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Anyways, what am I doing? Well, when the painkillers are working, Iāve been doing a whole lot. Mostly implementing aaaaaaaaaaaall the additional and revised flavor text Iāve written for DelirIAM and making sure all the finicky bits of plugin code is where its supposed to be and I havenāt missed anything. On top of that Iāve been getting the final tilesets in place and making sure everything looks okay, matches up, and the collision boxes all work as expected. Lots of fiddly, technical stuff.
The biggest part, of course, is rewriting. During the initial drafting, I was rushing to get it done in time for a game jam. That didnāt end up happening due to a variety of factors, but it did help it get done at all. In the process of trying to get it done at all, I did end up rushing the writing of two important scenes: the reveal of āwhat happens tomorrowā and the final confrontation. And the intended moth through line was admittedly clumsy. While Iām still not done with the moth stuff, I have revised and expanded the other two major scenes and I think theyāre a lot more emotionally impactful.
MOST importantly, between the initial push and now I have figured out a way to format all my game writing in my word processor so I donāt have to do it directly in engine. āBut Madeline,ā you say to me, āWhy would you write everything directly into RPG Maker and have it all scattered across a multitude of events? Thatās stupid! Thatās madness!ā Yes, yes it is. I am quite good at doing things stupid, hard, and inefficient. Teaching myself how to use RPG Maker and make games at all was a steep learning curve and I wasnāt focusing on what I already knew how to do at the time, so I just wrote directly in the engine as a went. It worked okay, but I discovered itās hard to actually get a sense of your overall writing and pacing when itās scattered throughout hundreds of individual events and broken up by code. And trying to rewrite? To proof read? Hilariously time consuming and an exercise in insanity, honestly. But Iāve learned! By doing it bad, I did it, and by doing it, Iām now better. These are the things Iāve learned over the past couple years, and this is my advice to you: do it bad, do it scared, do it stupid. It might be crap, you might need to redo it all, but having something, anything at all, is worth it.
Anyways, how do I draft scenes and write flavor text in my word processor? Iām so glad you asked, hypothetical reader. The answer is actually quite simple: I use my dramatic writing degree. Well, not the degree itself, my fancy piece of paper that lists my two (2) different writing-based degrees is somewhere in my closet (or maybe itās under my bed?). I donāt know why I didnāt start by scripting stuff out playwright style, to be honest. Dialogue has always been my strength and most of game writing is dialogue or dialogue adjacent, especially in my games. Here is a snippet from Frey Nel:
To save time and space, I only use initials in my scripting ā in this case R is for Rosemary and MS is for Mrs Spider. This is a pretty simple dialogue exchange with no variables or other coding or blocking to notate. Now let me show you some of my flavor text scripting for DelirIAM:
Bedside:
H: The big storybooks go in this room, because Saffronās the baby and gets whatever they want.
H: At least thatās what they think.
H: Really they just always fall asleep during story time so itās more convenient for everyone.
H: The big storybooks go in this room.
Bed:
H: Saffronās bed is really low to the ground because itās a toddler bed.
H: Mommyās gonna turn it into a big kid bed soon I think.
H: Saffronās had that teddy bear since before I met them.
H: Iām glad it was able to be fixed.
Here, I notate what object the flavor text is attached to. You can also see I use indentations to show that what appears changes after the initial interaction with the object/event. The first time Hopper (H) looks at the Bedside he goes into more detail, and if you have him look at it again it will be different and less. I use a similar indentation for the Bed flavor text, but in that particular case which flavor text you get switches between the two every time you interact with it. I donāt have separate formatting for these two similar but different coding scenarios because Iām able to infer what past-Madeline intended based on the context the writing provides. Will this come back to bite me one day? Remains to be seen! Lets look at another example:
N: ā¦!
R: �
[Run]
Thereās nowhere to go.
[Stay]
You stare at the girl. The ghost.
N: You came!
R: Ah!
Brackets my beloved⦠I use brackets to signify choices or things that use the choice interface. That, combined with my trusty indentations shows me where things branch and converge in a scene. Sometimes, thereās a single option for a choice, or what you choose doesnāt matter. I will still put these in brackets so I know what to do when Iām putting it in the engine. Like so:
H: [Why do you want to keep me?]
