#ddba fic

note: this fic took me a while to write it and also stressed me out. reblogs and comments are very much appreciated!

Dex looks back at the months before he ever knew you existed, and he can’t believe how everything changed. He used to maintain his schedule, but now his entire life revolves around what you do. He didn’t plan to follow your path home or learn your daily habits when he first saw you. It started out as a random coincidence on a Tuesday night, yet it turned into a fixation he couldn’t stop. Now he spends his evenings watching your windows from the shadows across the street, and he remembers every single detail of the moment his small little world got disrupted. It happened late at night at the local supermarket while you stood in the brightly lit produce section. You were inspecting the fruit display when you already had two large pineapples resting in your basket.

Dex stepped up right beside you to check the pile for himself because he needed something to do with his hands. He watched your face as you turned another pineapple around to check the surface, and he wanted to speak up before he could hold himself back. He wanted to see how you would react to being interrupted. You moved your hair out of your way, but you didn’t look up until he initiated the conversation. He picked up a fruit of his own and turned it in his hand before he spoke. “That’s plenty of pineapples for a girl like you,” Dex said as he rolled the rough texture under his palm. You stopped what you’re doing while heat flooded your face because you knew what people thought about that specific fruit.

Your shoulders tensed up while you clutched the handle of your basket tightly to hide your sudden discomfort. Dex sensed the immediate change in your posture, and he realized what his words implied. “Oh, god. No, no,” Dex muttered while he held his hands up to show he wasn’t trying to be crude. “That’s not what I mean at all,” he added before you could walk away from the display. “I have a big family,” you lied as you tossed the third pineapple into your basket and tried to look confident. He could see right through the deception because your nervous blinking gave everything away. “Sure, pineapple girl,” Dex replied with a chuckle before he turned on his heel and left you alone with the fruits.

You thought the strange encounter was over, but he waited outside the glass doors until you finished paying for your groceries. He kept his distance on the dark sidewalk as you walked towards your apartment building, which was only a short distance from the store. He trailed behind you on the dark streets, and he carefully watched how you walked. You reached the front entrance and unlocked the door before you stepped inside without checking behind you. He watched from across the road until a single light flipped on in a third-floor window, and he confirmed his initial suspicion. There was no big family waiting inside that apartment because you lived by yourself. Living alone without checking your surroundings isn’t safe at all.

What if a different person found you instead of him? Someone else might easily have bad intentions if they followed you to your door. Dex wouldn’t do anything actually to hurt you, though. He constantly tells himself he only wants to watch over you. He believes he’s doing you a massive favor by making sure nobody else can get close. You’re unaware of how vulnerable you are every single night. Dex cared about you enough to learn every detail of your life. He knows you have an old laptop you only ever use for writing. He didn’t know who you were writing about at first, but he looked it up later. He learned that you write stories about characters in movies or on television.

The internet showed him that whatever you do in your free time is called fanfiction. Dex only found out about your hobby because he cared enough to pick the lock of your apartment while you were out. He found the same key for your door online, so he could come back whenever he wanted. He also cared enough to install multiple cameras from different angles inside your apartment. You won’t ever find them because they’re well hidden in places you barely ever look at or touch. The only place lacking a camera right now is your bathroom. He knows he’s a huge hypocrite for putting a camera in your bedroom without putting one in the shower too. He prefers to draw a weird line right there so he doesn’t feel like a creep.

He wants to watch you sleep or type on your bed rather than cross that one boundary. It makes him feel like a protector instead of a bad guy. Dex rarely follows you around the streets when you actually leave your home. He does it sometimes, but doing it in person is a lot more tiring. Trailing behind you in public has way too much risk compared to breaking in. He much prefers watching over the camera screens when he relaxes comfortably at his own place. He finally started reading some of the stories you wrote by opening your laptop while he stood right inside your bedroom. Dex already figured out the fanfiction part earlier, yet he didn’t realize you were writing pure smut until he actually clicked on the specific documents.

He never expected a girl like you to write something so dirty and he couldn’t even imagine doing half the things he read, but you somehow brought them into reality. What only drove him to jerk off in the first place was when he found out your hidden drafts on that old laptop. Finding those files made him start digging your dirty panties out of your laundry basket whenever he visits your empty apartment. He uses the unwashed fabric to jerk off to the scenes you wrote while he takes a spot on the edge of your bed. He imagined it was you and him doing it while he read a draft where the characters were fucking over a table.

He easily pictured bending you over your own table to make you read your own words out loud while his cock thrusts inside your cunt. Dex swears he always brings the garments right back to their spot in the hamper so you never notice they went missing. He was never sloppy when he did those kinds of things in your apartment. He never actually took your clothes home because he made sure they were strictly for one-time use. He would find a pair of dirty panties, and he always put them right back in the same spot after he finished. He never left any evidence behind that could prove he was inside your bedroom while you were gone. He knew your schedule well, so he knew how much time he had to finish his business before you came back.

He never let himself get distracted enough to make a careless mistake. Dex likes to think he’s a good guy at the end of the day. He might admit he’s a little perverted, but he’s just a normal guy. What else was he supposed to do when he read those things on your screen? His cock got hard as soon as he pictured you doing those acts so that he couldn’t ignore it. He couldn’t just take care of it right then and there. He convinced himself it was natural for a man to react that way to such graphic writing. He didn’t feel guilty because he believed anyone else in his position would do the same thing. He even went into your bathroom to clean himself up whenever he had extra time. He memorized how everything originally looked before he ever touched your things, so he remembered where every item belonged.

Dex’s condition actually helped his case during these visits because he couldn’t physically rest until everything in the room looked the way he’d left it. He would adjust the laundry basket or wipe down the sink until the apartment was spotless again. He made sure the entire place looked untouched so you would never suspect a single thing. He left your home as he found it every time. What he doesn’t know is that you aren’t stupid or clueless at all. You felt it for weeks, and maybe even months. You get a strange feeling that someone has been inside your apartment while you were gone. You always feel like someone is watching you, but proving it is hard. Trying to confirm your suspicions never works out because every single item is where you left it.

Sometimes the whole apartment smells different when you walk through the front door. There are times you smell a trace of an unknown laundry detergent on your bedsheets, or you notice a different cologne in the bedroom. The place smells like a man when you come back home. You start taking photos of your rooms before you leave. Your camera roll fills up with pictures of your bookshelf, desk, and kitchen counter. Then you compare them on your phone once you get back home, but every object matches the photos, so it only makes you feel crazier. You didn’t tell your friends about the situation since nobody would ever take you seriously. They would blame it on your stress or point out how burnt out you are.

Your obsession with horror movies and documentaries would become their excuse for your fear if you ever told them, so you prefer to hide the truth. It bothers you too much that you wonder if you are mentally unwell, especially those nights when you wake up from interrupted sleep because you feel somebody is standing right beside your bed, yet the room is always empty when you look around. Your paranoia led you to change little things on purpose to test your sanity. Leaving your laptop directly on the bed instead of your desk is your first attempt at setting a trap, but nothing happened. You try turning a random book upside down on the shelf. Sometimes you even leave a cabinet door slightly open in the kitchen before walking out of the place.

Everything is the way you usually leave it every time you return home. It scares you more than you’ll ever admit. A normal person breaking in would never bother cleaning up after themselves, or at least they would get sloppy enough. You decide to do something about the situation to cope with it. That’s why you start writing a new story about your experience. It’s obvious a stalker must check their victim’s gadgets too. The plot revolves around a stalker character and a woman who knows somebody is watching her but can’t prove a single thing, which is basically just your situation. Typing it out helps you manage your anxiety at first. You use the story as a test to see if anyone is actually looking through your laptop.

What you don’t realize is that Dex is actually reading those drafts. He sees every single word you type about him, but simply writing about the situation doesn’t rattle him. It pushes you to try something more direct, where you type out a new scene in which the victim leaves a sticky note beside her laptop. The note contains three simple words asking who the stalker is. You write that draft late at night, and you have absolutely no idea he knows what you are doing because he watches you type through the hidden cameras inside your bedroom. You tell yourself to wait for the morning to actually write it on the paper, and you stand by your word when you grab a sticky note from your desk the second you wake up.

You write the same question and leave a simple ‘Who are you?’ right beside your closed laptop so your room matches the draft before you leave for the day. You expect to feel a sense of control over the situation, yet your stomach drops the moment you lock your front door. The anxiety follows you everywhere you go and makes it difficult to focus on anything else because you only want to get back home to check your desk. You expect to find a clear answer waiting for you, but everything looks the same when you step inside. There is nothing different, and not even a single item is out of place. It leaves you feeling disappointed after seeing the paper resting there without anything written on it besides your own handwriting.

The scene ends where you left it, without a single letter edited in your document, too. You desperately want him to react, and the lack of proof frustrates you more than you would ever admit. It makes you wonder if you are losing your mind over nothing. That frustration only pushes you to try harder, so you write another scene showing how the victim feels like she is going crazy from the silence. You write that the character leaves a new message claiming ‘I know you’re here.’ before you put a second real note right beside your laptop. You refuse to move the paper or write anything new since you put that on your desk, and you force yourself to wait for him to make a move. You spend three days checking that same spot every single morning and night without getting a single reaction.

The agonizing wait only makes you more bothered by every little sound in your apartment until you decide to escalate the situation after waiting two more exhausting days. You write about the victim leaving a cup on the kitchen counter to catch her stalker, and you put a sticky note underneath a mug in your actual kitchen right after you finish typing. What you do in real life becomes a reflection of what you write on your laptop. You ask a simple question on the paper and put, ‘Are you reading this?’ to test if he actually reads your screen. You spend your entire time outside your home distracted, as you constantly wonder if this attempt will finally work. Maybe it’s fate that your instincts are telling you something because there are finally changes when you push your front door open later that night.

The mug is positioned where you left it, so nothing seems obvious at first glance. The sticky note waits hidden at the bottom, and you almost throw the paper away in defeat until you notice the mug is facing the wrong direction. You realize that the small detail has to be an intentional answer. The handle originally pointing toward the refrigerator now points directly at the sink. Nobody else would ever spot such a small difference, but you only notice it because you took a photo to compare against the counter. Your hands shake while you hold your phone up close to the cup. You don’t call the police or tell your friends about the update regardless of how you feel. You immediately run to your room to finish the draft you’re working on instead.

You type out how the stalker visited the apartment and moved the mug so the victim finally gets her proof. A sick thrill takes over you after finally confirming a real person was actually inside your personal space. That adrenaline makes you write another update where the victim becomes much bolder about the whole situation. She stops asking whether somebody is there because she already knows the undeniable truth. You refuse to let that rush of adrenaline die down, so you quickly plan your next move. The chapter ends with her wanting to know what the stalker wants from her. You stick a new note directly onto the center of your laptop screen asking, ‘What do you want from me?’ right before you leave your apartment the following morning.

