#death l

My dad: that's fatigue

                                                        "Elaine"

Around New Years, I received a phone call from Elaine's father. Elaine was a 9 year old girl that I tutored in reading and writing. She had dark red hair and a face full of freckles. Her father told me that she had just passed away a few days before in a car accident. My heart was broken. Because she had taken to me, and I was quite fond of her, he asked me if I would say a short dedication to her at the memorial service. 

It wasn't long or particularly elegant, but I stood in front of 500 mourning friends and family and read these words. 

Years ago, while trekking across the Appalachian Mountains, the Native American Elder (Ancient Fire)  and his 5 year old granddaughter, stumbled upon a rare and beautiful flower that had begun to lose its petals. Tears began to fall from her eyes as she asked her grandpa what would become of the flower. Kneeling down and placing her head on his chest, he softly spoke into her ear. “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.”

I don’t pretend that I or anyone else can make sense of all the bitterness and pain that exists. How could I? How could I make sense of something that makes no sense?

But today, I wonder if that old Indian Elder was right. I wonder if the ending of something also marks something’s beginning. I wonder if Elaine’s death, in all its tragedy and heartbreak, brings about a sense of hope. I wonder if Elaine’s death, and the pain it brings, will in the end, tell a larger story: a story that draws God closer and allows him to become more intimate: a story that brings about his comfort. It’s a story that doesn’t answer all of the lingering questions, but one that over time, reveals God’s love for everyone here.

As I reflect, I can’t help but see Elaine’s smile. It’s a smile that I know she has gotten from her father. I wonder if somehow, when he smiles, a piece of her remains. I hear Elaine’s laugh and I know that it’s a laugh she’s gotten from her mother…. and I wonder if she’s keeping a part of her here, suspended and resolute in time. Elaine will remain alive and vivid in all of our memories.

Poet Kahlil Gibran once wrote that “sadness is but a wall between two gardens”

And somehow today, that sentiment rings true. It’s a sentiment that speaks to the most fundamental of universal truths. That our heartache and pain, our sadness and depression, are nothing more than temporary fixtures, soon to be dispelled by the hand of God.

Gibran’s words echo The Apostle Paul in the 8th chapter of Romans.  ”Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.”

In the end, what we must know above all, is that God promises to make all things new: to wipe away all tears and breathe his very own life into those we’ve lost. It’s a promise that won’t be broken.

Sincerely,