R: Eh?
H: [Iām too much trouble.]
H: [Iām not worth it.]
R: Nuh uh.
Here I have Hopperās dialogue as single choices for the sake of emotional impact. That, combined with the choices showing up within the textbox is wholesale borrowed from insertdisc5ās game In Stars and Time. Thank you Adrienne for giving me a fun new tool to devastate my players!
Anywho, thatās about all Iāve got to share with you all right now! Have a Hopper Chibi by @grandquest, on the house!
About a month ago, my publisher mentioned I should write dev logs. For publicity, yāknow? I donāt know how to do that. Iām going to try anyways. I tried before, last year (and I think the year before?) ā but I wasnāt very good at it. I was doing it in a weird style, on the blog I made for strange lantern productions, and it just didnāt feel right. I didnāt keep up with it, no one read them, so I just⦠stopped. Now Iām starting again, and I hope someone reads. Iāll post them on my personal Tumblr, and on my Itch, and weāll see where this goes. This oneās going to be extra weird and retrospective-y because this month is a very special anniversary for me: itās the two year anniversary of me becoming a game dev, for real.
I realized I wanted to make games in the spring of 2020, but it wasnāt until 2023 that I felt like I was allowed to call myself a game developer. I was a year out of college, working two jobs, and I played my first RPG maker game. I played the remaster of Ib, and I fell in love with it. Then I played Mad Father, and started watching video essays on the genre, and realized I could use RPG Maker. I could make games all by myself. Iād already been told I should by every industry professional I reached out to for advice after graduation. So I bought RPG Maker MV and went through all its tutorials, and then I realized I should really get RPG Maker MZ. It was a real rocky start, to stay the least. I spent all my disposable income on assets to play around with in the engine, I tried to make sprites of a fankid my friend and I had come up with.
Then I lost my job. Because of government stuff. So, I had a lot of time on my hands. During May and June of 2023 I holed up in my apartment and made a game. It wasnāt very good. I was flying by the seat of my pants, learning what I could do with the engine, how to use plugins, and how to just⦠tell a story in a game. It was a mess. The Lighthouse wasnāt good, by my own standards, but it was mine. Iād made it. And, I could make it better. Over a decade of writing experience had taught me that all first drafts have to do is exist.
To learn more, I entered a week long game jam and made another, shorter game called Terminated. This game was better, if only in an organizational sense. I learned a lot from making it! Now, I donāt think it was very good, but it was yet another first draft to be proud of. It existed, and could be made better. Of course, soon after this victory my life was put on hold.
I got a new job, I moved to a different city and was living alone for the first time in my life. My longterm partner was in Ireland, making the (what I now realize was abusive) relationship long distance. What followed was the toughest year of my adult life. Itās not easy to live alone, hours away from family and friends. The one friend I had in the city was my life line, and I am still so grateful to her. Shout out to you, Hannah. Youāre the realest and Iām so lucky to have you in my life.
During this tumultuous time, I worked on revising The Lighthouse ā now called Frey Nel ā and figuring out what the story I was trying to tell was even about. On top of that, I was working to find a composer and an artist to work with, since my own skills in those artistic categories are⦠not the best. I actually found BibiXP on accident, as I originally commissioned her for some additional sprite work when my original guy disappeared from Etsy for a time. My original sprite guy, Larkison, brought Youfoundnico on board to take over for him. And eventually, I asked my brother Lyon to do the rest of the art ā portraits/busts, CGs, promotional art.
Which brings us to now.
Iām no longer in an abusive relationship, Iām living with my friends, and Iām on the precipice of releasing DelirIAM, a stand alone prequel to Frey Nel and the final form of Terminated. As of now, Iām planning on releasing it on June 30th , but should my brotherās ADHD win itāll be delayed to the 7th of July. After that, itāll be full steam ahead on revamping Frey Nelās demo in time for its crowdfunding campaign in August/September. Thanks for joining me on this journey, hereās to the next two years!