It brings a personal risk, but you crave the closure it might bring. The note is where you left it when you finally returned hours later. You pull it off the screen, and your heart races while you flip the paper over. You trace your trembling fingers over the letters because his only response is a handwritten ‘Keep writing, sweetheart.’ on the back. The reality of the situation slaps you in the face while you stare down at his handwriting. Who actually does something like this? What kind of sick freak thinks this is a game? You are so pissed that your fingers dig into the edge of the desk. You grab a marker to write a message telling the stalker to fuck off. You leave the paper on your desk and threaten to call the police if he ever comes back.

“Just leave me alone,” you mutter to the empty room. That was your boiling point to stop writing more drafts to entertain a sicko. You shut your laptop hard enough that it makes a loud sound against your desk, and you almost throw the machine across the room. Dex watches you through the live feed on his monitor with a small smirk on his face. He leans back in his chair because he loves seeing you get all fired up, yet he avoids your apartment for the next few days to give you space rather than backing away out of fear. He wants you to deal with your own anger. The silence he gives you almost makes you believe your threat scared him away. Are you safe? Did he actually listen to you? It feels like you can breathe again, but you should have known a guy this obsessed would never easily give up.

You should have known he would pull some tricks on you, like leaving a rose right on your kitchen counter. How the fuck did he even get inside again? You grab the flower and then throw it into the trash without a second thought. Dex watches you destroy his gift through the screen before he rubs a hand over his face in frustration. He can’t understand why you would do that, but he also loves pushing your buttons. Did you not like the flower he picked? Who wouldn’t like roses? It was the first flower he bought to test the waters since it was always a classic choice. He is a persistent guy, so he leaves more bouquets despite your refusal to acknowledge them. He knows it pisses you off, and he thrives on it even when every single one ends up in the garbage the second you find them.

He switches to tulips the next time he visits your place, but you don’t even try to smell them. Flowers are not cheap in this economy, yet he is willing to buy different kinds of flowers as gifts for you, only to see how mad you can get. His next choice is peonies because he hopes to figure out what will make you smile, or maybe he wants to see you snap again. What does he expect you to do? Thank him for stalking you? Write him a love letter? Those gifts might feel less threatening, but they invade your personal space. The way you ignore every delivery starts working, though, because it drives him crazy. He might be getting frustrated by you, but your fear starts to turn into pure annoyance. You hate yourself for starting to expect flowers waiting for you after a few weeks, and that makes you angry because he acts like a boyfriend instead of a stalker with crazy tendencies.

Why is he playing house with you? It makes your stomach churn that you have to check around out of habit to see what kind of flower he brought inside. You know what he’s doing, and he’s fucked to think he can train you to act like a pet waiting for a treat from its owner, but this time you refuse to let it happen. You are not dumb enough to ignore the break-ins, and you are tired of his shit. He’s wearing down your patience to the point where you’re considering hiring someone to replace the locks. You pay good money so that you can feel safe again, but replacing them does absolutely nothing. Dex picks the door in seconds, like he always does, before he leaves another bouquet on your kitchen table the next afternoon.

How is he doing this? Is your privacy a joke to him? Him picking the new lock pisses you off way more than the flowers do. He has no boundaries at all, and he wants you to know it. “You have got to be kidding me,” you groan out loud while tossing the fresh flowers into the trash. You start leaving hostile written messages scattered around the apartment knowing he will read them. You want him to know how much you despise his actions. You put notes on the fridge or the bathroom mirror out of spite to tell him how much you hate his presence. Dex collects every piece of paper you leave behind like he enjoys making you angry. He never leaves a written response to any of your notes because he wants to see how far your frustration will push you.

His responses come through actions instead, like leaving a basket of groceries on your counter or dropping off a new book you wanted. Does he think he is taking care of you? Is he treating you like a pet? You reach your breaking point when you open the fridge to find a new carton of milk he bought for you. The audacity makes you want to move away and live somewhere else. “Stop hiding like a coward!” you shout at the ceiling before grabbing a marker from the counter. You write a message telling him to show his face if he plans to continue entering your home because you are done playing his stupid game. Dex watches you slap the paper onto the fridge, and he smiles knowing you finally gave him the invitation he wanted.

His only response to your angry message is a short note left right on your bathroom mirror. It says ‘See you soon’ without any other explanation. You spend the next few weeks waiting for him to make a move. The first week is hell because every noise outside your apartment makes you think tonight is finally the night. You spend hours staring at the ceiling while wondering if he’s standing right outside your door. Your mind goes right back to how easily he got inside before every time you try to find some comfort, everything might be over. You even start looking inside your closet or pulling back the shower curtain every time you come home. How long can someone continue living like this before they finally lose it?

Nothing happens yet, but somehow that makes everything worse because it feels like you’re just waiting for him to show up. The lack of effort from him makes the anticipation worse. The paranoia drains your energy until you can barely hold your eyes open during the second week. You stop checking the door every few minutes because you’re too tired to continue doing it. All you could do was get through the day, then come home to an apartment that’s constantly messing with your head. That exhaustion lets your guard down when the third week passes without any new flowers or rearranged groceries. You convince yourself the note was just another way to scare you. Maybe he got bored and found someone else to mess with.

You actually think he gave up after you didn’t find any sign that someone got inside again. You slowly start to believe you’re alone again, so you don’t bother checking every corner of your bedroom before climbing into bed. You don’t even remember falling asleep because the next thing you know you’re staring up at your ceiling again when something wakes you up in the middle of the night. You don’t think anything of it at first because you’ve been waking up like this almost every night. Nothing bad ever happens when you wake up like this, so why would tonight be any different? You only wait there for a few seconds before pushing yourself up against the headboard to rub your eyes because all you want is to look around the room before going back to sleep.

Everything seems normal at first glance until you notice somebody sitting right at the edge of your bed. This can’t actually be happening right now. You instinctively yank the blanket up closer around yourself while staring at the intruder who somehow got past your door again. How the fuck did he get inside? It takes a few seconds for your brain to process who it is. The guy isn’t some random stranger because you recognize him from the supermarket. You shouldn’t even remember that awkward conversation about pineapples, yet everything suddenly makes sense. Everything leads back to him, and you try to process how long he has been waiting there watching you sleep. Dex doesn’t move closer to you or try to touch you.

He looks comfortable, as if being in your bedroom in the middle of the night were the most normal thing in the world. He doesn’t move from where he is to let you process the situation before he speaks. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he says calmly while he looks right at you. He notices the fear on your face before he tells you that he genuinely believes those words should reassure you. Those promises mean nothing coming from a man like him. You don’t find his reassurance comforting in the slightest bit because he already crossed every possible boundary long before he appeared in your bedroom. There isn’t a single part of this that is okay. What kind of logic makes him think those words are enough, after everything he’s already been through?

The audacity of his calmness sparks anger right beneath your fear. He already broke into your home to watch you sleep, so there is no excuse for this. “Get the fuck out of my apartment,” you demand while trying to steady your shaking voice as you point toward the bedroom door. You expect him to apologize for sneaking in, but he acts like this entire situation is normal. Dex ignores your order from the edge of the bed. “I’m one of the good guys,” he says calmly while watching your reaction. You let out a breath because you can’t believe a single word coming from a man who spent months stalking you. “Good guys don’t break into houses to watch people sleep,” you snap back at him while gripping the blanket.

The lack of guilt on his face makes you want to punch him since he honestly thinks he did nothing wrong. “Your intentions don’t matter after everything you already did, so prove it instead of expecting blind trust,” you say while maintaining your distance from him. Dex nods before reaching toward the waistband of his pants. You tense up because you genuinely think he’s finally about to attack you. He slowly pulls out the gun he brought with him instead. You expect him to aim it, but he places the firearm on the mattress right between the two of you. He gently nudges the pistol toward you so it sits closer to your hands. You stare at the object while trying to figure out his actual plan.

“Take it,” he says while he checks your face for a reaction. “If you really think I’m here to hurt you, then you should have something to stop me,” he explains while leaving his hands visible. He rests his palms against his thighs, so you know he isn’t grabbing anything else. This action is meant to reassure you, but it only reminds you that you have no idea what he is thinking. You hesitate to grab the pistol because every instinct tells you this is a bad idea. What if he just wants an excuse to hurt you? You eventually reach out to snatch the gun off the sheets before you can change your mind. You grip the handle tightly and point the barrel directly at his forehead without even thinking about it.

You expect him to dodge or hold his hands up in defense. Dex doesn’t flinch or argue with you at all. He doesn’t try to take the gun back either. You can feel the sweat forming on your palms while you hold the weapon up. He sits on the bed while you aim the firearm in his direction with shaking hands. You wait for him to do something while resting your finger right next to the trigger. The room is silent while Dex slowly scoots closer across the mattress instead of backing away from the gun. “Stop moving,” you warn him while tightening your grip on the pistol. He ignores your warning without acting aggressively at all. He moves forward until the barrel is only a few inches from his face. You push yourself harder against the headboard to get away from him.

He leans forward until his forehead touches the metal. He looks you straight in the eye without blinking. This gesture isn’t a bluff or some kind of challenge to him. Dex genuinely believes he’s proving he never intended to hurt you. You are dealing with someone whose mind works nothing like everyone else’s. “Shut the fuck up,” you warn him while pushing the barrel against his forehead. Dex doesn’t flinch away from the metal. “You’re not going to shoot me,” he says, and watches your expression. He talks like you hold a toy instead of a loaded gun. “You spent months leaving notes to make me show up,” he explains before pointing at the weapon. He believes those papers were an open invitation. “You wanted this as badly as I did,” he adds without a hint of fear.

You shake your head to shut down his twisted logic. “I wanted to know if I was going fucking crazy,” you snap back at him and push the gun harder against his skin. You insist you only left those messages to prove someone was breaking in. “I never wanted some creep inside my apartment,” you tell him while your chest heaves with every breath. Dex doesn’t look convinced by your anger. “We’ve been communicating for months already,” he argues like you two were exchanging friendly letters. He views the situation as a normal relationship instead of an invasion of your privacy. He ignores the weapon to bring up private details nobody else should know. “You’re a good writer,” he says, and looks into your eyes.

“Don’t bring that shit up,” you warn him while your finger twitches over the trigger. “I opened every document on that laptop because I wanted to know you,” he confesses while watching your face. You think he lies to get inside your head. “Even the drafts you never posted,” he adds before quoting a line from a scene where a character begs to be fucked on a desk. You never posted any of those drafts online, yet he knew the exact lines, so you realized he had really gone through your computer. Dex doesn’t stop there because he wants you to know what he does in your bedroom. “I read those stories way before you started leaving me notes,” he reveals while a smirk forms on his lips. He casually mentions how much he enjoyed reading your dirty drafts whenever he broke into your place.

