#deathlings

So I’m sharing it here, with what few followers I have.

“𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳..𝘍𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴.. 𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘭𝘺..𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦.. 𝘸𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦..”

"The spawns of the Pale Horseman, twins with one who is as gentle as a flower yet craves knowledge and the other as sharp as a blade yet fair in battle." - Unknown

18) by far my favorite youtube channel is Ask A Mortician!!! I love Caitlin so much and I've learned so much from her, both weirdness about iconic corpses like Eva Peron and very useful information about death plans and different body disposal methods and now I have a solid death plan!

10) do the Deathlings count as a fandom? I'm gonna go with yes. Deathlings aka followers of Ask A Mortician. We're probably the only people you'll hear talking about iconic corpses and American mummies and weird stories from the middle ages like that time a dead pope was put on trial 😂

ig: AccioBooksAndSunshine

Unfortunately, my Grandma died from COVID-19 last week. 

As a dedicated deathling, I’ve read a lot about death and grief the last few years.  I thought that sure enough next time somebody in my family dies, it won’t be that bad. Long gone are the traumatizing experiences I’ve had in the past.  Naturally at 88 almost 89 years old, I kind of prepared myself for the fact that my Grandma would most likely be the next person to die. Sorry, Grandma. I should have knocked on wood. 

I thought-okay. I can handle my Grandma dying. My Grandma has had the most incredible life. We shared a ton of memories together, we don’t have any unresolved issues, she was a great Grandma to me. Surely it’ll be pretty okay to let her go.  I imagined that her death would be pretty peaceful and uneventful.  I imagined that she’d just die of old age, warm in her bed with her family at her side. Maybe somebody playing flute in the background. 

Well..I was wrong.  Instead, my Grandma had to spend her last few months on Earth completely alone with only a nurse to attend to her.  She stopped eating, she had to be on oxygen and couldn’t breath, she didn’t have the energy to talk to anybody.  Due to her dementia, she wasn’t able to understand why we couldn’t visit. When I talked to briefly on the phone she said “you live just up the street, why don’t you come visit?”.  It broke my heart. 

Now we aren’t able to have a funeral or burial for her either. We can’t do any of the things that I had planned on doing that were supposed to make me feel “okay-ish” about death. 

I guess the lesson learned is that the joke is on me for thinking that as long as I prepare myself for death-I will be okay.  At the end of the day, death still sucks.