note (against my better judgement DX)
Send ‘note’ for a death letter | No longer accepting
The blip of a new message flashes on the pad, like any other, triggered by a scheduled upload that had not been rescheduled like it normally was.
The screen showed a blank wall with a seat in front of it and then the camera shook just a bit as it was repositioned before Aryn walked away from it and took a seat. Well she went to sit but then looked back at the camera with a crooked grin and gave her butt a small shake, titling her hips to each side. “Like the view?”
She laughed and then sat down properly facing the camera. The amusement on her expression then drained some as she thought more seriously about the true purpose of the video. She gave another small smile but with her brow arched up, it seemed almost apologetic.
“Hey Lover. If… well, if you’ve received this it means that I am probably dead or something has really gone awry. Maybe my memories failed me, but I set a reminder to reminder me to push back the publishing soooo, probably the former.”
She shifted in her seat a little bit, looking down at it and then looked back to the camera, pushing up a sad smile again. “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you’re going through… well, I mean I can, and it’s awful. Just the thought of losing you makes me feel it and-” She cleared her throat and lifted her chin, fanning her face. “Ah, shit. I told myself to try to at least get halfway without crying and I’m blowing it.” She blinked a couple times, getting the misty-eyed feeling under control and then gave a small laugh over it in spite of herself before she managed to look back to camera.
“Anyway, I decided to do it this way since I knew there was no where I could hide an actual letter anywhere that you wouldn’t eventually find. I didn’t want any translators to mess up meaning either. And this way you get to see my faaaace again!” She put her hands on either side of her cheeks and tilted her head a bit in ‘cute’ pose, framing her face and smiling. “Tah-da!”
Another chuckle left her and she went back to sitting normal again. “I know this might be harder for you, I hope in the long run it’s not. And if this is the millionth time you’ve watched this and are wondering if you shouldn’t be. I want you to know it’s alright to not. It’s alright to move on, to rebuild, to find a new dream, new goals, new… people to love and be loved back by. You deserve that. You’re so wonderful and special, even though I know you hide it away.”
“It’s really important to me that you know I love you so, so much, but that doesn’t mean you don’t get to experience that again with someone new and wonderful, so long as they treat you right. It’s okay to move on. The love we shared won’t diminish because of that. We’ll still have had those times and you’ll have those memories, and just keep me tucked away in a small corner of your heart, and open the rest up to other people. I don’t need too much space.” She grinned again. “My quarters proved that didn’t it? Just all packed in like sardines. Oh uh, tiny fish in a tin.”
“I don’t know if it’ll make a difference to Theron, but tell Sulfa that I love her too and appreciate everything she did for me and how she welcomed me. It was just… it meant the world to me.” Her voice started getting a bit thick as she was getting choked up again, but cleared her throat and smiled. “I just couldn’t have imagined any of this, or what you’d mean to me in the end, and I just… I love you so much, please just never doubt that.”
“I’m glad you were such a stubborn asshole that wouldn’t leave me alone.” Despite her clearly upset tone of voice, she laughed again and grinned more genuinely.
After a moment she got up and moved forward to the camera again, crouching down so her face was in shot again, “I love you, please take care of yourself.” She pointed at the camera and gave it a little sterner of a look, that reflected in her voice as well. “I mean it, buster, good care of yourself, not this wishy washy, get away with just barely doing it stuff. Take good care of yourself, that’s all I really want. Love you.”
