#dear future guy

It’s been awhile.

I hope it’s okay that I haven’t been speaking to you as much, it’s not my fault really. I mean in a way it is, I gave up there for a while. But I’m finally becoming a little okay again. So I am terribly sorry for the inconvenience. I hope you’re doing okay.

A part of me I've never seen"

I miss you terribly, and tonight was odd... It's been awhile since you've messaged first. And now this is the first time you've given me a nickname on messenger. Just as it is the first time I've given you one.

I'm not doing okay.

I'm home now, I just got up to go back to work. And so much is running through my head, like right now. I'm freezing cause I got used to the warm Florida weather compared to the Bipolar Ohio doesn't know what it's doing.

It's also hard to believe that the day before yesterday I was waking up to your sarcastic comments and goofy smile.

I already miss that goofy smile.

As always I'm hating being home. It doesn't seem like I left to be honest. I want to be back with you.

Not that it matters, but to me it does.

I'm thinking about saving up and trying to move down there.

I'm gonna try, but I don't know how well it'll go. I don't even know if you'd like it if I moved down there. I know your brothers would.

I know I would.

Curled up with him, wearing his shirt. Backs touching, legs tangled together.

Him watching YouTube quietly while I read listening to him quietly chuckle.

Neither of us really saying anything, but him occasionally placing his hand on my hip and tapping it waiting for me to respond just to see if I'm awake.

I drive down to see you tomorrow and I'm so excited.