#deb personal stuff

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ

Dad is coming to pick me up at 7. My goal is to get to the airport 3 hours early, which has always sounded crazy to some people but not me, not me!!!! I'm extremely nervous until I pass Security. Once I pass Security, I feel this deep relief. I hate having to spend time in a line, and being surrounded by people. So by going early it's just easier. The downside is I'll spend the next 3 hours in a crowded and very hot small terminal airport (the heat these days is insane in Belgium) and it will be a sensory hell for me, but one can't complain when one is so lucky to go on holiday.

I used to be really really scared of planes but now I'm used to it and the trip is short. I'll land around 2PM and will be at the hotel, hopefully, around 3PM. I always go to the same hotel every year and I usually know quite a few people there already so everything is familiar. It has a rythm I like.

AND THEN THE BEACH TO SEE THE SEA. I missed it so much. I immediately feel better when I see it.

I'll be there for 12 days because this year I was like let's gooo lol. It's my favorite place on Earth, I try really hard to save and I work really hard. And my nervous system needs it!!! I usually spend the entire day reading and going on walks. That's it really. I also eat a lot of fresh fruits that you can never in a million years find in the city.

Managing noise is the only difficult thing for me, even at the beach, but I'm leaving with two bluetooth devices, 2 small headphones, and every adaptator I could find so I can always listen to my white noise and block everything else. Last year I didn't dare take my headphones to the hotel restaurant but I will this year because there are always small children and a lot of noise. And it's okay if I need it. So that's progress!!!!

I've also taken steps so when I come back the next heat wave won't hit me as hard (it was close to 35 degrees in my appartment when I left) but all the good fans are out of stock. I managed to get a sorta okay one and new thermal blackout curtains. Dad will bring everything when he comes to pick me up at the airport, on Tuesday so July 7. I still need to get something from the local store and then install everything.

I come back to work the next day but on July 15 I have a minor surgery and will need 3 or 4 weeks at home. That's why I'm so anxious about the heat wave. Everything has to be ready before that. The first night the surgeon asked me to stay with my parents. Mom offered to let me stay longer but I can't. I love them but it's a sensory nightmare. So there is that. Very grateful for the support, but aware my autistic self will not last long there.

July 10 is my birthday, forgot my age for a second, but I will be 37. Had a good laugh with Mom on a video call yesterday about what I thought I would be at that age when I was younger. But it's okay. I truly believe it's a privilege to grow old.

I decided to buy a parasol this year. Google is confusing me about the English translation. I guess it's sun or beach umbrella? I'll use it tomorrow because I have a fragile skin and despite putting plenty of sunscreen every two minutes I already have a sunburn on my back.

The AC in my hotel room is such a gift to me! It's not really available in most places in Belgium. My appartment last night was so hot. It was impossible to sleep. Brussels is cooking right now. But my family seems okay, even my grandmother. I talk to her every day but I videocalled her an hour ago so I could see her. She's alright. I hope tomorrow isn't too hard on everyone. And that goes for you all, no matter where you live. Stay safe! Don't forget to drink water.

Another good thing is that I'm taking my little earbuds everywhere, including the beach, and I'm no longer constantly on edge because I found a good noise with thunderstorms that block everyone else. Miracles do exist! And those earbuds are very good btw, better than those "quality" ones that actually hurt my ears and have a broken bluetooth connection. And they last longer. Very easy to use, to stop and start sound. I'm incredibly relieved. I think I'll use them all the time to block the noise around me because lately it's been difficult. Too many construction works in the city, I heard the noise of a saw everywhere. Made me angry and frustrated, and I don't like being like that. It's hard to describe to someone who has no issues with noise, but to me it's close to despair.

And another good thing: Esther who works at the hotel restaurant hugged me when she saw me. She gave me a gift yesterday. It's a small bag, a bracelet and a map from her home country. I was so touched. I took her address so I can send her my own gifts from Brussels. It's funny how things work because the first year I saw her, she seemed so grumpy to me. But she helped me order and I used Google Translate to thank her for all her help. That was years ago. She's now a ray of sunshine to me :)