Runaway
We all know how easily Hui shifts from pure and innocent to teasing and seductive. The story was inspired by his duality.
Pairing: Hui x OC/reader
Genre: hot, romance, angst
Word count: 3,603
„Please let me go with you. I can’t stay home any longer.” Hui begged like a 5 year-old-kid would do in front of the game store only days before Christmas to make their parents buy the most expensive game as a present from Santa.
“You’ll be so bored.”
“Come on. That was really weak.”
He was right. I knew he loved shopping. It was his ‘me time’ relaxation or whatever you want to call it. He was obsessed. But this time I was determined to go by myself.
“Why don’t you ask Hongseok to have some time together?”
“He is busy with acting.”
“But I thought the shooting was over.”
“Yeah… but the romance is not. “
“I see.”
“Please. You know exactly how much I like shopping.”
“Right. I know. Look, this is something personal and I don’t want you to come with me this time. I am sorry. I just didn’t know how to tell you. “
“I thought we were best friends. What can be so personal about shopping? It’s not like my birthday is around the corner. Are you mad at me?”
He wasn’t the type to let go things easily. Especially when he wasn’t convinced. And let’s be honest my explanation wasn’t really satisfactory.
“No Hui. Look I just want to go alone this time. We always go together, and I guess I just prefer going alone.”
“You really are mad at me. You hate shopping alone. Everytime you go by yourself you are sending me pictures which one to choose and ask my opinion … well, literally about everything. Okay, so what’s wrong?”
“I am fed up being alone on Valentines Day each and every year so I decided to buy a bottle of wine, some candles, and sexy lingerie and celebrate my singleness home alone. While probably crying. Happy now?”
I kind of shouted the last sentence. It wasn’t his fault entirely. I should have just told him in advance. Hiding and creating a greater mess wasn’t a good idea. But he really made me angry. Why can’t I go alone? Why are we always together? Well, most importantly why are we always together when we are not even together. I think it was the biggest issue. He wasn’t just my best friend. They say love can hurt. It did.
And it hurt the most when he was understanding and nice. He didn’t get hurt and pissed by my behavior. He just pulled me close for a hug and said “you should have told me”. When he was considerate and empathizing, I hated him the most and I suffered the greatest.
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The main problem was I could never say no to him. I was an easy target and his puppy eyes always worked on me. With my head I knew in the very beginning that becoming his best friend will be painful, but my heart couldn’t stop me. It was hoping for something and made me do things and make decisions which I shouldn’t have done or made.
Agreeing to go shopping lingerie with him was also one of these mistakes. I knew this in the very first second when we entered the shop.
“Hello, how can I help you?” A very friendly middle-aged lady, most likely the owner of the shop asked.
“We are looking for some very nice and naughty lingerie for her.” Hui said like he has just ordered his usual Espresso at his favorite café.
“Naughty? What are you…? Uhm… I am sorry he is just joking. Unfortunately, he really has a bad sense of humor.”
“Have you known each other for a long time?” The lady asked.
“Maybe way longer than preferable.” I said while smiling at my sweet revenge.
“That was harsh.” Hui said while pretending to be hurt by my answer.
“You are sweet. I wish you happiness. It is quite rare to find loving and cute couples like you.”
“She is not my girlfriend.” Hui said instantly. I guess if he has been accused with murderer even then he wouldn’t defense himself so quickly. It kinda hurt. He really doesn’t see me as a girl at all?
“Oh I see. Well, in that case you will not be able to see her in our beautiful unique fabrics. They say even if you are not together if you look at someone in these you will fall in love with the person wearing them immediately.”
“I see.” He answered with a forced smile. I knew he felt awkward and also he was sceptic enough not to believe in such stories. Me on the other hand really liked how the lady was trying to comfort me. I really needed comfort.
“Well, I am sorry but seemingly we are looking for something aesthetic for the future boyfriend and not you. Can you please just wait here in that case? Young lady please follow me. Is there any preference of color you would like to try on?”