You stare at him as you try to process the invasion of your privacy. “I didn’t expect you to write things like that,” he says before chuckling at your reaction. The way he talks about your personal files makes you feel exposed. “You have such a dirty mind,” he says without any shame. Dex finally lifts his hand from his thigh and reaches forward to touch your face. He brings his hand up to the back of your head while his thumb gently rubs your cheek. He slowly runs his fingers through your hair like he is trying to calm you down. You let the gun fall onto the mattress so you can place both hands against his chest to push him away. His body doesn’t move an inch when you shove him backward.

You try to push him a second time, but he ignores your effort. Your frustration boils over so you punch his chest before your hands grab handfuls of his shirt. “Get off me right now,” you demand while glaring up at him. Dex caresses your hair without acting bothered by your anger. “You can punch me all you want,” he says before he looks down at your hands. He tilts his head because he feels the anger radiating off your body. “I really don’t want to hurt you,” Dex promises while looking right into your eyes. You don’t believe a single word coming out of his mouth. He notices your doubt, so he tries to explain himself again. “I have no intention of harming you,” he insists while his voice sounds calm.

You want to scream because stalking is already a crime. “I never left any threats around the apartment,” he points out before defending his actions. He acts like unlocking your door is no big deal. He even reminds you of the times he fixed things around the apartment without asking for a thank-you. “I only ever left you flowers or groceries instead of anything dangerous,” he reminds you while his fingers massage your scalp. You know he is right about the gifts, but having a stranger inside your home is terrifying enough. You refuse to let him play the good guy. “You broke into my house,” you remind him while tightening your grip on his shirt. He nods slowly because he understands why you are so angry.

He knows you never asked for this situation, but he genuinely believes he is doing the right thing. You want to wipe that understanding look off his face so you insult him. “You’re just a lonely fucking loser,” you spit at him while hoping to finally piss him off. You try to find the cruelest thing to say. “You have no life so you have to stalk mine,” you add while watching for a reaction. Dex doesn’t look angry or offended by your words at all. He expects you to hate him so he accepts the insults without arguing back. He doesn’t think you should be grateful for his presence. “I know you hate me right now,” he replies while his hand continues stroking the back of your head. His voice sounds way too sincere for a home invader.

“But I just want to protect you from everyone else,” he explains like that justifies all his actions. His twisted reasoning baffles you. “What if some other guy found those stories on your laptop?” Dex asks before he scoffs at the thought. He shakes his head while imagining a different scenario. “Another guy would just force himself on you after reading all that,” he tells you while his fingers move softly against your scalp. He expects you to thank him for reading your computer. “You’re sick in the head,” you tell him because his reasoning is insane. Dex chuckles again while he stares down at your hands holding his shirt. He tilts his chin down to look at the space between your bodies.

“If I’m so sick, then why am I stopping you from calling the cops?” he asks without raising his voice at all. You look at your arms and realize he isn’t restraining you at all. “I’m not even holding you here by force,” he points out while his hands rest gently against your face and head. You hate to admit his trick actually works on you. He acts like you have full control over the situation, only to mess with your head. You know he could easily hurt you right now if he actually wanted to do it. “You think I believe that bullshit?” you ask him while your hands grip his shirt tighter. What kind of idiot would trust a man who breaks into homes because they think they’re protecting you? He’s playing a twisted game to see what you’ll do.

His claim that you can call the cops is obviously a lie. You know damn well he would run away, or you would end up dead long before the police ever arrived. He wants you to believe you hold all the power, but you know how dangerous he really is. “I promise you’re safe with me,” he whispers while his fingers move softly through your hair. The way he repeats he won’t hurt you messes with your head. He holds his other hand on your face as his thumb rubs your lower lip. You hate how your body reacts to him because you instinctively part your mouth without even meaning to. You end up breathing through your mouth the second your lips open under his thumb. “You have nothing to fear from me,” he tells you again like it’s the absolute truth.

The way he touches you makes your brain forget how messed up this whole thing is. It feels disturbing to experience something like this in reality. There are times you read books or watch movies about obsessed guys, but you never expected a stalker to actually show up in your bedroom. You always thought you would fight back or scream if this ever happened, yet here you are just letting him touch your face without doing a single thing to stop him, and it makes you feel pathetic. Dex watches your face carefully before he speaks again. “You call me lonely, but you’re exactly the same,” he points out while looking right into your eyes. He knows you spend all your time alone so you don’t have anyone else to take care of you.

He thinks you need him just because you don’t go out with friends every weekend. The pure arrogance in his voice makes you want to slap him. “I can take care of myself just fine,” you argue back before trying to turn your face away. He moves his hand with you to maintain his grip on your jaw. “You shouldn’t have to do it all by yourself,” he replies before he finally tests the waters. He slips his thumb past your parted lips to rest it directly against your tongue. You let out a muffled sound against his finger because you didn’t expect him to actually do that. His thumb tastes a little salty right on your tongue. You try to back away, but his fingers tighten in your hair to stop you from escaping, and you glare at him.

“I want to take care of you,” he adds while watching your chest rise with another deep breath. Dex uses his thumb inside your mouth and pushes it down on your tongue. The pad of his finger scrapes against your teeth before resting deep inside. You try to use your hands on his shirt to shove him away again. You want to scream at him to get out, but you can’t even form a word. He simply leans over you and uses his body weight to press you against the headboard. His chest pushes against your arms while his thumb stops you from speaking. “I really want to take care of you,” he whispers right to your face. He acts like having his fingers deep in your mouth is an ordinary part of the conversation. “You never let anyone else do it,” he adds as he watches your chest rise.

He looks you straight in the eye while you struggle to breathe around his hand. You try to swallow around his thumb, but the action makes your throat tighten uncomfortably. A muffled sound slips out before you can bite it back. You glare up at him with hatred right in your eye and want to look disgusted, but your body betrays your anger. The warmth of his hand on your face feels entirely too good, so your eyelids flutter shut for a second while a breath hitches in your chest. The involuntary reaction happens before you can even stop it. You open your eyes again to find him staring down at you. He watches your pupils dilate with a satisfied smirk on his face. You want to punch him for making you feel like this, and you hate that you just gave him what he wants.

He notices every reaction you try to hide from him, and he sees the exact moment your anger turns into something else. “Fuck,” Dex mutters under his breath as he takes in your expression. He sounds genuinely amazed by the way you react to him. “Look at you,” he whispers before a smirk forms on his face. He knows what he is doing to you, yet he points out how fast you gave up fighting him despite how much you claim to hate his guts. His arrogant tone makes you want to wipe that smirk away. You try to bite his thumb to erase that look off his face. Dex easily slides his finger deeper before your teeth can actually catch him. He pushes his thumb down harder on your tongue to force your mouth open again while his other hand grips your hair more firmly to tilt your head back.

The way he effortlessly pins you down against the headboard makes your stomach drop, and you feel fear with an unwanted thrill. You start to question whether you actually enjoy what he is doing to you right now. You wonder if you are really dumb enough to fold for a guy who broke into your apartment. A part of you wants to know if his gentle actions prove he won’t actually hurt you. Your brain struggles to process all these confusing thoughts at once. You should be fighting for your life, but your body wants more of his attention, and that’s when you realize you are leaning into his touch instead of pulling away. You look down and see how your hands are tangled in his shirt, and you’re no longer pushing him away from your body at all.

You clutch the fabric of his shirt while his hand rests firmly in your hair. Dex leans down until his lips almost brush against your ear. “Tell me to stop,” he whispers directly against your neck. He promises he will walk away forever if you just say the word. You know he would never actually let you go, and he wants you to admit you want this just as much as he does. He turns his head until his mouth grazes along your jawline. He slowly pulls his thumb out of your mouth to leave a wet string of saliva behind, and you let out a whine when he does that. He wipes his damp thumb on your top before his hand drops down to grab your waist tightly. “Tell me to quit leaving things and watching you,” he begs, like he actually needs your permission to leave.

He waits for your answer while his chest is inches away from yours. You don’t say a single word while your hand moves up from his shirt. You slide your fingers to the back of his head to gently caress his hair. You look at him and realize you don’t want him to leave even though you know he is crazy for doing all of those things in the first place, but having him right here feels better than being alone. Your hand moves from his hair down to his shoulder instead of bringing him into a kiss against the headboard. You push against his chest just enough to create some space between your bodies. You don’t tell him to stop or leave the apartment, but you finally make him back off. “Go get my laptop from the desk,” you tell him while pointing across the room.

Dex looks confused for a second because he clearly didn’t expect you to say that. He stands up anyway before walking over to grab the laptop. You crawl forward to sit right in the middle of the mattress while he has his back turned. You want him to realize you are not just going to roll over for him like he expects you to. He walks back over to the bed and hands the device over to you. You flip the screen open and log in before pushing it right back into his chest. “Open your favorite one,” you instruct him while watching his face. You know he has a preference after spending so much time snooping through your files. You want to see what kind of things he enjoys reading the most. “Read it out loud to me,” you tell him while pointing at the screen.

You challenge him directly to see if he can actually handle the words he claims to enjoy. You want to hear his voice saying those sentences. “Read the part you liked the most,” you add, so he has to make the choice himself. Dex actually hesitates for a second and gets flustered by your words. He just had you pinned against the headboard, but now he suddenly looks caught off guard. He tries to look at the screen instead of looking at your face. His fingers hesitate over the keyboard while he stares blankly at the folders. He just sits there in silence without clicking on a single file. You watch him struggle to type the title into the search bar. “Are you actually shy right now?” you ask him while leaning slightly closer to his face. You cannot believe the guy who broke into your house is suddenly struggling to speak.

You let out a short laugh because the role reversal is almost funny. “You had absolutely no problem sneaking into my apartment and watching me,” you point out while he refuses to look up. You remind him that he crossed every single boundary long before today. You make sure he realizes how stupid his hesitation looks. “You already read all of them behind my back,” you remind him while waiting for a reaction. You know he spent hours staring at your laptop while you were gone. “It’s pathetic you’re suddenly embarrassed to read them out loud,” you add while watching him swallow. He scoffs at your insult, but he finally starts typing the title of the story. He clicks the document open before scrolling down the page to find the specific paragraph.

