#de skips

Amir

See, Amir is a polite man. He never actually holds any malice towards anyone, let alone a stranger, which your ex technically is to him

It honestly depends on who your ex is and what you’ve told him about them. That’s how he makes a good portion of his judgment in this moment.

If there’s no hard feelings and things didn’t end badly, then Amir is very friendly. Says hello, introduces himself, maybe talk for a bit. No malice or anything.

Oh but if you’ve shared some information about them that lets them know that they weren’t a good lover and didn’t treat you right then he’s gonna be a little sassy and cold toward them

He keeps up the civil and friendly spirit, but it’s vert clear to you by how he’s acting that he’s acting

“Ah yes, my dear Azizam has told me about you and the history between the two of you.” He sounds so civil but you can hear him gritting his teeth

Any time your ex tries to ask about how you’re doing and trying to flirt with you, Amir honestly talks for you the whole time with a possessive arm over you.

“Yes yes. They’ve been doing quite well. I keep them good company and make sure they are happy.”

If they try to flirt with you

“They do look divine today, yes. I’m very fortunate to have them be mine.”

Amir tries his best to get conversation over as quick as possible and get moving as far away from them as possible

He will apologize for his “poor behavior”

“I’m very sorry for how I acted. But knowing who they are through what you have opened up to me about and seeing them talking to you in that way as if they did not hurt you. I couldn’t help myself.”

Chance

Oh he’s so sweet. I don’t think he’d even let his own feelings get ahead of him, even if he knows that your ex was/is a piece of shit. He’d be nice and civil to them unless they were actively crossing a line after you’ve established that Chance is your boyfriend. Otherwise he just lets the two of you talk.

That is if you’re okay with talking to them. Like if it’s just casual or maybe even a little bit of awkward then it’s fine. But if you’re clearly uncomfortable or don’t want to be talking to them the Chance will gladly step in, in a way that’s very simple and doesn’t cause a problem

“Hey. It’s interesting meeting you and all, but me and them have somewhere to be and we’d hate to be late. Sorry.” before just straight up walking off with you. Maybe he adds a half assed “Bye”. And that’s a lot because I can tell that Chance is a “goodbye” guy. If he just says bye then that MEANS something

He’ll then check up on you to see if you’re okay from that interaction

I want to say more like I did for Amir but I truly do think that Chance is a very nice guy and rarely gets angry unless it’s something that actually pisses him off, otherwise he’s pretty good at keeping his cool and being civil. But he does care for you and wants to make sure that he’s there for you if anything comes up, especially something like that where you might be uncomfortable

Trust though, he does have OPINIONS about your ex and will talk about it later to lighten up the mood

“Did they really try flirting with you in front of me after to told them I was your boyfriend? How stupid. They’re lucky I’m not a hot head.”

“Asking you to coffee? Seriously? Everyone knows what that means when they say that.”

The Hanks

Oh my sweet baby boys

I think it takes them a moment to realize that this person is your ex. Like they think it’s just someone who knows you and wants to talk to you. So they just… act like they normally would

“What’s up, homie! How’s it going?”

Truth be told I think their numbers actually scare them a bit. Because like, here you are with these five guys, no context. They don’t even need to know that they’re all your boyfriend.

But they probably do find out because I can definitely see one of them opening up their big mouth and all of them confirm it excitedly

If your ex is being an ass and makes a comment about it then one of them is bound to pick it up and call them out and the rest follow suit

“Woah! Not cool, bro.” “Yeah. Not chill.”

That’s when the whole five-whole-ass-guys-who-are-your-boyfriend gets scary for them because that’s five whole dudes that might be ready to beat their ass on your behalf

You’ve got them trained though so if you tell them to calm down and just leave then they will. And they form a protective circle around you as you walk off, occasionally taunting your ex as you leave

They make sure you’re okay after too, then they all start dogged on your ex, and they hold nothing back too. They talk mad shit about them the entire time and make fun of them

Listen. The Hanks are all so sweet and nice. They’re literally like a bunch of dogs. They like everyone unless given a reason not to. But when they all collectively dislike someone then they can literally be the meanest fucking dudes possible when talking about them.

Hector

Dude if it’s awkward for you then it’s even more awkward for Hector simply because he already doesn’t like being thrown into social interactions without preparing for them. But if he’s able to pick up that this also wasn’t planned by you either then it’s even worse for him

He’s a bit of a deer in headlights for a moment until he realizes that this person is mostly focusing on you, which helps him regather himself, but soon he actually notices that you seem to not really being enjoying this interaction either

I don’t think it fully clicks in his head that this is an ex unless you or them introduce themself to him and he recognizes the name from the times you’ve talked about them to him

Hector isn’t one for confrontation, his socially anxiety would never let him have the guts to do that, not unless something has really REALLY gotten on his nerves and has been stewing for a WHILE that he might ever blow his lid. And even then he would probably shrink into himself and be deathly nervous and embarrassed afterwards. So I don’t think Hector would go in and start something with your ex if they’re flirting or anything like that. I think he’d actually freeze up and have some insecurities eat at him a bit. So you might actually have to be the one to pull you two out of the interaction.

