#decliningreligiousfaith

Word on the street suggests that Lindsay Lohan has adopted the Muslim faith.

Evidence includes a photo of her carrying the Quran, her deletion of all of her social media posts and the replacement of that language with an Arabic greeting, and a strange amalgamation of accents that she has adopted for going down the red carpet.

Her business manager or publicist denied that she has become a Muslim, which only fans the flames of rumor even further.

Here’s my take.

The worst thing that could ever happen to a human being is to become a child star.

Kids are just not built for the acclaim, the fame, the money, or the freedom that child stardom entails.

More often than not, they end up going to the dark side.

Think Miley Cyrus, betraying the trust of a generation of young girls by shaving one side of her head and turning herself into a sex symbol (of sorts).

And then there are the child stars who turn to alcoholism and drug addiction because they need something to replace the high that came when life handed them too much, too soon.

I remember watching America’s Got Talent this season and feeling my heart sink when Grace Vanderwaal won the contest.

Whatever her life had been like, now it would be Las Vegas, paparazzi, people

wanting to be her friend because she’s famous, and all the other things that are just perfect for any child.

Now comes Lindsay Lohan, and if I may perform a bit of armchair psychoanalysis, this is a young woman starved for attention.

Don’t I vaguely remember photos of her going commando as she eased out of a car somewhere?

Is there anything about Ms. Lohan that we don’t already know?

So in the endless quest for attention, her options were few.

Famous for motherhood? Sorry, but Angelina Jolie and the Octomom got there first.

Famous for caring about the environment? Sorry—Justin Bieber was driving a Prius back when your license was suspended.

Famous for getting sober?

Sorry. You’re about number ten thousand in the line of Hollywood celebrities who have sworn off booze and drugs.

So in a world where it’s increasingly difficult to cut through the clutter, how can you command the attention of the world?

Spoiler alert: It ain’t with a new tattoo.

You adopt Islam.

There are thousands of books that Lohan could have carried through the streets of London without attracting the curiosity of the social media world.

Ah, but if you carry the Quran, all eyes are on you.

Similarly, there are so many deserving, poor, and suffering children here in the

United States who could benefit from the tender ministrations of a former child star.

But nothing will get your name in the paper like a trip to a Syrian refugee camp.

I have no personal knowledge of Lindsay Lohan, aside from having watched The Parent Trap with my nine-year-old two weeks ago.

I don’t doubt the sincerity of her commitment to her newfound faith, if indeed she has adopted a new religion.

My hunch is that she has married a spiritual search, no doubt prompted by the mixed blessing of too much too soon, with the celebrity sense of self-awareness and self-aggrandizement.

If you’re going to convert to a religion, don’t pick Catholicism or Buddhism and expect to be in the headlines.

To become a Muslim?

Days before Trump’s inauguration? Suddenly, you’re a walking People magazine cover.

The Muslim reaction, at least in social media, to Lohan’s apparent conversion has been positive.

And if it makes her happy or spiritually satisfied, more power to her.

But the Muslims should be wary.

Is she adopting a religion, or co-opting one, so as to get her name back in the headlines?

This may be the most cunning move by a former child star to stay in the limelight, or as she might now say, in’shallah.