He reads the words on the screen silently to himself for a few seconds. “Why do I even need to read this out loud?” Dex asks while focusing his eyes on the text. He tries to act unaffected while sitting right across from you. “It’s not like you’re actually going to let me fuck you like this,” he adds while pointing at the screen. He is obviously trying to provoke you so he can take control again. You might fall a little right into his game without even thinking about it. “I didn’t tell you we wouldn’t,” you answer back while looking right into his eyes. You don’t give him a clear yes-or-no, but the vague reply works perfectly. Dex smirks a little bit before he clicks the cursor at the top of the paragraph. He clears his throat and prepares to read your filthy words back to you.

Dex clears his throat before he glances up at you. He places the laptop onto the sheets right beside him so he can view the screen. He looks back down at the document as he prepares to read your words out loud. “He pushes her legs open to get a good look at her cunt,” Dex starts reading directly from your laptop. He sounds casual while saying filthy sentences. You stare at him because you can’t believe he actually said that without any shame. Hearing your own words spoken out loud makes your stomach drop. He reaches his free hand forward to grab your knee right after he finishes the line. You watch him push your legs apart while his eyes scan the next paragraph. Dex drops his eyes back to the screen while his hand grips your thigh.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he says while quoting the dialogue from the character. He uses a deeper voice so it sounds like he’s genuinely saying it to you. His hand sneaks up your leg before he rests his palm right between your thighs. You try to squeeze your legs shut, but his arm blocks you from moving. You part your lips when his knuckles brush against your sleep shorts. “His eyes can’t look away from between her legs,” Dex reads next while he looks right at your crotch. He looks where his hand cups right over your cunt. “Open wider for me,” Dex demands while pushing your knee further to the side. He doesn’t look at the laptop to say that part because he wants you to obey him right now.

You hate how easily your body listens, so you let your legs fall further apart. Dex smirks while watching you expose yourself to him. He drags his thumb right over the seam of your shorts to tease you. He looks satisfied before he glances back at the screen. “She begs him to touch her while her hips buck up against him,” he reads aloud as he moves closer to you. You try to close your legs, but he forces your knee back down. “Mm- stop it,” you complain while trying to grab his wrist. He easily dodges your hand before he pushes his palm firmly against your crotch. You try to squirm away on the mattress, but his grip on your thigh holds you where he wants you. He knows you want this even if you try to fight him off.

“I haven’t even read the best part yet,” he replies while his eyes look over the next few lines. He uses the heel of his hand to grind right against your cunt through the thin fabric of your sleep shorts. “Nngh-” you gasp out as he finds the right spot. He applies more pressure while rotating his hand around your cunt. You realize he plans to use your own story to turn you on while he touches you just like this. “You’ll take it so well for me,” Dex reads aloud while his palm rubs against your sleep shorts. He looks back at the screen before he continues reading the next paragraph. “He guides his thick cock right against her cunt and drags the head through all her wetness,” he quotes as he pushes his hand harder against your crotch.

You hate how good it feels against your body. “He teases her by sliding it up and down her folds without putting it inside, yet,” he finishes the sentence while staring right at your face. Your legs part then close involuntarily because he grinds the heel of his hand over your clit. “You’re dripping for me,” he adds while his hand rests right between your thighs. You know what you wrote on that laptop. You know you never typed that specific line he just said. “You just made that part up,” you accuse him while trying to control your breathing. You glare at him because he just twisted your own words. “Maybe I did,” he answers back with a smug look on his face. He clearly enjoys seeing you get so defensive about it.

“It fits the situation,” he argues back before he pushes his palm firmer against your crotch. The unexpected pressure makes you grab a handful of his shirt. “I can already feel the dampness soaking right through your clothes,” he tells you with a smirk. You honestly have no idea if he’s bluffing or telling the truth. He continues reading the filthy scene to tease you. “He pulls her hips backward so he gets a clear view of her wet cunt before he lines his cock up,” he reads aloud while watching your reaction. You try to look away, but his eyes follow your every movement. “He pushes the tip right against her cunt and slowly slides his entire length inside,” he recites while grinding the heel of his hand against your shorts.

You feel worked up by his touch, and making him read the story out loud was supposed to give you the upper hand. You wanted to make him embarrassed, but the plan backfired since he’s the one touching you. He clearly enjoys having control over you right now. He scrolls down the document to skip to the part he loved the most in what you wrote. “He forces her onto all fours so he can finally take her from behind,” Dex recites while his thumb finds your clit through the fabric. You gasp out loud when he circles the sensitive spot. “His hands grab her hips tightly to hold her in place on the mattress,” he continues reading as he grinds his palm right over your center. “He pulls his cock almost all the way out before slamming it back deep into her cunt,” he quotes aloud before pushing down harder against your shorts.

He watches your hips buck slightly upward to meet his palm. “He fucks her from behind without giving her a single second to recover,” he reads next while he moves his palm faster against your shorts. You try to squeeze your thighs shut, but his arm blocks your legs from closing. “He shoves his cock inside her cunt repeatedly until she screams for him to fuck her harder,” he finishes the paragraph while his thumb circles your clit. You hate that he knows how to get you so worked up. “Nn- your reading voice fucking sucks,” you insult him to hide how good he makes you feel. You try to sound annoyed, but your body betrays your words. He just chuckles at your pathetic attempt to insult him while he continues to torture you with his hand.

“Then why are you grinding right against my hand?” he asks as you involuntarily push your hips up into his palm. You realize he’s right since your body reacts to every single movement he makes. “Hah- shut up,” you gasp out when his thumb pushes down harder. He loves watching you lose your mind over his fingers. “Mm-” you complain instead of giving him a real answer. Your hands grip the bedsheets instead of actually shoving him off. “Do you want me to stop reading now?” he questions while his hand continues working between your legs. He knows you won’t tell him to stop because you want him to touch you. “Did you finally prove your point?” he asks to remind you that your little plan failed.

You reach forward to push the laptop screen down so he finally stops reading your writing. “Shut up, and do something,” you demand while glaring up at him from the mattress. Dex looks at the closed laptop before he grabs it off the sheets. He leaves his spot on the bed to place the device safely on the floor. “You want me to take your clothes off?” he asks as he turns back around to face you. He sounds almost surprised by your unexpected change in attitude. “Why don’t you do it yourself?” you challenge him before you scoot right to the edge of the mattress. You lift both of your arms in the air and wait for him to make a move. He lets out a short chuckle while looking down at your raised arms.

“Are you really going to make me work for it?” he questions before he takes a step closer to your legs. You know he wants you, so you make him prove it. He clearly enjoys the new challenge. “Is it too hard for you to just do it?” you ask sarcastically while holding your arms up high. Dex scoffs at your attitude before his hands grip the bottom hem of your top. He pulls the fabric over your head and then tosses it somewhere across the dark room. It feels absurd to ask the guy who stalks you to undress you, yet you don’t even try to cover up. You aren’t wearing a bra since you just woke up from catching him staring at you earlier, so your breasts are exposed to him. He looks at your chest before he instinctively reaches a hand out to touch you.

You lean away from him so his fingers grasp nothing but air. You drop your hands down to his belt, but you stop trying to undo the buckle when he tries to touch you again. “Fuck- sorry,” Dex mutters while he pulls his hand back fast. He clearly didn’t expect you to avoid his touch so fast. “I just wanted a feel,” he tries to explain himself while looking down at your exposed body. He sounds a little desperate as he looks you over. You can see how much your body distracts him right now. “They look really good,” he adds while his attention refuses to leave your chest. You roll your eyes at his pathetic excuse before you grab the front of his pants. You pull him closer by the waistband so he stands right between your parted knees.

“I know I look good,” you reply with a scoff as your fingers struggle with his belt. You enjoy watching him lose his composure. He usually takes whatever he wants, but right now he just stands there with his hands at his sides. “That’s why you stalked my apartment,” you point out before you go back to working on his zipper. Dex watches you fumble with his pants before he grabs the bottom of his own shirt to pull it over his head. “Yeah, maybe you’re just a stupid good-looking girl who is about to get into bed with her stalker,” he argues back as he throws his shirt onto the floor. He watches you take way too much time trying to unbutton his pants. He eventually slaps your hands away so he can do it himself.

“Let me do it,” he mutters before he quickly undoes the belt and shoves his jeans down his legs. He steps heavily out of the denim without bothering to take off his boots and kicks the fabric aside while he leaves his boxers in place. You just sit there on the edge of the bed and stare up at his body. He actually looks incredibly good standing there in front of you. You wonder why a guy like him would ever choose to be a stalker. He could easily find a normal girl to fuck him instead of breaking into apartments at night. It’s a very stupid idea to sit here half-undressed, but your gut tells you he isn’t going to hurt you. You never planned to let things go this far tonight, but your thoughts scatter when his hands grab the waistband of your sleep shorts along with your panties.

“You’re staring at me,” Dex points out as his thumbs slip under the elastic band. You look up at his face to find him watching you. The corners of his mouth turn upward into a smirk. “No- I’m not,” you lie while shaking your head to make up a random excuse. Your face heats up because he caught you checking him out. “I was just thinking about something else,” you add while trying to look away from his stomach. Dex makes a sound of agreement before he nods like he believes your lie. “I want to take these off,” he tells you while his thumbs hook under the elastic. You give him a small nod, and he starts sliding the fabric down. You lift your hips off the bed to help him push the clothes past your waist. Dex takes a step backward between your knees as he drags the shorts and panties down to your ankles.

He grabs the garments before tossing them somewhere across the bedroom. He holds your knees and pushes your thighs apart to get a better look at you. He takes a breath while his eyes stare directly between your legs. He licks his lips like he is hungry for what he sees. “I honestly don’t know what to do first,” Dex admits while his hands rest firmly on your knees. He traces his thumbs over your kneecaps. “I don’t know if I want to use my mouth or just-” He cuts himself off while looking back up at your face. His eyes trail downward when you try to close your legs, but he firmly prevents you from moving. “You’d better figure it out fast before I change my mind,” you scoff at him while shifting slightly on the mattress.

You feel vulnerable, but you refuse to let him know it bothers you. “I might just kick you out then file a restraining order,” you warn him with a small chuckle. Dex shakes his head right away while his hands slide up your thighs. “There’s no need to do that,” he replies as he steps closer to your open legs. You cross your arms over your chest when another thought crosses your mind. “Do you even have a condom?” you ask him since you expect some basic protection. Dex stops moving entirely as a confused look takes over his face. “What?” he questions before leaning forward until his mouth hovers right next to your ear. He wants to make sure you hear him clearly. You feel his chest brush against your crossed arms.