“I was thinking about something braver like black and red maybe with a little lace.”
“I am sorry but that’s so not you.’ Hui said.
“I am sorry but I told you I wanted to come alone. This nice lady told you to wait here. And I am also telling you this is for me. I want to feel pretty and attractive once in a while. Since you are here can you be just a bit more supportive please?”
And since he didn’t say anything we were leaving to search for some nice pieces. I am not sure it was just my hallucination created by my hopes which betrayed me throughout all these years or he said it for real, but I heard him murmuring “you don’t need those stupid clothes for that”. I knew it wasn’t real, but I could die to hear this.
I knew he shouldn’t have come with me. It was a bad idea. Hiding my feelings all these years was also a bad idea. But I was scared of losing him. Even if it hurt so bad, being his best friend was still better than not knowing him at all.
I lost my interest in the sexy and beautiful bras and panties. What am I trying to prove? Am I hoping that the fairy tale of the shop owner is real? That Hui just needs to see me in these and it will solve everything? Of course not. The red lace on my skin was really attractive. I knew I looked great. Not like a model or something but definitely a sexier and much more confident version of myself. But somehow it felt cold to stand like this in the changing room. I felt naked. Is this really about me? No one will see it then what for?
I made a last glance on my reflection in the mirror. I sighed. Idiots. They don’t know what they are missing. He doesn’t know what he is missing. And in that very second with a sudden move the curtain of the changing room was pulled away and Hui was standing in the changing room with me. I wanted to tell him immediately to get out but like he knew how I was going to react he put his hand on my mouth not to make any noise.
I was looking at him questioningly, angry and worried at the same time. And deep inside I was also dying from frustration too. Is he really in the freaking changing room with me, pushing me to one of the mirrors, not letting me speak while I am not wearing anything else just the red lace lingerie which hardly covered anything. I was trying to escape from his hold when he finally realized what he has done.
“Oh sorry, I just got panicked. She is here.”
“I don’t know who are you talking about but I do hope you realize I am standing here with almost no clothes on so I would be really grateful if you could leave. Hmm let me see. What about immediately?”
And with that I wanted to push him out of the changing room. But he insisted. And on top of that he was checking me out. Like what?
“I was wrong. Red suits you.” He said casually.
“Bye Hui.” And I tried to cover my face not to show him not only the lingerie but my face was very red too.
“Please. I’ll close my eyes if that makes you feel better but she is here with his boyfriend and I just cannot meet them right now.”
“And the reason why is...?” And I was really expecting a real answer because otherwise I was really getting angry at him.
“She is my ex-girlfriend.”
“And?”
“Oh please, let this one slip okay? I know I was wrong. I shouldn’t have forced today and hiding in this changing room is completely disrespectful and also very ridiculous but please. I am not ready to meet her alongside her boyfriend.”
And again the same old thing happened. He asked something, I looked at his puppy eyes and couldn’t say no. I truly hated this.
“Turn around and close your eyes. You can stay for 5 mins but after that we are going home and I don’t care whether she is still here or not okay?”
“Oh my god thank you.”
And just like he used to he hugged me. He always did this. If he thanked me he hugged me as well. And I always had to be sure to slowly push him away after sometime, because being hugged by him felt way too good and getting used to it was way too dangerous. He was dangerous to be around. His smile, laugh, presence was my everything. He was easy to get obsessed with. He was the best medicine for all my pain. Even if the greatest pain was caused by him.
Standing there and hugging him like this was cruel. There was so much going on in my head.
“Sorry, I am turning around. You should get dressed. You will catch a cold.”
He even closed his eyes as I asked. And I was just starring at his back speechlessly. I wanted to hug him and kiss him endlessly. Waiting, hiding and pretending has come to an end. I couldn’t bare it alone anymore. Even rejection would have been better at this point. Well what happened moments later must have counted as a rejection. But at least as a friendzone. The friendzone which would never change.
------
“What?” He asked quite shocked.
