❛   𝐎𝐇  .   ❜    𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐅 𝐎𝐅 𝐀 𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇  ,  𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐈𝐓 awkward  .  she can feel  ,  physically feel the flush creep up her throat  ,  dust the tips of her ears  .  she holds the book in her palms with tight grip  ,  but takes a hesitant step forward  ,  nonetheless  .    ❛   elizabeth  ,  i could really just  —  uh  ,   the couch is  —  i mean  .  but if you want me to  ,  i could  —  do that  .  sit  ,  ah  .  there  .  absolutely reasonable  .   ❜    there is no way to get around the painfully slow way velma approaches  ,  nor get out of how she  ,  very gingerly  ,  settles onto elizabeth’s knees  .  velma clears her throat once  .  then again  .    ❛   is this  ,  um  .  is this good for you  .   ❜

 “Damn, you got good aim.”

 maybe she had been watching the other woman hitting the targets belonging to one of the game stands that lined the Boardwalk for the past couple minutes. how could she not, though? it was impressive-- and even id it was just a silly game, it hinted at ones prowess to the real thing. and if her skills with a toy gun were anything, then Shaundi can only imagine how it is with an actual gun. 

❛    of course i trust you   .    ❜      velma is FREE of hesitation   ,   here   ,   responds quick   ,   thoughtless   .   there is no doubt in her mind   :   elizabeth was trustworthy   ,   deserving of trust   .   velma did not question that   .      ❛    i’m not asking because of a lack of trust   .   i just   —   want to know what’s going on   ,   too   .   i don’t believe that to be   —   to be unreasonable   .   right   ?    ❜

warmth blossoms like spring   :   velma feels body relax   ,   go a little slack in the other’s hold   .   hug is warmwarm   ,   a little like floating   .   was it always this nice   ?   was it always going to be this nice   ?   (   don’t think about the future   ,   bright girl   .   not yet   .   this always ends in tears   .   )      ❛    well   ,   it certainly was a long trip   .   one whole day   .    ❜      teasing   ,   teasing   ,   smile pressed into elizabeth’s shoulder   .      ❛    i haven’t the faintest clue how you managed   .    ❜

she’d thought it’d been a joke   .   or   —   or just part of elizabeth’s personality   ,   how she acts   .   the smiles   ,   the touches   ,   the JOKES   .   velma is red to the tips of her ears   ,   stands a little shell  -  shocked   ,   lips pressed together for a moment   ,   anxiously   .   they part on an exhale   ,   and she has to   —   you have to say something   ,   velma   ,   you   —      ❛    oh   .   oh   ,   that’s   —   i mean   .   yuh  -  you   —   you can   .   if you want   .    ❜

      rain can only wash so much clean: not sin, not loss, not pain, not anything that really matters in the end.   it carries away the thin veneer of dirt but what good does that do?   the rooftop is slick with it, dirt and rain alike, and the city below is quiet in the aftermath of the storm, bright lights like beacons against the night sky from where they’re perched.

      he laughs from somewhere deep inside, bitter and biting with wounds old enough to be canyons of grief— but for who?   it’s wrong to mourn himself, this is the decision he made, for better or worse, all those years ago.   to live, to die, to rise up from the ashes of his mistakes as if he might rectify them if he pushes hard enough, if he just tries—

      his head tips towards her, face blessedly obscured.   “alive as anyone else.”   but that’s not true now either, is it?   he doesn’t know what he is anymore, torn between the reality of death and the misery of life.   what’s the point echoes like a drumbeat in his head, but he knows the answer to that, too.   everything is the point.   for now, forever, whatever might come.