Jimmy getting all the selfies 12/21/19
📸: jenniferleechan
tracysandler
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Jimmy getting all the selfies 12/21/19
📸: jenniferleechan
tracysandler

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Happy birthday too me 🏹😔💖
12/21/1999
I did it because I wanted to. I was waiting on you endlessly, hanging on your every word and isolating myself under the guise of maintaining my purity in this relationship. Now, I am doing what I want. I no longer want to be in my home always. I don’t want to be looped in the work-home wormhole. I hate the feeling like all I do is work without truly taking the time to enjoy my free time. I want to live. I still want to experience. The girl you claim to love so much, I want to know her a little more. I allowed it because I wanted it. It happened because I wanted it.
That was what I should’ve said when you asked me “why?” I should’ve told you that I felt stunted by this relationship because I pour so much of my focus into it that I didn’t even know where to begin to focus on me. I don’t appreciate the feeling like my sleep quality hinged on you. I don’t like feeling so much hinges on you and having to face the fact that you’re not here. I don’t enjoy the feeling that my 20s will be summarized as “constantly in a state of lying in wait for a man.”
I’ve grown sick of the frustration of wanting to be railed by a man who live 800 miles away. I’ve grown sick of needing a hug but never being able to obtain it. I’ve grown sick of words. I don’t want to hear “I love you” so fucking often that the words lose meaning. I’ve grown sick of knowing I deserve the hugs, kisses, and love that I’m asking for but only being able to wait for it. I’ve grown sick of the feeling that if I was in distress that I would have to reassure myself. Or save myself. If I was upset, there’d be nobody I could call to whisk me away. I’m sick of only being able to call you when something’s wrong and you can only offer me more words.
I should’ve admitted to you that your words became more meaningless to me every time I rocked myself as I cried. Your words became meaningless the more I had to hug myself. In this relationship, I do so much for myself that I came to the conclusion that I should just be by myself. When I’m faced with the logic of my relationship, I do so feeling as if I’m tying myself to an invisible being. Why? Because you are 800 miles away and living a separate life.
I did it to see the possibilities. To explore how it felt to be able to be hugged when I’m hurting. To have a place to go when I don’t want to be home. To have the opportunity to be whisked away if I’m ever upset. To recieve the gentle loving I deserve without having to ask.
Here was my #snowwitch for #hmyulewitches21 for #dec21st ~ #wintersolstice ❄️🌨️ I I found out about this art challenge at midnight that day, so I'm a bit late! This is my first time using hand made gold and pearl metallic watercolor paints I bought from an Etsy artist and I really love them! Once the series is done, I will be making the originals available on my Etsy shop in the new year when it reopens~ . . . #art #artwork #cranialmoondesigns #artist #witch #witchy #snow #yule #winterart #artchallenge #painting #watercolor #alchemistgold #magic #snowflake #wintermagic #artsagram #artseries #newart #canadianartist #instaart #instaartist #artforsale #handdrawn #supportartists #artistsoninstagram #artsagram https://www.instagram.com/p/CX1izsAPblO/?utm_medium=tumblr
just •wow• forreal

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I'M FROM BALTIMORE CITY MY SUPERPOWER IS I'M STILL ALIVE I THANK GOD I MADE IT TO SEE 32 YEARS OLD!! #DEC21ST #winterishere❄️ #sagittariusseason #JustAKidFromBmore #magicjohnsonyear32 #32reasonstobethankful (at Baltimore, Maryland) https://www.instagram.com/p/CJFJ7D8Jekg4BMQ1LwbgXvRrUjLgxRpf1jerrE0/?igshid=udslfvkn66r1
Happiest of Birthdays to our Solstice witchling, Evelyn Rose! Can’t believe it’s your 2nd Birthday. Who knew you’d become my favorite obsession. 🙌🏻 Seeing such sass, wit, inteligence, beauty, and downright hilarity in such a little being is beyond fascinating. Thank you for being a part of our family buggie. Auntie Gaga, and Uncle Lyly love you to the moon and back. #solsticebaby #dec21st #2ndbirthday #evelynrose❤️ (at Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/CJEZxw0FIVY4wtKFNEVDl9Y2zpEsNBf1Y1CG8E0/?igshid=184aydlkem51c
#UpNext I promise #VA you dont want to miss this show #MajorKeyAlert #NorfolkVA #Dec21st @btgyp @growglobalbrands @mr_lockett25 presents #NoworNeverTour @_stateproperty @365south_ent @neef_buck @beaniesigelsp @phillyfreeway @peedicrakk1 @youngshrisnt @therealomilliosparks #ToyDrive #GrabBags we giving back in a #MajorWay Please hit up @mdotceo to make your #Donations Tickets On Sale Now!!! https://www.instagram.com/p/BrnuR1yH3Wh/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=16rop0evrzzit