#dementors

Sebastian's Trial.

A commission by @darkravenkissed1. Thank you so much for giving me the honor to draw this heartbreaking scene!!

Honestly, yeah. I really like the headcanon that it is the horcrux's memory and not Harry's. So, I went through all of "Harry's" memories of the night to see if I can find a textual basis for this really fun headcanon I have seen before. Let's start with the ones he experiences when dementors are around:

Harry’s eyes rolled up into his head. He couldn’t see. He was drowning in cold. There was a rushing in his ears as though of water. He was being dragged downward, the roaring growing louder . . . And then, from far away, he heard screaming, terrible, terrified, pleading screams. He wanted to help whoever it was, he tried to move his arms, but couldn’t . . . a thick white fog was swirling around him, inside him —

(PoA)

At least a hundred dementors, their hidden faces pointing up at him, were standing beneath him. It was as though freezing water were rising in his chest, cutting at his insides. And then he heard it again. . . . Someone was screaming, screaming inside his head . . . a woman . . . “Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!” “Stand aside, you silly girl . . . stand aside, now. . . .” “Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead —” Numbing, swirling white mist was filling Harry’s brain. . . . What was he doing? Why was he flying? He needed to help her. . . . She was going to die. . . . She was going to be murdered. . . . He was falling, falling through the icy mist. “Not Harry! Please . . . have mercy . . . have mercy. . . .” A shrill voice was laughing, the woman was screaming, and Harry knew no more.

(PoA)

But the classroom and the dementor were dissolving. . . . Harry was falling again through thick white fog, and his mother’s voice was louder than ever, echoing inside his head — “Not Harry! Not Harry! Please — I’ll do anything —” “Stand aside. Stand aside, girl!”

(PoA)

I want to note a few important matters of this memory:

Harry doesn't see anything, he only hears the voices.

He doesn't see the memory as himself (or as Voldemort, really), he describes himself as floating, like he is an observer of the memory. The description of falling in also sounds incredibly familiar to that of a Pensive — which to me indicates the magic of the Pensive is similar and perhaps related to the magic of dementors.

So while #2 makes it possible it is either of theirs memory (though, stronger indicates for it to be Voldemort's since Harry isn't reexperiencing his own memory this way, which contradicts how dementors are supposed to work), #1 leaves the memory feeling odd. Incomplete. It's just sounds, no visuals, not even a green flash of light that we know Henry does recall from that night:

Sometimes, when he strained his memory during long hours in his cupboard, he came up with a strange vision: a blinding flash of green light and a burning pain on his forehead. This, he supposed, was the crash, though he couldn’t imagine where all the green light came from.

(PS)

So a young Harry always had a vague memory of a flash of green light. His description of straining his memory almost sounds like some sort of accidental magic that pulls forth this vision. Potentially from the Horcrux, but also, possibly, from his own mind.

And when he encounters Voldemort (or, well, is in the presence of him due to Quirrell) he has this fascinating dream

Perhaps Harry had eaten a bit too much, because he had a very strange dream. He was wearing Professor Quirrell’s turban, which kept talking to him, telling him he must transfer to Slytherin at once, because it was his destiny. Harry told the turban he didn’t want to be in Slytherin; it got heavier and heavier; he tried to pull it off but it tightened painfully — and there was Malfoy, laughing at him as he struggled with it — then Malfoy turned into the hook-nosed teacher, Snape, whose laugh became high and cold — there was a burst of green light and Harry woke, sweating and shaking.

(PS)

This is honestly fascinating and I don't think I noticed it before or saw anyone bring it up. But Harry has Quirrell's turban (AKA Voldemort) tell him to change houses to go to Slytherin. That's... that has to be the Horcux,imo. It's just too specific and too on the nose. The other thing is the memory itself of Halloween 1981, again, the same flash of green he mentioned before, but this time, accompanied by a high laughter, a sound. A sound that wasn't there when Harry strained his own memory (even if perhaps magically) in a dream the Horcrux seems to influence to some degree.

Harry wished he could forget what he’d seen in the mirror as easily, but he couldn’t. He started having nightmares. Over and over again he dreamed about his parents disappearing in a flash of green light, while a high voice cackled with laughter.

(PS)

Once he hears the high laughter in one dream, it starts making it's way into other nightmares, but still, notably, the visuals aren't the ones Voldemort or Harry could remember, because his parents didn't disappear into green light, James died downstairs and it was only Lily upstairs who Harry saw die.

All of this suggests to me, that Harry has a vague memory of a flash of green and pain that is his own memory. That's what he recalls when he strains his memory as a child. But it's vague, there are no sounds or sights besides the green light.

Then, all sound elements (Voldemort's laughter, Lily's screams) are from the Horcrux, I believe. The first time Harry heard the laughter and it made it's way into his nightmare was in an odd nightmare where the Horcrux probably was involved to some degree. Then, with the dementors, there is only sound, no visuals like the green light that Harry remembers.

Harry's description "A shrill voice was laughing, the woman was screaming, and Harry knew no more" in the most detailed dementor induced memory is also very similar to how Voldemort describes being hit with the killing curse in DH:

“Avada Kedavra!” And then he broke; He was nothing, nothing but pain and terror.

Hogtober Week 5

Sebastian’s boggart…

He knew, when he will face a boggart, after everything that happened, it could be anything making the guilt inside him swallow him once more. He expected to see the body of his uncle, or even Anne, but what his eyes lied upon, took literally his breath away. Leaving him frozen in utter shock and pain.

Him…

In the dirty clothes of an Azkaban prisoner, pale and bruised…

About to receive the worst fate for a criminal.. the dementor’s kiss…

Dementor

@wolfstarmicrofic February 2, word count 293

Someone new had arrived that afternoon, and the Dementors had gathered outside his cell door. Sirius could hear his screams from here. He felt sorry for him; no one should have to deal with these foul creatures, no matter what their crimes were. The one good thing about the poor souls’ arrival meant that, for the first time in a long while, Sirius felt halfway normal. He leaned against the damp wall, looked through the tiny crack of a window, and scanned the sliver of night sky he could see above. A star shone in the centre of the window; he couldn’t figure out which one, not that it really mattered. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d seen a star. He racked his brain, but came up with nothing.