#deathcalleds

"man, have you like– EVER– had fun ?? or are you just brooding all the time??"

he left the a key in the lock box. he sent a passcode. he has two cameras at his front door and a security system. so when the door opens, he shouldn't panic. he still does. but then brown eyes catch on luke, and none of it matters anymore. his arms wrap around luke's neck in an instant, like no time has passed at all. tears well in his eyes, and he doesn't even have the sense to be embarrassed about how desperately their lips slot together. "i missed you."

he shouldn't have done it. he KNOWS he shouldn't have. but as soon as he's let luke come apart, two hands shove his chest off of him, and his hands reach up to card through his hair. "if you bring it up one more fucking time, i'm never letting you fuck me again." he's got a stupid, shit eating grin on his face to cover just how much he's seething. "it's not your fucking business, luke." he lifts his hands, as if to prove how ridiculous this is. "you hit ten fucking times and i'm never coming over again."

★— ATTN: @deathcalleds

things are incredibly different now. two years. new name. new home. new tattoos. new jobs. hell– he's not even really supposed to be out at big mountains anymore. he's so lonely. he can't talk to anyone. portland is a big city. people don't ask too much of him here. he has a whole new identity, and no one ever digs in. goodbye theodore williams, hello alex diaz. he knew when he changed it that he shouldn't have picked his mom's maiden name, but there's like a million diazes, right ?? he doesn't need to be worried, right ?? no one ever has to know about the person he used to be. he's walking in from his car, some clunker station wagon he bought cheap and could barely ever afford to fix, when he sees him. waiting on line for a cup of coffee, and he's going to have to serve him. SHIT. teddy steels himself against it. "welcome in !! what can i started for you??" he's so thankful he's wearing that stupid fucking name tag.

"you say that like you don't love it." a beat, "aw, that was almost a compliment !!"

"hey–" okay so caring about all this shit is kind of new for teddy. "i know this is dramatic or whatever." he starts – god he's TRYING not to be fucking weird about all of this. "but i have all of the ingredients to make you grapefruit spritzes all night." valentines day is not his thing. decidedly not, even. because he's so used to casual – and he usually puts distance between himself and this. "and i know it's not some like – big plan. but i like – tend to be really shitty at that."

the tension between them has been building for years. in those first few moments, teddy was hooked. but he didn't say anything about it. he never said anything about it. he couldn't. it didn't matter that teddy was hooked from the first time luke put a hand on his hip, because teddy doesn't do commitment like that. not anymore. not when it has always come with a whole bunch of shit he never knows how to cope with. he's not interested in welcoming any more fucking violence into his life, and he's been convinced a relationship with him can't exist without it. he can practically see the way that luke's resolve is crumbling in his hands, and it stirs pride in his chest. and hunger. he loves this. he blooms under attention, thrives under obsession. he wants to be every thought that passes through luke's mind. he wants to be the only thing he can think about. even if he never actually does anything with it. not now hits him like a freight train, a rejection he doesn't want, but he tucks that between his ribs. he can worry about how that makes him feel some other time. right now, he's clearly in a position to put more pressure on, to see how far he can push. "if you're everything i'm fantasizing about," a pause, and he leans forward again, "then why haven't you let me blow you in the bathroom ??"