“I know it is quite sudden, but my contract has not been renewed. And I felt like I needed some changes.”
“But moving to the other end of the city? It is very far from your workplace.”
“There is home office.”
“But I guess not all the time.”
“3 times per a week.”
“What about the remaining 2 days?”
“Hui calm down. It is not like I will die from waking up a bit earlier.”
“But why do you have to move? You can stay at my place until we find something for you in the neighborhood.”
“NO.”
“What’s with this sudden reaction? Why not?”
“No. It is just… no. That will not happen.” I knew I did a mistake again. I should have given a better explanation because otherwise he will keep on asking me why. But I couldn’t lie to him. He was more precious than that. But telling him the truth… I wasn’t ready. I thought handling this whole thing on my own was for the better.
“Look. I am sorry about that day, okay? I shouldn’t have acted that way.”
“Oh come on. You needed an alibi girl. She is your ex and I was there. I am glad I could help you out a bit.”
“But then … isn’t this about me?”
“Oh Hui? Why would it be? I have to move so I am moving. That is all”
Well… first lie. Nice. It was easier than I thought. It wasn’t completely wrong though. I really had to move. But also, I didn’t want to be around him.
On that day we were still in the changing room when his ex-girlfriend started to call him. And since she insisted she saw Hui there she was waiting for us to leave the changing room. So, Hui met her again. And I guess his pride came in the way when he saw the new boyfriend appearing on the scene. So, after some seconds I became his girlfriend. Okay fine, after we stepped out of the same changing room I have to admit he didn’t really have any other choice. Telling the ex that he is just a scaredy-cat and he is just hiding in women’s changing room must not have created the image he wanted to show after meeting for the first time since break up.
But it was somehow funny, how he tried to convince her that I am his new partner when just minutes ago he was so much protesting against the idea. It pissed me off.
We were best friends and I knew it was hard for him to move on. But providing him the shoulder to cry on, being the alibi girlfriend and many more other things were getting out of hand. It was emotionally exhausting. And even if I was selfish for staying next to him all these years, I knew I had to stop. So, I decided to move and have sometime alone to figure it out.
“So just the move. Is this the reason why you haven’t answered my messages since then?”
I always forgot how well he knew me. I couldn’t lie to him, and even if I tried I always got caught.
“What else would it be?”
“Well that is exactly what I am asking. Seemingly you would like to cut ties with me I just don’t know why.”
“Oh Hui. It’s not-“
“Do you really think I am that stupid? You better tell me what is going on because I am getting offended and hurt for real. What is wrong? Did I hurt you? Is it your family? Can I help somehow? We can figure this out together just please tell me. Otherwise I cannot help.”
“You can’t help Hui. This is not something you can help with. Especially not you.”
“Okay, I am done. What is going on? I won’t let you go anywhere until you tell me.”
“This is not something you want to hear.”
“Well with this you just made me even more curious. I am all ears.”
And then I knew it was time. I had to confess. Not because of him. He was clueless and I was sure my words wouldn’t change anything between us. Obviously, we couldn’t remain friends. But that was a given. I had to tell because of myself. I was handling this all alone in the past 4 years. I was tired. So tired. I wanted to move on.
“You still don’t get it right?”
“We always spend our days together why is it such a big deal to live here until you find an apartment closer to your workplace?”
“You really don’t understand. Fine. You wanted to know. I can’t live here, because I want to live here so badly. Do you get it now?”
“What? This doesn’t make any sense.”
“I hope you just trying to pretend you didn’t know to make me feel better.”
“Pretend? What?”
I took a deep breath and started my confession. I knew he will be shocked and he will be right to feel betrayed and disappointed. We were so close. If I told him how I felt at the very beginning we might have figured out a way to solve it together. I mean I guess this is what other male-female friends do. It is normal that sometimes you feel more, right? But I never felt less than love.