“I’m not using a condom with you,” he whispers right next to your ear. He sounds offended that you even asked. “I want to feel every part of you,” he adds while you feel his warm breath brush over your neck. You lean your head back to give him an annoyed look. “What if you aren’t clean?” you ask him while dropping your arms to rest your hands on the mattress. You take something to prevent pregnancy, but you worry about everything else. “I don’t want to catch anything,” you tell him directly as you glare up at his face. Dex looks offended by your assumption. He lets go of your thighs and places his hands firmly on your hips instead. “Do you seriously think I have time to sleep around with anyone else?” he asks with an insulted tone.

He glares back at you to show how much the question bothers him. He wants you to realize how devoted he is. “I don’t even look in another woman’s direction,” he defends himself while his fingers dig into your waist. He hates the idea of you picturing him with another girl. “You’re the only person I want,” he reminds you as he uses his hands to drag your hips against his thighs. You roll your eyes at his words before you look him up and down. You notice he is wearing his shoes even though he is standing there in nothing but his underwear. You let out a small chuckle while looking back up at his face. “You want to do all these things to me, but you have your shoes on?” you ask him with a teasing tone. You point out how funny he looks standing in your bedroom with his shoes on.

“Are you really going to fuck me in just your boxers and your shoes?” you add to mock him a little more. Dex looks down at his feet before he lets out a short scoff. “I didn’t even realize,” he admits as he steps back from your knees. He bends down to remove his boots before he kicks them across the floor. He stands back up to face you again. You reach forward to grab the elastic waistband of his boxers. You use the fabric to pull him right back between your parted knees. You drag the material down just enough so you can see the base of his cock. You want to see if he understands the clear hint you are giving him. Dex watches your hands for a second before his own fingers take over the job. He shoves your hands away so he can strip the underwear off.

He kicks the fabric aside until he stands naked in front of you. You stare at his hard cock while he steps even closer to the mattress. He doesn’t give you any time to speak before his hands grab your shoulders. Dex pushes you backward so you lie down on the mattress. You were sitting right on the edge, so your legs ended up dangling off the bed. He steps into the open space between your thighs. Your legs naturally fall to rest against his sides while he stands over you. He takes up all the space right between your parted knees as he looks down at your exposed body. “You look so fucking good like this,” he tells you while checking your reaction. He watches your chest rise and fall before his eyes drop lower to get a perfect view of your cunt.

Dex brings one hand up to gently touch your thigh. His fingers trail slowly up your leg before moving across your stomach. He continues the path upward to drag his hand over your breast. You wonder if he can feel your racing heartbeat under his palm. His hand feels incredibly hot against your body. You take a deep breath when his fingers travel up your shoulder to caress your neck. You watch his eyes track every single movement of his hand over your chest. It makes your stomach drop because he looks captivated by you. You want to ask him to hurry up, but your throat feels dry. He finally cups your cheek while his thumb rubs right over your cheekbone. His other hand reaches down to wrap firmly around his cock.

He guides the head right against your wet folds to coat himself in your slick. He rubs his length back and forth across your wet cunt. “Fuck- feels nice,” Dex mutters out as he feels the dampness between your legs. He pushes the broad tip right against your cunt to tease you a little more. You lift your hips upward because you desperately want him inside. “Nngh- j-just- put it in,” you whine back while your hands grab the bedsheets tightly. Dex pushes the head of his cock inside you while his hand caresses your cheek. His thumb brushes your face as he slowly slides deeper. He thrusts into your cunt very carefully, like he fears he might hurt you. You lie directly against the mattress without any pillows beneath your head.

He finally pushes all the way in before he closes his eyes. “Shit,” he grunts as he buries himself deep inside your body. Your toes curl when his thick cock fills you out. You bend your knees to wrap your legs securely around his waist. He drops his free hand down to hold your hip firmly. Dex slowly slides out and then pushes right back into your cunt. He watches your chest bounce every time he moves inside you. “You look so good taking me,” he tells you while staring down at your body. “Ah- hah- just go deeper,” you whine, but he refuses to thrust faster. He wants to watch your body react so he doesn’t speed up at all. He takes his time sliding in and out of your wet folds. You reach up with one hand to hold the wrist he has near your face.

Your other hand drops down to rest directly over your stomach. You grind your hips upward right when he pushes deep inside you. “Nngh- such a loser,” you insult him while pushing back against his cock. You clench your cunt tightly around him. “Mmph- yeah?” Dex questions as his jaw clenches. You can tell your degrading words affect him more than he wants to admit. You squeeze your cunt around him again just to mess with his head. His nails dig right into your hip. Dex moves his hand away from your cheek so he can reach the back of your head. He tangles his fingers into your hair to hold your head down on the mattress. “But you love having this loser inside you,” he reminds you while his hand tightens on your hair.

The look in his eyes proves he dropped the gentle act. “Hngh- god-” you gasp out when he thrusts much harder into your cunt. He stops worrying about hurting you and just starts fucking you how he wants to. You scratch your nails across his wrist to stop him from going so deep. “Nn- don’t do it so hard,” you complain while your heels plant firmly against his back. Dex hums in agreement to trick you, but he immediately does the exact opposite. He pulls his cock out until only the tip rests inside your cunt before he thrusts his entire length back inside you. He knows he acts like an asshole right now, yet he refuses to stop. His fingers tangle more firmly through your hair because he just needs something to hold onto while he fucks you.

“Mm- s-stop being so rough,” you gasp out as your eyes roll back. Dex ignores your demand since he likes feeling your cunt clench around him. He moves his hand away from your hip so he can reach up to grope your breast. He thinks about how long he waited to finally touch you. Having you right here feels better than he ever imagined. He pinches your nipple right between his fingers to make you squirm under him. Dex feels satisfied as he finally touches the person he stalked for months. He knows he crossed every boundary to get here, but he honestly doesn’t regret a single thing. He used only to watch you walk around this bedroom through the hidden cameras he planted behind your furniture.

Now he gets to see everything right in front of his own eyes while he pushes his cock in and out of your cunt. Having you respond to him is what he wanted. “Fucking creep- ahhn- you’re so messed up,” you degrade him while your other hand rests directly over your stomach. Dex knows you only say those insults because you feel stupid for sleeping with your stalker. “You think I care what you call me when you wrap your legs around me like this?” Dex asks while he feels your toes curl against his lower back. He knows you are conflicted about this situation, but your body tells him what you actually want. You part your mouth to gasp when he hits that specific spot deep inside you. He knows what kind of pace gets you going.

The degrading names you use only make him want to go harder. Your nails naturally dig harder into his arm the deeper he goes. “Hah- shut up- mmph!” you whine back while scratching your fingers over your stomach. He chuckles at your pathetic attempt to insult him because your moans give you away. The way you react to him actually mesmerizes him enough to make him slow his pace down. Slowing his pace gives him time to take in every detail of your face, as he wants to memorize how you look when he takes you. Seeing you take him so well satisfies him even while he thinks it is funny how you try to act tough. You notice his head tilting downward to watch his cock slide in and out of your entrance.

He wonders if you enjoy looking at the sight of your bodies moving together just as much as he does. You see his eyes move from your stomach right back up to your chest. He thinks you look perfect like this and wants to burn this exact image into his memory. Staring openly at the breast he gropes makes him consider using his mouth on you instead before he watches your other breast bounce with every single movement he makes. Knowing he has your full attention pleases him because he genuinely enjoys making you feel so flustered. You notice him looking right at your face next, yet you fail to figure out what goes on inside his head. “Nngh- what are you looking at?” you ask because his constant staring bothers you.

You hate how he always studies you without explaining himself. You want him to speak up instead of being so quiet. Dex ignores your question and stops moving his cock inside you. He keeps staring right into your eyes while he slides his hands from the back of your head to your shoulders. He pulls you up from the mattress until you sit upright on the edge of the bed. Your legs are already wrapped around his waist while you naturally reach out to grab his shoulders for balance. “Hold onto me,” Dex commands before he slides his hands down your sides. He places his hands on your waist to hold you in place. He starts pushing his cock in and out of your cunt again. You hold his shoulders tightly so you don’t fall backward while he fucks you.

“Nngh- why can’t we just do it in one position?” you complain about him moving you around too much. Dex ignores your whining before he leans forward to bury his face into your neck. He lets his mouth touch your collarbone while his hands hold your waist firmly. He pushes his cock deep into your cunt as he brings his lips right next to your ear. “I just want to create every position you wrote,” Dex whispers directly into your ear while he shoves his cock inside you. Your cunt squeezes tight around his cock right after he says those words. Hearing his plan brings a rush of pleasure to your body. You think about what position comes next to fucking you while sitting like this. You wonder if he plans to flip you over the bed to fuck you on your stomach.

Dex bites down on your shoulder before he grunts against your neck to hide a whimper. He pulls his cock almost all the way out before shoving it back in. He likes the way your body responds to his twisted ideas. “Do you like that?” Dex asks as he feels your cunt clench around him. He wants to know if you enjoy the idea of having him in all those different positions. “Hah- s-shut- fuck-” you gasp out while your back arches. You hate how his crazy obsession actually turns you on. He chuckles softly at your denial because your actions contradict your words. He lets you dig your nails into his shoulder while his hands squeeze your waist tighter. Dex kisses your collarbone while he shoves his cock inside you.

He gets too caught up in the pleasure to filter his thoughts. He loves having you right here instead of just watching you through a monitor. “Mhm... You look so much better than the scre-” Dex stutters against your neck before he forces his mouth shut. He almost exposed the hidden cameras he planted around your home. He bites his bottom lip to stop himself from ruining the moment with a stupid mistake. You place both hands on his chest to shove him away from your neck so you can look at his face. “Ahhn- what were you going to say?” you ask while narrowing your eyes at him. You know he hides things from you. Dex slows his movements down so he can think of a lie while his hands caress your waist.

“Come on- it’s nothing,” Dex replies as he gives you a sloppy excuse to brush off your question. “I just meant you look better than I imagined,” he adds to cover his tracks. You want to question him more, but he refuses to give you the chance to speak. Dex leans forward again to bury his face against your chest this time. He takes your nipple into his mouth to suck on it hard. “Hah- wait-” you gasp out as his teeth bite down. He takes one hand off your ribs to slide it down between your bodies. He finds your clit before he starts rubbing it with his thumb. He uses it to his advantage to make you forget what he just said to you. Your hands move up from his chest to grab his hair while he works your clit.

He rubs his thumb over the sensitive spot as he continues moving in and out of your cunt. “Oh god- nngh- right there,” you whine out while your hips buck upward against his hand. Dex swirls his tongue over your nipple before he grazes his teeth over the tip. He moves his mouth away about an inch to kiss your breast before he goes right back to sucking hard on the peak. He thinks about how long he craved this exact taste while the soft whimpers you make only encourage him to bite down harder. He wants to leave a mark you will feel for days. Dex moves his face over to give the other side the same attention. You grip his hair firmly before you lean your head down to nuzzle your face right into his sweaty hair. “Mm- you really like it there,” you whisper while your hips buck up against his hand.

