#deadppol

It was a sunny afternoon and you had decided to spend it relaxing in Central Park, reading or sleeping- who knows.

You had just started to relax and read the first three chapters of the book you had taken with you, when loud screams, shouting and the distinct sounds of weapons getting fired and explosions.

For real? What is it this time? I just wanted to relax. God dammit!

“Isnt it a beautiful day? The sun is shining, the birds are singing- aliens are attacking this wonderful city.”, one of your friends asked with a smile in his voice.

“You mean, it WAS a beau-”

“-Oh NO. It still is.”, the Merc with the mouth scolded you, shushing your words with one of his gloves fingers on your lips.

“Wade- there are explosions and this was the first days in weeks i was able to take off!”, you groaned, motioning to where the sound of scared humans got louder and louder with every passing second.

“AND you can still do. Not our opponents!”, he shrugged, laying down next to you like Kate Winslet did in Titanic, taking a juicy bite of the Apple he had in his hands.

Where did he get THAT from now?

“Wade- we cannot- civilians are in danger! We cannot just sit here and do nothing!.”, you tried to reason with him. And truth be told: you wanted to kill who ever took this peacefull day from you.

The man was still munching on his Apple, though one of his hands readjusted his balls, a satisfied moan left his throat.

“Hay, that Cloud almost looks like Parker! only more Evil, so maybe it is Eddie instead- Depends on the TImeline though.”, he mumbled, pointing at a cloud that had two tearshaped holes in it.

“Wade come one. Who ever this is, i want to enjoy this fucking good day and to do that the attacker must die. And the sooner the better!”, you hissed and growled, already rummaging through your backpack to get your weapons out: You never left your house without them- problems always seemed to find you. “And didn´t you want to try out the new guns colossus got you for your birthday and the Katanas Yuki and Nega did? Now is the perfect time!”

That caught his interest.

“Ooooh, you mean these babies here?”, he grinned, caressing them like a lover. “Aaaalright. But only because there won´t be any Chimichangas for dinner when NY get´s destroyed. NO ONE TAKES MY CHIMMICHANGAS! LEEEEET´S GET READY TOOOOOO RUUUUUUMBLEEEEEE!!! motherfuckers!”

And with that warcry, the merc with a mouth ran towards the Attack a few blocks away, one of his Katanas lifted onto the air, like those Generals did on the warmonuments.

Sometimes you still wondered how the fuck you had ended up with Deadpool as a friend and partner.

“Any idea why they chose NY?”

“Tradition! Everybody knows Aliens only ever Attack the USA and NY.”

“Wade-”, you groaned.

“Goldihorns, you know the one that got fucked by a and birthed a horse, the brother of the man who stole his mothers drapes. He was send by a walking eggplant with balls instead of a chin.”, he answered, decaptitating a few Aliens that got too close.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? You know what- doesn´t matter. Do we help them now for real or not?”

“Nope. They are on their own! Not my Universe- not my problem- well ours I mean. They should have thought about the rights before.”, he shrugged with a laught.

Sometimes you really had no idea what he was talking about.

You just wanted to ask Deadpool what “rights” he was talking about, when a HUGE armored flying space whale flew through one of the skyskrapers close by. Changing your oppinion at once.

“You know what? you are right with whatever you just said. They are sooo on their own! i am not starting to piss of PETA and their friends again by killing a whale- even though it is flying and attacking NY. Let´s just make sure these space monkeys don´t run and destroy the Chimichanga place in their path.”, you declared, standing next to the red and black dressed antihero. Ready to walk the way back you came.

“HOW DARE THEM! SAFE THE CHIMMICHANGAS!”, and with that- the man ran to defend his loved food.

AN2.0: So I hope you like my little Deadpool in mists of the NY Attack of Avengers 1

Please let me know what you think ^^

Permanent:

@jadepc@pacifyhxlsey @thankyoukarenclifford @thankyouforanonymity  @punkrockhufflefluff @scarletraine @ambrosialyn  @markusstraya @graveyard-groupie @buckycaptspideypool @elwenia

MCU:

@yknott81​ ​@caplansteverogers​  ​ @banner-and-bucky-are-life​ @forext20 @dyanlzbb  @so-finster-die-nacht @emmii4