“Oh Hui.” And here I stopped. I could not tell him face to face. I closed my eyes and continued. “Do you think it would be normal to live together with someone who is continuously on your mind? Would it be okay to live here with you, when I have dreams about you? When I find myself imagining how it would feel to hold hands while walking. When I spend hours of daydreaming how would it feel to be your girlfriend? Is it really okay to secretly stare at your lips and imagine how you would leave soft kisses on my neck?” Here I stopped for a second. My tears started to flow. Just the thought of us being so intimate and close was painfully beautiful. “Would it be okay to be hugged by you for so long I even lose my sense of time?”
I couldn’t open my eyes. I didn’t want to see how he looked at me. He must have been shocked. I was his closest friend, and he could tell me everything as a friend. And I betrayed his trust. He might have thought I am only being around him in order to confess and become his girlfriend. But that wasn’t the case. And before leaving there were some things left to say. Those unspoken words that were must to tell.
“I am so sorry, I didn’t want to shock you like this. I knew this is very sudden and I don’t expect anything. It is my fault that I never talked about this. I became obsessed with you. I thought it will change. And also, your friendship was more precious to me. I didn’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose you Hui. So if there is a tiny bit chance of you forgiving me please give me some time. I will move to the new place. I will empty my mind. Maybe the distance will solve it. Once I am back we might be as good friends as ever.”
“That will definitely not happen.”
And in that second like I was awaken, I opened my still teary eyes and looked at him. But for my surprise he was only inches away from me. I didn’t even hear him getting closer to me. I was trembling from nervousness and pain, but I knew it would happen. I knew I hurt him with my behavior. If the opposite had happened to me I would have been shocked too. Someone who you have known for years, is your closest friend, you share everything with him states that he has sexy thoughts about you… I wouldn’t know how to handle it. Hui didn’t seem surprised though. Indifference was written all over his face. It wasn’t necessary to ask, because it was obvious but I had to do it.
“Why?”
“Because you are not going anywhere.”
And with that sentence I fell asleep and my most wanted dream has begun. Those beautiful soft lips I have always starred at were finally on mine, his arms wrapped around me and I was sinking deeper and deeper. His soft hair between my fingers and his closeness made me forget everything for a second. When he left the last kiss, he lifted my head gently to make me look into his eyes. In those beautiful brown eyes there was a complete universe of emotions. Regret, worry, sorry, relief and happiness. So many unspoken words. But somehow, I think I knew how he felt. He slowly stroked my hair and hugged me tightly, while whispering to my ear:
“I am sorry to made you lonely all this time. If only I have known. I always thought you were distant with me because you wanted to make clear this can never be more than friendship.”
“I wanted to keep myself away from you, because I was afraid if I got way too attached you would get hurt. I love you Hui. I love you so much but I was afraid you will feel bad to know how I felt and this feeling will come between us.”
“Don’t you believe in us? How many things have we overcome?”
“You are right. I was just so scared of losing you.”
“You cannot lose me. I am coming after you even if you runaway.”
“Oh my… did I really want this?” I said with finally a smile on my face.
“There is no turning back now. Because I love you too.” And he kissed me again.
There was no turning back. On that night I left my apartment. And I never went back. I only left the keys on the kitchen table. In my new place everything was so cosy and warm. I was surrounded by a lovely atmosphere. And I tried to keep my place clean. There was only one thing on the floor which I didn’t mind to leave there. The red lingerie.
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“Hello! Good to see you again!”
“Hi! We just came by and wanted to say huge thanks for your help.” I said.
“Oh I am glad I could help.”
“Can you also help me out this time?” I asked.
“Of course. Does it mean that the boyfriend liked the previously chosen one?” The lady asked.
“He was very satisfied with it. What you said was true. It is a quality fabric.” Hui answered.
“Wait a second.” But instead of continuing her sentence she just smiled all-knowingly. “I see. Then, what do you think about choosing the next one together? Since you are here as a man your taste with the boyfriend can be very similar. What do you think?” And she winked at Hui.
“I think our opinion will be the exact same.”