He feels right at home against your body, and having your hands all over him feels better than anything else. He knows he would never change a single thing if he could go back to the moment he first saw you at the supermarket. His therapist used to tell him his moral compass was never broken, but he just needed someone to guide him. He realizes now you are that person, but he never expected things to get this far. He was only supposed to watch you from a distance without making contact, and he never wanted you to find out he was stalking you. You were just too smart for him to hide from you. You played a clever game to expose him, and he fell right into it. His thumb slows down over your clit because he gets distracted by your breast.

He wonders if you notice how easily you affect everything he does, even with the way you arch into his touch. You can feel his cock twitching deep inside your cunt, and the feeling makes your breath hitch. The bed creaks loudly underneath you every time he shoves his cock in and out of you. “Ahhn- right there- fuck-” you moan out as the heat builds up between your bodies, and sweat drips down your chest. Everything he does pushes you closer to your limit, especially with how he moves fast before he goes slow. Dex grunts from the sensation while he continues to use his thumb to circle and rub your clit. It makes your toes curl while you struggle to catch your breath. “Hah- god- right there-” you whine while your cunt squeezes around his cock. Your nails dig into his scalp as the pleasure builds up because you want him to push you over the edge instead of just teasing you.

He sucks harder on your nipple, and you tilt your head back when his cock finds your g-spot. “Hah- god- I’m getting so close,” you pant out while your hips buck upward. Dex finally moves his mouth away from your breast so he can watch your reaction. You bury your face right into his chest because you refuse to let him look at you. You turn into a moaning mess against him as the pleasure brings you right to the edge. He hates it whenever you try to hide from him when he wants to see every single expression you make. “Nn- please,” you whine directly against his collarbone. He loves hearing you beg for him. He removes his hand from your clit before he uses that same hand to push your body away from his chest.

He pushes you back just enough to see your face properly. “Stop hiding from me,” Dex commands as he forces you to look at him. His hand moves up to the back of your head to tilt it backward while his other hand slides from your waist down to your hip. He enjoys the feeling of holding you in place while he fucks you when you look exactly how he always pictured you. You can’t help but part your mouth when you moan before you close your eyes, and you can feel your clit pulsing without his touch. Your cunt clenches around his cock while he watches your expression carefully before a smirk forms on his lips. He knows how to push you over the edge, and he loves knowing he causes this kind of reaction in you.

He leans down a little closer to your face to spit right into your open mouth. “Mm- hah-” you gasp out in surprise as the spit lands on your tongue. You open your eyes in surprise since you never expected him to do something like that. Your face heats up with embarrassment even though you actually enjoy what he did. His spit inside your mouth makes your cunt clench hard around his cock to the point he slows his pace down before he stops moving his hips entirely when you start cumming. His cock throbs inside you, and you tremble against him. He holds your hair and your hip firmly to brace himself. Dex closes his eyes while his mouth parts, but he quickly bites down on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from being too loud. “Ahhhnn- fuck- Dex-” you whine out as you finish around his cock.

“I know,” Dex whispers while his hand moves to caress your back. He takes his hands off your hip and head before he unwraps your legs from his waist. He steps back to slide his cock out of your body. He wonders if you have any idea how much he loves the mess he makes out of you. He watches how puffy your cunt looks right after you finish, and he stares at how your clit pulses while your cum trails down your skin. You feel glad he backed away because your chest heaves as you catch your breath. You suddenly remember he hasn’t cum yet, but he grabs your arms before you can bring it up to force you to stand up. He turns you around to face the bed before he pushes you down onto your stomach. You react quickly by crawling forward until you get on all fours so your legs finally make it onto the mattress.

“Hah- what are you doing?” you complain while he climbs onto the bed right behind you. You hate how he always catches you off guard. His unpredictable behavior frustrates you to no end. “Shh- I told you we’d do another position from what you wrote,” Dex replies as he places a pillow under your stomach. He grabs a second pillow to put it directly beneath your face. You look over your shoulder with a pissed expression, but you look forward to what he plans to do next. “I haven’t cum, yet,” Dex states while his hand finds its way to your hip. His other hand reaches down to guide his cock right against your cunt. He easily slides inside you because you are so slippery from your own cum. “You don’t want to give me blue balls, right?” he asks while looking down at your back. His tone sounds more like a warning than a genuine question. He knows how much you crave his attention.

“Nngh- wait- I’m too s-sensi-” you try to say before his actions cut your words off. He shoves all the way in without any warning while his guiding hand moves up to hold your waist. “Ahhn- I just came- Dex,” you whine out while trying to adjust to his size. Your words tick him off enough to make him drag his cock out to the tip before he slams back in whole. “Well, I didn’t,” Dex grunts while he hits you deep inside. You stop looking over your shoulder to let your face hover inches above the pillow. You don’t care if your eyes close or if your mouth hangs open while he fucks you relentlessly. “I know I could finish in your mouth,” Dex says as he continues thrusting behind you.

Your hands grip the bedsheets while your toes curl against the mattress. “Mmph- then why didn’t you?” you ask him between breaths.

Dex shoves his cock deeper into your cunt before he leans his chest over your back. He uses his body weight to push your torso down against the stomach pillow. “There is nothing comparable to this,” he answers while he fucks you harder. You know he plans to take a lot more from you until you tire out. You aren’t against the idea because you actually look forward to it. Experiencing this kind of thing usually only happens when you read other people’s writing or your own stories. You never expected you’d end up getting fucked in so many different ways tonight. It feels like a win since it all happens right here in your bed. Your body manages to take every inch of him while the deep friction makes you gasp into the sheets.

His weight presses heavily against your back. The firm pressure holds you down and securely pins you to the mattress. Your face rests against the top pillow while your stomach pushes into the second one as his cock goes in and out of you. “Mmmff- hah- oh god-” your moans get muffled into the sheets from the way his body pins you down. Dex places one hand on your hip while his other hand reaches around to grab your side. You hear the loud sound of flesh slapping together whenever he thrusts his hips forward. You can also feel his balls hitting against your ass with every single movement he makes. It feels degrading to take him like this, but the sensation of his cock sliding over your cunt only turns you on more.

You find it embarrassing to admit how much you enjoy every dirty thing he does to you. “God, you feel amazing,” Dex grunts while he buries himself as deep as he can go. He knows how to use his heavy pressure to get the hardest reactions out of you. He leans his head down so his lips brush right against your shoulder blade. Dex eventually gets careless, and he realizes that the moment he opens his mouth to brag about what he saw on his monitors. “That guy from last month couldn’t even hit your spot like I do when he f-fucked you-” Dex stutters before he forces himself to shut up. He realizes he almost exposed his hidden cameras again, so he punishes himself for his sloppy mistake by biting down hard on your back.

“Ahhn- god- right there,” you whine out as the feeling of his teeth makes your cunt squeeze around his cock. Dex loves the way your cunt takes him, so he just lets himself continue fucking you into the mattress while he leaves bite marks all over your shoulder. You don’t even care about his confession because you are too exhausted to process what he says. He gives you back a few more bites before he stops leaning his weight over you. He raises himself to kneel right behind you. He grabs your hips to pull them higher so your lower back arches while your ass sticks up in the air. He raises his hand up before he slaps your ass roughly. The loud smack of flesh echoes through the room right before his fingers dig firmly back into your hip.

“Mm! Y-yes,” you gasp out while your nails scratch at the bedsheets. Dex groans loud enough for you to hear as he matches his fast pace with your needy sounds. He knows he can last for hours since he waited so long for this exact moment. Dex moves his free hand to your ass to squeeze it. Your chest rests against the bed while the side of your face lies on the pillow. You try to push your upper body off the mattress to get on all fours again. Your arms shake instantly when you try to lift your weight up. You feel too weak to hold yourself up, so you fall right back down to where you started. Dex chuckles loudly at your pathetic attempt to move. “Aww, poor girl can’t even support her own weight,” he mocks you while rubbing his hand over your ass cheek.

You let out a frustrated huff into the pillow since you hate it when he makes fun of you. He slides his hand under your stomach to help you out. “Bring yourself up,” Dex commands as he lifts your torso away from the bed. You try again with his help until you manage to get on your knees. He moves you all the way back so your back rests directly against his chest. He wraps his arm securely around your waist to hold you upright. You reach your hands out to hold onto his forearm for balance. “Good girl,” Dex praises you awkwardly because he never usually says things like that. He pushes his cock into your cunt to test how this new position feels. “Does this feel okay for you?” Dex asks while he thrusts his hips slowly behind you.

You want to adjust a little bit so you look towards the top of the bed. “Mm- let’s move closer to the headboard,” you suggest while leaning back against him. He nods before he takes his cock out of your cunt. He uses his free hand to remove your fingers from his arm. He guides you forward, so you both scoot across the mattress on your knees. It only takes a few short movements until your hands find their way to the headboard. You lean forward to rest your chest against the pillows stacked against the wood. Dex whistles at the sight of you bent over the headboard. He loves how you arch your back for him to fuck.

He raises his hand to slap your ass hard enough to leave a loud smack in the room. “Ah!- Dex,” you yelp out while your fingers curl around it. He grabs your hips firmly before he slides his cock right back inside your cunt. He starts thrusting deep into you again while you adjust to his size. “Too many interruptions tonight,” Dex whispers right near your ear as if he wants to taunt you. He knows he causes all the delays, but he loves acting like an asshole to annoy you. You clench your cunt tight around his cock on purpose to stop him from thrusting. You hate his arrogant attitude right now. “Ahhn- so are you telling me I’m an interruption?” you ask while looking over your shoulder to glare at him. The way your cunt squeezes makes it hard for him to move his hips.

“Fuck- wait- ngh,” Dex groans behind you as the tight squeeze makes his cock throb deep inside you. He easily folds because he knows he needs to play nice with you. You are literally offering him what he wants tonight. Anyone else would have pulled the trigger of that gun you held against his forehead earlier. He knows he is lucky you decided to fuck him instead of shooting him. He struggles to catch his breath while his cock pulses inside you. He hates losing control, but he hates the idea of you stopping even more. He doesn’t know how to process his emotions properly, so he struggles to find the right words to say. “I’m sorry- just stop doing that,” Dex whispers awkwardly while his fingers squeeze your hips.

He never apologizes to anyone, but he acts desperate to continue fucking you. “Nngh- please let me move,” he begs you while resting his forehead against your back. He tries to convince you to stop squeezing so he can reach his orgasm. He knows he sounds pathetic, but he only wishes that you would let him have it his way. You listen to his clumsy apology for a moment before you stop clenching his cock purposely. You grind your ass back against him to let him know he earned your mercy. You push your body directly into his crotch to make him take the hint. “Mm- you better behave then,” you warn him as you let him slide all the way in. Dex takes a deep breath before he starts moving his hips slowly behind you.

