Jul 10
day 1 of KILLING cass
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day 1 of KILLING cass
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the thing is the cemetery loves you. the cemetery is patient and waiting for you to lay down to sleep. the cemetery is a hundred graves and a hundred more and all of them to keep you company. the cemetery will never let you go. visiting a cemetery is much like searching for a home you'll never live in, which is much like being alive. is the thing.
hi elisabeth fan mutuals. I have a locket with Mate Kamaras as Death in it
If I'm going to interface with a personification of death it should tell me to kill myself okay it should hunger or have a coldness about it or Something it should not be a brat
to end a world is to rule it and to truly rule a world is to end it.
disparate impulses acting against eachother, factions, different visions, all replaced with nothing but you, you, you.
or all with one aim of their own, futile and spasmodic, to survive. failing and returning to nothing.
There isn't a lot of difference in the end result from far above or far below. The difference and the glory is in taking it there.
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cinematic parallels
I love my mom but man i wish she wouldnt text me updates
Like. We're not particularly close, as a family. And i know she doesnt talk to her friends as much as she should. So shes just venting to us. And thats fine.
But how the hell am i supposed to respond to "my dad is no longer drinking water" like. That sucks! Wish euthanasia wasnt such a fraught thing that would be used to enforce eugenics! Because frankly neither my grandpa nor my mom should be subjected to this. His body is shutting down. Why are we making this drag on?
I cant fucking *say* that though. That would be outright cruel. I cant say "that sucks", thats just... callous. How often can i repeat ":( im sorry" until it loses all meaning?
And in the meantime im 1500 miles away!!!!!!
(Also we've had, what, three animals at work go to hospital since yesterday, one a finch with a leg fracture, one a cavy with mysterious weakness, and now a dove with a possible necrotic toe. Im not holding up great either. But i cant even relay that neutrally!!! Its like a toxic vent channel in a discord but my family!!!!!)
I cant even get a hug, yknow?
Carry on, do the dishes, its only tuesday. Im tired of carrying on!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway if anyone wants to come over and let me break down into a sobbing heap, thatd be great. Clothes optional. Ill provide tissues and tea and pop tarts. No cat allergies. (Joking but also not)