heâd snap at people or be harsh or rude, but it was nowhere near the level it used to be when he was by himself. it was thanks to this that his demonic blood began to run rampant. if angered too deeply or going through too much emotion all at once, he would overcome with demonic blood and lose sense of himself.
though never truly. he was aware of his actions; it wasnât like some other entity took over: it was still him. his reasoning and rationale, that heart of him, just took a backseat. took a backseat to that overwhelming need of violence, of suffering, of brutality and rage. though, the more this happened, the more he would âlose timeâ: heâd âblack outâ and not remember anything until the events all bowled into him afterwards.
the one time he did lose true control, and slaughtered kagome and his friends, he resolved to never lose himself again. to ALWAYS be in CONTROL. so, he began to work closely with his own demonic blood. his own emotions and mentalities. which started him on the path towards âmasteryâ of his demonic side, a more neutral balance between his humanity and that demonic mindset.