His hands squeeze your hips to balance you against the headboard. “Fuck- you feel so good,” Dex grunts out while he pushes deep into your cunt. The slow pace feels amazing as he hits every sensitive spot inside you. You let your eyes close while your fingers wrap securely around the wood. He eventually speeds up his thrusts once he realizes you aren’t going to stop him again. He slides his cock almost out before he shoves it back inside your cunt. “Ahhhnn- right there,” you moan loudly into the pillows while your back arches for him. Dex watches the way your spine curves while he fucks you from behind. He loves the way your body responds to everything he does. “God- you take it so well,” he groans out while his thumbs rub over your hip.

He makes sure to hit your g-spot with every single thrust so you forget about his cocky words. You bite your bottom lip to stop yourself from being too loud in the room. He just continues fucking you until your legs start trembling against the mattress. Dex closes his eyes while his hips move in a careless manner behind you. He pushes his cock deep into your cunt before he grinds his hips against your ass. He pulls out to the tip to take a few seconds to breathe. He shoves back inside you when you expect it the least. “Fuck- you take me so perfectly,” Dex whispers out while he forces himself inside you. He doesn’t know the exact right words to say, but he wants to give you a genuine compliment. “You are so good to me,” he grunts as he slides against your g-spot with every thrust.

He stops moving for a few seconds every time he buries his cock deep inside your body. You grind your ass back against him to help him out because you want him to continue. “Hah- don’t stop- nn,” you whine out to urge him forward. Dex feels the way you push back against him while his cock pulses inside your cunt. He connects your needy movements to how close you are to another orgasm. He loves seeing you get so desperate for his cock when you’re right on the edge. You look over your shoulder to see what he does behind you. You find his head tilted back as he shuts his eyes tightly. You actually think he looks gorgeous like this even though you hate admitting it. You let go of the headboard with your right hand so you can reach backward.

You try to find his arm while he starts thrusting his hips again. Your fingers brush against his forearm to get his attention. “Mm- Dex,” you gasp out while your hand slides down his wrist. Dex opens his eyes the moment he feels your fingers touch his arm. He leans closer to your back so he can place his hand right beside yours. He easily intertwines his fingers with yours before he brings your hand forward to secure it against the headboard. “Shit- wait,” Dex curses loudly because that simple touch pushes him right over the edge. He thrusts his hips much faster while he fucks you without any mercy. “Fuck- I’m going to-” he whispers directly against your ear as his pace gets rougher. You feel his cock burying deep inside you every time he thrusts his hips forward.

You realize you can’t hold back your own orgasm when he moves this fast. “Ah!- y-yes- fuck,” you stutter out while you brace yourself against the wood. Dex shoves into you a few more times before he finishes deep inside your cunt. “God-” he grunts out as he unloads his cum right into you. Your body reacts to his climax like a switch flips in your brain to make your walls squeeze tight around his cock. You feel sensitive from the overstimulation, while the warm feeling of being filled makes you melt into the mattress. It feels stupid to let him finish inside you, but you refuse to stop him since it feels too good. He moves his chest away from your back to stand up straight on his knees before he lets go of your hand to hold your hip.

Both of his hands grab your hips to hold you in place while he slowly thrusts back inside you. He watches the way both of your cum coats his cock with every slow movement to see the mess he made. He never misses anyway, so seeing his load deep inside your cunt makes him feel proud. He loves watching how messy he left you tonight. Dex looks down at your body to check on you while his hips push forward. You are slumped against the stacked pillows with your arms hugging them tightly. Your ass arches up in the air for him, but your face buries into the fabric. “How do you feel?” Dex asks you while he rubs his thumbs over your hip bones. You feel too exhausted to form a proper sentence, so you shake your head at his question.

He raises his eyebrow at your silent response before he decides to ask you again. “Are you going to answer me?” he asks as he slowly drags his cock out of your body. You let out a long breath when you feel him leave your cunt empty. “Tired,” you mumble into the pillows. He chuckles at your honest answer because he knows he wore you out tonight. Dex looks over at the clock on your nightstand before he moves away from your back. He crawls up the mattress to sit right beside your head so he can lean back against the headboard. “Lie down flat,” Dex tells you while he helps guide your body onto your stomach. You follow his instructions so you can rest your body while hugging the pillow under your face.

He puts his hand right on your lower back to caress you slowly. He feels the sweat under his palm from how hard you worked tonight. You have your arms wrapped tight around the soft fabric because you feel exhausted. “Mm- it feels so late,” you whine into the pillow even though you never checked the time. Dex agrees with you before he moves his hand up from your back to reach your head. He gently caresses your head to comfort you. “It’s 4:23 in the morning,” he casually tells you while he continues petting you. You have no idea how long you actually had sex with him tonight. It feels like a lifetime has passed since he first pinned you to the mattress. You don’t even know what time you originally woke up to find him watching you sleep.

He probably stood in the dark corner for hours before he made his presence known. The terrifying thought should bother you, but his gentle touches make you feel stupidly safe instead. You realize you have no clue how long he has actually been inside your house. You adjust your head so you can turn your face towards his direction. Your cheek rests against the pillow now so you aren’t hiding your face from him anymore. You look up at him while he sits there looking comfortable in your bed. “You look like you plan to stick around,” you point out sarcastically as you narrow your eyes at him. He acts like he owns the place right after he finishes fucking you. He looks way too relaxed for a guy who broke in just a few hours ago.

You hate how easy he makes this look. Dex scoffs at your comment before he takes his hand away from your head. He reaches down to slap your ass hard to punish your attitude. “Ah!- hey,” you gasp out while he squeezes your ass cheek right after he slaps you. You glare at him because he acts so smug about having you right where he wants you. He clearly enjoys seeing how irritated you get when he treats you like his property. “Yeah, well, maybe I will just move in here,” Dex jokes back, but he actually means every single word. You probably assume he will leave when the sun comes up, but here he is, thinking about how easy it would be to watch you up close if he lived with you. He knows it will be so simple to insert himself into your life now that you have just had sex with him. He smirks down at your tired body and has no idea that he thinks about never letting you go.

⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀ twenty-twenty-six © addie / musingsofheaven.

⠀⠀⠀

Your sloppy cunt lowered all the way down to his base, soaking him in your juices before stopping all movements. Dex groaned, head rolling onto the pillow as he realized you weren’t going to give him what he wanted, once again. His thighs shook under your body, hands tugging on his restraints but most importantly, his cock twitched inside your warm hole. His lips opened wide, drool leaking from his mouth and toward his cheek. You moved one hand to wipe it off, caressing his scar at the same time.

“I heard someone wanted to come, here? Who’s that?” You teased, voice full of mockery as Dex’s body shook, his insides all warm and burning up at the fact that another orgasm was ruined by you. His balls contracted and relaxed a few times, the veins all along his length throbbed against your velvety walls. It was nothing but torture to him; to feel you so wet, so close, so good but not being able to shoot his load inside your cunt.

His blue eyes shut tight as he tried to gain his thoughts back. “Me! Fuck, it’s me. I need to come… Let me come.” He whined at you.

It was your first time seeing him so… depraved. Dex was no stranger to being in control. He loved control; because control meant being in power and being in power meant having an advantage over people. But when it came to you? All control, all power and all advantages disappeared. His thoughts were nothing but about you and the way you made him feel. Because no one had truly made him feel that way before; like he was allowed to give up power and lay in his feelings.

“My cock hurts, m’fuck… Shit.” He groaned again, voice muffled by the pillow as he rolled it around. You hummed, moving both hands to brush sweaty hair away from his forehead. His skin was warm to the touch, you almost thought he had a fever for a second or so. A smile appeared on your face, less mocking than any before. “It hurts, baby? You want me to stop?” You asked, even though you knew Dex would never want to stop unless the safeword was used. So, he shook his head. Pleasure is pain, pain is pleasure. 

“That’s a good boy. You can take it, right?” You asked, brushing his sweaty skin with your fingertips until they stopped at his chin. Dex opened his blue eyes just to focus on your face, he licked his lips before talking. “Yeah, I can. I fuckin’ can.” A smirk appeared on his face and his eyes became half-lidded as you pushed two fingers against his lips.

He immediately understood, his jaw dropping and mouth opening to let you push them in. 

“That’s it, you’re doing so good, Dex.” You hissed while pressing your fingers against his tongue and deeper inside his mouth. Dex wrapped his lips around your digits and started to suck on them, rolling his tongue around and coating them in his saliva. 

He probably didn’t expect you to do it, so a loud muffled moan escaped his mouth when you rolled your hips and pushed his cock deeper inside your sloppy cunt. His head rolled onto the pillow as he now struggled to suck on your fingers and gather his thoughts at the same time. You decided to be merciful to him, and pulled your fingers out of his warm mouth; a thread of saliva connected the tips of your digits to his lips. It made you moan. “God, look at you. I’ve never seen you like that, so submissive and pathetic.” You voiced to the man beneath you.

Dex only replied with a groan, tugging on his restraints once more and you wondered if he felt his skin becoming raw under the rope. Did it add pleasure to him? Given how freaky he was, probably.

“Yeah, no shit… You’re the devil.” He hissed as you rolled your hips once more, clenching your walls around his throbbing cock. He pulsated inside you, pushing against your insides and stretching your cunt so good. A look at where you were both connected made you see the creamy white ring around his girth and how good he also made you feel.

He was so big, filling you up with his mushroom tip slightly kissing your cervix but not enough to make it hurt. 

The previous words leaving his mouth made you chuckle. “Come on, it’s just a little teasing. What should I say when you do the same to me?” He snorted, head rolling onto the pillow once more before his mouth fell wide open as you pushed yourself up from his cock. “Fuck, fuck… Your pussy’s so warm.” Dex groaned when you lowered yourself back down all the way onto his length. His back arched from the bed.

Obviously, he was overstimulated from the number of orgasms denied before, and the slightest movements were making him lose his mind.

“Focus, Dex.” You said, moving your hands to his chest. You caressed his scars slowly before focusing too, pressing your palms flat on his pectorals for support. Only then, you started to bounce up and down on his shaft—torturing him once again with your tight pussy. Dex gasped, the bed creaked as he squirmed under you and tried to tug on his restraints. Moans escaped his mouth, blue eyes closed shut as he tried to gather his thoughts with no effort and tears rolled down to his cheeks due to pleasure and overstimulation.

