#definingugly

Thank you for taking this journey with me. I’ve been on this journey it feels for a long time and I know it’s no where near the end. 

Let’s jump right into this then. What is Defining Ugly.

To me this is sort of a shout into the void to other people who struggle with the things they believe about themselves and the journey to finding their beauty. Not just within themselves but the beauty that God see’s in us, his creation. 

I hope that who ever stumbles upon this, believer or not will take the time to take this journey with me to finding that self love we all need when we look in the mirror. 

The other night I was looking back on an old journal entry I had made a few years ago talking about the “ugly” version of me. Who is the “ugly” version of me? The ugly version of me, or rather any one of us is the person that hides behind the masks we create. It’s the insecure, unsure, messy, part of us. 

Ugly me is quiet and moody, is often anxious, and doesn’t trust anyone. She takes everything with a grain of salt and can never comprehend any one wanting to invest the time in getting to know her. Ugly me is extremely insecure, she constantly looks for confirmation from the people around her. She hates almost everything about herself, from the tangible to the intangible.

This is where my personal journey started. How does one take the understanding of who they are behind the mask and swap out the fake mask for the real face behind it. To me, at the time, it was a terrifying prospect. How could someone so damaged by her own need to live up to be perfect even begin to attempt to be real and authentic with the people around her. 

I spent hours thinking and processing who I was trying to cover up, and more importantly why. These two questions opened up so many avenues, that at the end helped me conquer my mountain, but only after digging through the trenches of years of lies I had told myself about myself. 

Finding your inner beauty is not always an easy ride. It’s filled with twists and turns, valleys and peaks. But that mountain top moment has and continues to be a moment worth fighting for. 

Talk soon, Love always.