i don't think i've ever been more not okay in my life.

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i don't think i've ever been more not okay in my life.

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A fool and their money are $oon departed as a wise man once said nothing.
What If? #41 October 1, 1983
I used to go on and on to him about the things he was doing wrong. All falling on deaf ears. I used to get so upset by this. I’d nag. I would go on hour long rants. But now I no longer feel the need to tell him his transgressions. He knows what he is doing wrong. I have come to terms with him just naturally being an asshole. I don’t have to make it known to him through a sea of negative and antagonizing tangents. I could just observe with calm reserve, and make the necessary moves thereafter. Because I don’t have to deal with the negative results of his demons. Traumas he refuses to deal with. I need someone who is healed or healing. Someone who’s willing to go through the uncomfortable process of growing with me. Not someone who is afraid of change. Even in themselves.
it takes effort, though
Empty bottomless pit of despair you left me there the worm at the bottom of the bottle. my body is ready to go the frustrations rise, you’ll never know how close I’ve been to letting go, to jumping off the deepest side is where we both are drowning, lying sideways on the shore emerging from the depths of us learning to explore.Â
I hear your voice at the end of the tunnel. here we stand against the mountains, dropping back to where we once were thieves but now we stand, two liars sounding off into the dark. I can’t hear you, you don’t hear me and we are at the bottom of the bottomless hell you’ve created for yourself.Â
I can’t be here in this space we once shared. We scream with deaf ears - this cocoon stifles all we are. To break free would tear us all apart even as this instinct grips my hollow heart I need to move. I need to feel.

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Faith is not a soft option offered to people who need a crutch to get through the rest of their lives. Faith is the supernatural activity of God whereby He opens blind eyes, unstops deaf ears, and a man or a woman says- “I see it now. I get it now. I am going to trust in God. I am going to trust in Jesus.
Alistair Begg
Your concept and your idea about school concealed carry -- and it's -- it only works where you have people very adept at using firearms, of which you have many, and -- who would be teachers and coaches -- if the coach had a firearm in his locker, when he ran at this guy -- that coach was very brave -- saved a lot of lives, I suspect. But, if he had a firearm, he wouldn't have had to run. He would have shot, and that would have been the end of it. And this would only be, obviously, for people that are very adept at handling a gun. And it would be -- it's called concealed carry, where a teacher would have a concealed gun on them. They'd go for special training, and they would be there, and you would no longer have a gun-free zone. "Gun-free zone," to a maniac -- because they're all cowards -- a gun-free zone is "Let's go in and let's attack, because bullets aren't coming back at us." And if you -- if you do this -- and a lot of people are talking about it -- it's certainly a point that we'll discuss -- but concealed carry for teachers and for people of talent -- of that type of talent -- so let's say you had 20 percent of your teaching force -- because that's pretty much the number -- and you said it -- an attack has lasted, on average, about three minutes. It takes five to eight minutes for responders -- for the police to come in. So the attack is over. If you had a teacher with -- who was adept at firearms, they could very well end the attack very quickly. And the good thing about a suggestion like that -- and we're going to be looking at it very strongly, and I think a lot of people are going to be opposed to it; I think a lot of people are going to like it. But the good thing is that you'll have a lot of people with that. You know, you can't have 100 security guards in Stoneman Douglas. That's a big school. It's a massive school with a lot of acreage to cover, a lot of floor area. And so that would be, certainly, a situation that is being discussed a lot by a lot of people. You'd have a lot of people that'd be armed, that'd be ready. They're professionals. There may be Marines that left the Marines, left the Army, left the Air Force and they're very adept at doing that. You'd have a lot of them, and they'd be spread evenly throughout the school.
At Listening Session, Trump Suggests Teachers Should Carry Guns: "It's Called Concealed Carry" | Video | RealClearPolitics