Mary Poppins Redux
So you want to join the ranks of the elite. I may just have a tip or two to help you on your journey. For I myself have experienced greatness numerous times, and while it was never an easy accomplishment, it was by no means the impossible task your piss-poor aiming skills have you believing. Just follow along and you’ll go from neophyte to grand master in no time.
Like any craft you wish to become great at, a good foundation is key. Through many painful games I’ve decided that a good foundation in Fortnite is built upon the following concepts: Your starting area, collection of resources, awareness of your surroundings and ability to move throughout them, picking the right fights, and building. You may say to yourself “well no shit that’s basically the whole game.” And you’d be right, but since you don’t have any wins yet just shut up and listen.
We’ll begin with the starting area. It’s a good idea to have somewhere between three to five spots, preferably somewhat spread out on the map, as your go to openers. Where the bus is traveling is the main deciding factor in which one you choose each game. You want to land before anyone else if possible. Once you have these picked, learn them. I don’t mean know where buildings are, or where a tree is. I mean learn that this house is actually based off a real life house in Montana where five people were murdered on the 2nd floor in the third room on the left. Where, coincidentally, there is now a treasure chest. The more you memorize about these areas, the quicker you can scavenge the shit out of them and move on. Here’s a free tip about location as well: If some of your favorite spots are more centralized on the map, odds are you won’t have to travel too far come storm time. If you have an outlier or two on the edge of the map, be ready some games to just drop everything you’re carrying, put on Chariots of Fire, and run like hell.
As mentioned previously, scavenging resources happens early and often and can mean the difference between an early exit and a long game. This doesn’t just mean weapons/ammo, but building supplies as well. By now you should know the layout of your spots including weapon/ammo drops, treasure chests, and for the eagle-eyed individuals, the ammo crates. Run around like a madman collecting all of these, and be sure to include some pickaxe work as well. All three building supplies are useful, as I’ll highlight later.
If you’re still alive at this point, your first big decision will be made soon, sometimes forcibly by the storm and sometimes by your low I.Q. If the storm isn’t forcing you out, ask yourself if you can reasonably survive in the immediate area. If the answer is yes, well good on you. Now sit fucking tight and don’t do anything stupid. If the answer is no, get ready for some butthole puckering. Moving to a safe zone is when you’re at your most vulnerable state. While the white line will show you the quickest route to avoid the storm, it’s rarely the best way. Check the map. What do you see on the path to safety? Do you absolutely have to cross between those two mountains or can you navigate around and let the other assholes filter through those hot gates? Picking your path is almost as important as choosing when to move. There is no need to move as soon as the storm is announced. In fact moving with the storm at your back lets it act as a semi-safe wall that you won’t have to continually check. Yes you’ll get the occasional latecomer who bursts out of the storm 30 seconds late and sticks it in you from behind. He’ll also die a horrible death in two minutes so f him. This method usually leads to grabbing easy loot from bodies that were picked off by people far away and not wanting to risk the wrath of the storm. On the flipside, leaving immediately to get to the safe zone allows the opportunity to get set up safely. This also has the chance to pay off in the future if more safe zones lands on your current location. And while you’re nice and cozy in your safe spot, you can shoot all the late jerks scrambling to make it in. Whichever style feels right, stick with it until you’ve mastered it.
I should probably mention fighting here. If you possess the skills to massacre twenty people a game, get the fuck out of here because this isn’t for you. If you can only amass a handful of kills each game, welcome to my skill level. Having any of your favorite starting areas be popular means you will most likely have to win a fight or two in the early game. Ideally you’d want to win these fights before using any shield potions you may have found, but ideally you’d never get hit either so let’s be real. Use any shields right away, bandage/med kit up, lay traps, be sneaky, throw grenades, yell obscenities. Whatever it takes, win those early fights. But choose them wisely. If you see two people going at it, let one kill the other. Then when he goes to loot the spoils, lay it on. Now you have a nice package deal of two peoples’ loot in one spot for quick gathering. Also pay attention to who is looting what in your area. Why waste your time looting that building over there when you know the chump who is currently looting it will bring it over to you on a silver platter.
Finally we have building. For those of you who’ve played Minecraft, you’re already one step ahead of the game. The trickiest aspect of building to master is the ability to quickly access and navigate the building menu. Trying to lay a ramp down and instead swinging your pickaxe at butterflies will look really fucking stupid. Once you’ve mastered that interface, the sky is the limit. For starters, work on being able to quickly build four walls around you with a ramp inside. This is the fastest, most accommodating structure you can whip up and it’ll do the trick for most situations, especially late game. You’re choice of materials certainly matters as well. Try to use wood for getting around in the early game, brick in the mid game, and if you’re smart, you’ll have plenty of metal for those hardy structures at the end. If you’re traveling and you feel exposed, be ready to build on the spot if someone starts lighting your ass up. If you have a shitload of building materials in the late game, use them liberally. Nothing reeks of ineptitude more than dying while exposed and dropping 300 metal on the ground.
There, now you have a basic approach to avoid finishing 87th consistently. In no time you should be floating around on your umbrella like a boss, scaring away all the glider-using scum from landing anywhere near you.
- Grand Master Kas











