Dear Kay
Dear Kay, I had to tell you something, and I haven't the words to speak it. I just wanted to let you know-- I get it. We all have a ghoul in us. My Dad had memories, my Mom had regrets, and I had delusions. How can we live without amassing the poisons of hate and suffering? How can we move on unless we section it off in a corner somewhere and try to not look at it? It's that demon, that spectre, floating just outside our peripheral. He's there, timeless as the ages, but refusing to ever leave us... or to stop bleeding on the carpet. I get it Kay, I know how much it hurts. If you could give it all to me, I would take it-- every blow. Â Â
Kay, it's alright to lick the stamps to make paying the bills hurt less. I believe with all my being that everyone deserves to see the ramparts and minarets out of a fantasy, that never-ending story. The simple times, the happy times, the floating stars of a fire-fly night. They're all raindrops in the same stream. And whats wrong with the ice melting, filling up the brook in a cool and cleansing swell once in a while? I know in my heart that there's nothing wrong with it, and I knew in my heart long before I knew in my head. They'll tell you you're wrong, that you're daft for daring to take a break and a breath, but you'll know better. You already do.
Lovely Kay, there's nothing to regret or delude yourself over in the first place, and that's why I wrote you. You once beckoned me inside to dance and sing, and god did we. It was the late afternoon and I collapsed on the couch giggling and smiling, too worn out to do any more. I commented lazily about how beautiful your old house was, but you answered to me in a very somber way. The house was a relic and the paint was peeling and you looked away as you told me you would never have enough money to paint it again-- to treat it how it deserved. I didn't have the words in that instance, Kay, but I believe in you. Because who else could do it but you? You'll live to see your ramparts and minarets in person. Your never-ending story. Â
