#deadfuckingass

So the thing is, I hafto stop taking care of myself for how long, be deprived of all good things, in order for you to not feel jealous of me, yet you still are?!?!??! I have to like roll around in trash for you to be fine with yourself, and you think Im insinuating your trash??!?!?!? The thing is, what is this jealousy doing to you??? Making you feel less then me because you could never?!?!??! Nooo, the thing is, you still don't look within yourself and find a reason to like LOVE THE FUCKING SHIT OUTTA YOURSELF, and I do not understand why?!?!?!? BECAUSE THIS IS THE FUCKING ISSUE, AND you expect me to get judged by absolutely everyone always, in order for your anger to be calmed down, because I am me and she is me?!?!?!? Like you cannot handle that??!??!??!?? You're really like that?!?!?! DEADFUCKINGASS?!?!?!? How come?!?!?!??! And you dont like the fact that, others like the vybe Ive got?!?!?! All because you feel like you cant stay around my vybe?!?!? Because you think you cant crush this jealousy?!??!? Because you think jealousy is a good thing?!?!? THIS FUCKING WORD RUINS YOU.... YOUR AUTHENTICITY.... AND THE THING, THIS WORD RUINS YOUR OWN SELF LOVE, AND SELF LOVE IS ACTUALLY NOT NARCASSISM.... ITS HOW YOU USE THAT.

And the thing you swarm me over and over and over and over again, you do not give me space to actually try to recover from some shit you do not FUCKING EVEN KNOW how TF I got through that.... because you couldnt possibly!??! Or you just didnt want to..... I DIDNT WANT ANY OF THIS SHIT, AND IVE BEEN GETTING FORCED SINCE LIKE WHEN?!??!?! FOREVER!??!?!??!??!??!??????????????????????????????????????

*ALL BECAUSE YOU HELD YOUR BREATH AND THOUGHT OF SMOKING BEFORE I WAS OFFICIATED/ BORN??????*

AND THE THING IS YOU NEVER TELL ME ANYTHING YOU JUST MAKE SURE I HAFTO FIND OUT ON MY OWN AND MAKE ME FEEL STUPID AF FOR NOT KNOWING, WHEN YOU ARE LITERALLY THE ONES DEPRIVING ME OF SOMETHING AND EXCLUDING ME..... ALL THE FUCKING TIME. AND TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY VULNERABILITY. THATS NOT STRENGTH.

WTF ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THAT INFORMATION?!??!?!? DO YOU BELIEVE IN CHANGING YOURSELF, AND BEING WRONG EVER??!?!??!? OR DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL INVALID?!?!?!?? BEING WRONG, AND BEING TEACHABLE GIVES YOU A DEEPER STRENGTH THEN YOU HAVE EVER KNOWN, AND YOU DONT WANT THAT?!?!?!??!?!?