Sometimes, maybe, if it can find him, Hector might do what Chance does and blurts out that you two should really get going and drag you along and away from your ex. Then apologize to you for doing that, what exactly is he apologizing for? Not too sure. I think he thinks that HE was the one that stepped out of line when in reality he’s fine

It’s not until you’re away from the situation that Hector is able to properly vocalize and express how he feels about your ex and that moment

He’s not upset at you, he makes sure that you know that and shuts you down if you try to apologize, insisting that you did nothing wrong

“They forced you into that uncomfortable interaction.”

God I hate to say it but he can be hot when he’s mad. He can never EVER be truly mad at you to the point that his anger is truly pointed at you. But seeing and hearing him get angry at the audacity of your ex is so sexy

“How dare they talk to you like that when you so politely and elegantly told them that I was your lover. As if I wasn’t standing right there! With you! Are they blind, or are they just that outrageous and prideful that they think that you’d just fall into their arms? As if you were… easy.”

Then he apologizes for that and asks if you’re okay

Hector my sweet husband

Mac

I firmly believe that once Mac gauges that this person is your ex and that they remember all the things that you’ve told them about them, Mac proceeds to brag to them and just bury them in all their achievements and how established they are and are clearly the “optimal” partner for you

Not outright, it’s that subtle type where they sort of bait them into conversation with topics that they can clearly one up them in.

“Oh you got a promotion recently? That’s nice. Me? Oh I work with tech and do some freelance programming, and I’ve got some investments here and there.” And then just drops the actual number of how much they make on average (I love the idea of Mac just getting rich and playing sugar parent okay sue me. I’m not a gold digger. I just like the idea of getting spoiled)

It would be even better if you guys are at a mall on a shopping spree just to prove that Mac’s got money to spend on you

But yeah Mac just keeps making your ex look like a broke ass scrub doesn’t stop till they fuck off in defeat or you tell them to stop

If they’re cool then it’s fine. Then Mac is just as cool and casual. But if they know that your ex is a douche/bitch then they make it their mission to just stamp them into the ground. Just for fun, and for you, but also because they think it’s fun. They can actually get really mean.

I actually think that they cyber stalked the ex. Just to see what they’re doing now and laugh at any misfortune that befell them

Mac can actually use their tech savvy-ness for evil. EVIL I tell you

But yeah Mac will gladly be a smug little shit and just make your ex feel so bad about themselves if they feel like it

Parker

I actually can’t think of how Parker would react to this situation because I think he’d still be so friendly to them regardless, in like… a clueless way

I don’t this Parker would clock that your ex is trying to flirt with you or anything like that because the “Ooh new person” part of his brain is going off and it just overrides any tone indicators

He’s just like “Oh hi! :D” and when you’re mention that he’s your boyfriend he just nods with a smile like “Yup. Nice to meet you!”

If anything he just makes it a little more awkward because of the fact that he’s just not getting it but it also repeals some things because like…

Imagine that you’re the ex in this situation. You’re trying to flirt with your ex to either win them back despite their new partner being right there, or you’re trying to make their new partner insecure, or both. But the guy’s still just smiling. No reaction. Nothing.

I also hc that Parker is actually a pretty tall dude too. So like, this guy is probably taller than you, but you are getting 0 reaction and he’s just staring at you nodding along and talking. That’s awkward as fuck and like you probably don’t want to push anything any further because what happens if he finally notices what your doing and his reaction is to get angry and quite possibly beat your ass? He becomes an umpire in his realization ending, unless I’m thinking of someone else’s, which means that he probably plays baseball. So even if he’s a bean stalk, he’s probably strong as fuck with his arms.

So god forbid he starts swinging on you. LIKE???

Of course Parker wouldn’t actually do that, but like, if he wanted to he could. So thank god most of his brain is rules and puppy boy hardware because if he wanted to fight, he could probably hold up fine, maybe even win.

So your ex might just leave. And Parker, bless his soul, will be like “They were weird :/” and then move on with you

I think you might actually have to mention that they were flirting with you and explain why for him to be like “Oooh… Well then screw them. >:(”

Skips

Skips is actually super chill unless it’s clear that they are flirting with you

If it’s just like casually bumping into them and your ex is also chill then he will literally just be like “Sup’. Name’s Skips.”

But if your ex is flirting with you then Skips starts to get a little defensive and possessive. Not necessarily causing a scene or anything but you know how he can get. So he’ll wrap and arm around you like your shoulder or your waist and sort of back out of the conversation and get you out of it too. You know?

“Oh, yeah, cool. Huh.” As he’s trying to shuffle away with you and hope that they don’t notice so that the conversation ending seems like their idea

He might get a little bit insecure since he has attachment issues and doesn’t want to be alone or especially lose you. So yeah he might try and ask about it, how you feel about your ex, all that

Please assure him that whatever you have with your ex is completely in the past and gone, that you’re with him now, and that he’s enough for you.

And maybe give him a kiss on the cheek to seal the deal