“Please, fuck, let me come this time. I’ll be good, yeah?” He hissed, eyes opening again just to watch your pussy leaking onto his cock; how your juices made everything glisten, how your clit rubbed into his base as you lowered yourself or how you took all of him. “You want to come? You want to fill my pussy, baby?” You asked him with mockery, leaning your upper body toward his chest so your breasts and nipples would rub against his pectorals. 

Only then, you fastened your pace, eyebrows furrowing due to pleasure. Tears kept rolling from Dex’s eyes and you moved your face closer just to lick them off of his skin.

The bed creaked as you slammed your pussy down onto his cock, your ass slapping onto his thighs and loud squelching noises echoing in the room from your sloppy pussy. Your walls clenched around him, his pre-cum mixing with your juices and leaking from your hole to stick to his balls. 

“I’m going to fill you up, yeah? Going to make sure you’re so fuckin’ full of me.” Dex groaned in your ear before you lifted your upper body up, sitting back perfectly onto his shaft. Your movements were now uncoordinated as you rolled your hips, bouncing with no true support. The noises echoing in the room were nothing but perverted and disgusting; a telltale of the sex that was happening. 

You didn’t even reply to the words leaving Dex’s mouth, too busy with rubbing your cunt down against his hairy base—your clit being roughly stimulated that way. One of your hands shifted to your back and lower until it got to your ass. You reached under, which was harder than you expected it would, just to wrap your palm around Dex’s balls. A loud gasp came from his mouth and his back arch from the mattress. “Fuck! Fuck, yes!” He cried out, muffled by the pillow as he hid his face.

You tried your best to mix bouncing and rolling his balls into your palm at the same time; bringing more stimulation to him. The hiding of his face didn’t do anything and you could clearly see all the tears that rolled to his cheeks as he cried from overstimulation. His body squirmed beneath yours, thighs shaking and hips jerked to thrust inside you—which you weren’t sure was on purpose.

His tip rubbed at your entrance, making your pussy leak more juices and wetness. It was a mess; all was sticky and slick and glistening.

Your hand tightened its grip onto Dex’s balls, thumb rubbing at the skin there before almost pinching it. “Fuck! Too much, fuck, I’m going to come!” He cried, bringing more strength when tugging on the rope around his wrists. He didn’t seem to care about burning himself. “Going to come? You want it, baby?” You asked, before suddenly letting his balls fall from your palm just to slap them. Dex groaned loudly, hips jerking and before he had time to warn you; he came.

His whole body contracted, muscles convulsing under you as he shot his load inside your pussy. It was warm, thick and way too much. You could only keep bouncing as he filled you up, dragging his semen all the way down his length and to his base as you fucked yourself on his cock. “Shit! Shit! Coming!” He cried, and you slapped his balls again which made him shake from overstimulation. 

Your free hand moved to his pectoral and you held yourself up for supper before giving real bounces on top of him. Your cunt clenched, filled up with his semen that leaked out of your hole in globs just to decorate his base and thighs. “Fuck, Dex—” You cried out too, trying a new angle just to feel his tip rub and hit your g-spot. Your mouth opened wide as pleasure ran through your body, making your thoughts foggy.

Dex cried out as overstimulation made his body shake, and neither was he able to think at that moment. 

Your cunt clenched around his softening cock as you finally came—loudly crying out his name, body arching on top of his and pussy pulsating. The bed stopped from creaking and the room was filled with loud breathing for a second before you slowly pulled yourself up from Dex’s cock in a wet, shlick noise. “I think I just saw Heaven.” You joked to him and he only smirked in answer, still needing to gather his thoughts before talking. 

Your walls clenched around air before you pushed, which made more come leak from your sloppy hole. Globs of semen fell down directly onto Dex’s cock and he groaned at the view, his shaft twitching for a second. “Untie me.” He finally spoke and you just did that, seeing his red and raw skin from all the tugging. He didn’t seem to care at all, so you didn’t mention it. 

All Dex did was wrap his arms around your waist and pull your body down onto his. You were both naked, laying down in silence for what seemed to be eternity. Then, he spoke. “We definitely need to do that again,” his eyes lowered to your face, seeing you almost asleep from all the effort. “Turns out I’m really into overstimulation. And ball torture.” The last words made you laugh out loud. “Uh? Are you now?”

He rolled to face you, one strong hand on your lower back to caress your skin. “Use my knives, next time.” You rolled your eyes at that. “You’re insane, Benjamin Poindexter.” 

He leaned his face, pressed his lips to yours for a kiss that only lasted a moment or so. “Yeah, I fuckin’ am. Insane about you.”

When it came to Matt coming over, Livia was regretting her decision to invite him. She didn’t care about the extra cooking. She generally made enough for leftovers and meal prep anyway. It was just the idea of having that conversation with him.

She has actively avoided it for a reason, after all.

The meal itself was easy enough. June managed to fill any awkward silences with her own stories. Matt seemed to keep a smile on his face for the whole night.

It made Livia’s heart ache, made her yearn for a peace she couldn’t quite have.

“Oh.” June said suddenly as her phone rang. “Um…”

“Go ahead.” Livia motioned towards the other woman’s room. “It’s about that time.”

“Well…” She looked at the screen, bit her inner cheek, and then looked back. “He’ll understand. I can call him later.”

“Wow.” Livia nodded then looked over to Matt. “She never ignores his call.”

“Really?” He raised his brows. “Guess this is important.”

“It is.” June agreed. “Okay, we’ve stalled enough. Livia, go.”

“Okay.” Livia shrugged. “What happened with you at the bank, June?”

“Hmm?” She pressed her lips into a line and raised her brows. “Come again?”

“When one of those guys had his gun aimed at Matt, you freaked out. I felt it. You were practically shaking after. What was that?”

“Uh… Well, it- It was nothing. Nothing.” June shook her head.

“Liv, maybe we don’t.” Matt tried.

“You know, don’t you?” Livia faced the man.

“Maybe.” He sighed. “When we went to California, she had some-“

“No!” June cut in.

“We have to tell her.” Matt reasoned.

“That’s not what we’re talking about.”

“It sort of is, Bug… We can’t fix everything if we’re still keeping secrets. You can read our minds but we can’t read yours.”

June chewed the inside of her cheek as she thought. She was quiet but gestured for Matt to continue. Livia watched as the blonde sunk into her seat with a huff, crossing her arms and trying to make herself smaller.

Matt waited until Livia was focused on him to talk.

“She was having nightmares in California.” Matt explained carefully, telling the story with such gentleness and care that Livia was still shocked that he ever sent June to Natasha. “She’d wake up, just drenched in sweat. Sometimes she’d scream, other times she was crying… It was always the same thing. One of us-“ He gestured between him and Livia. “-dying.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Livia gently asked June.

She shrugged a shoulder, pretending it didn’t matter. “What were you supposed to do about it?”

“If I had known, I-“

“There was nothing you could’ve done, Liv.” June sighed, seemingly exhausted at the idea. “I figured it out on my own.”

“The problem is you’re not on your own, not anymore.”

“Never again.” Matt agreed. “June, I’m sorry for everything. When I said what I did, I wasn’t thinking. I was so hurt by what Natasha had said that I…”

Livia hesitated.

She never hesitated when it came to Matt but this time she did. She reached slightly towards his hand before letting hers land on the table. She tapped her fingers, eyed the distance between their hands, but did nothing about it.

Matt’s head cocked in her direction, sensing whatever reaction her body was giving away. He offered the slightest smirk, almost proud of what he had discovered. Livia just shook her head. She was going to withdraw her hand but Matt reached over before she could. He laced his fingers through hers and it felt like the most natural position she had ever been in.

She was so entranced by the feelings that she didn’t even hear what else Matt was saying. Some sort of apology, some grovelling, the usual.

It was almost as if her bones were made to fit with his. Every hole in her heart and soul, every gap in her bones, every valley of her muscles, any possible opening or cavity within her seemed to match with something in Matt like puzzle pieces. It was exhilarating to have those small things filled, to simply feel complete even if just for a fleeting moment.

Matt completed Livia in ways that no other man had. Marc had done his best but there was a softness that he lacked, to no fault of his own. Steven was sweet and loving, but there was an edge that Livia needed to combat her own. Billy was the only one that arguably competed with Matt for that space, but he had gone bad long before she knew him.

Then there was Dex. Ben Poindexter was a man that she probably never should’ve taken to bed, but there was something in that instability that called to her. She saw her darkest potential in him. Maybe she thought she could fix something broken in herself if she could fix him, but it very well could’ve been too broken for her to do anything with.

She came back to the conversation when Matt gave her hand a small shake.

“I know you think you need to be alone to figure everything out.” Matt said gently. “But just like you told her, you’re not alone. I’m always here for you, Livvy.”

Her heart fell a beat behind at the nickname.

“Really, we should be blaming Uncle Frank.” June added, twirling her fork in the air as she spoke. “He’s the one who opened his mouth.”

“Or I can blame all three of you.” Livia countered. “You all hid it.”

“Cause we didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Yes, but can you just admit that you were wrong?”

June opened her mouth to speak, registered Livia’s expression, and then offered a frown of her own.

“I really am sorry, Liv. I didn’t know how to bring it up so I just figured it’d be easier not to say anything.”

“Thank you.” Livia nodded before turning back to Matt. “I could’ve been more willing to hear you out and for that, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize for your feelings.” He offered a gentle smile.

“It just hurt so much to hear what had happened. But I guess I didn’t take into account everything else…”

“Does that mean he’s forgiven?” June asked excitedly.

“Depends.” She turned to June. “Do you forgive him?”

“Yeah, we’re good.” June smiled. “We can keep him around a little while longer.”

“Only a little?” Matt laughed.

“In that case, we will definitely work towards getting back to normal.” Livia told Matt.

“Sounds good to me.” He nodded. He shook her hand slightly, as if to confirm the deal. “However long it takes.”

“Yay!” June clapped. “My turn. Livia, you need to be more honest with us.”

“Right.” Livia nodded once. There was no point in arguing against that request. “What about?”

June’s eyes darted to Matt.

“I have been honest about that.”

“No, you haven’t.”

“Says who?”

“Says me.” Her pointed stare told Livia everything.

“Is there something specific you want to know?”

“No, because I think I already know, but you just won’t say it.”

“You’ve been waiting for a chance to bring this up, haven’t you?” Livia raised a brow.

“Maybe.” June shrugged innocently. “If you’re asking me to be open and honest, it’s only fair that I ask the same of you. Right?”

“She’s got a point.” Matt agreed.

“You’re only agreeing so she doesn’t turn this onto you.” Livia slightly rolled her eyes. Matt gave a slight tilt of his head in agreement. “You are right, June, so I’ll concede to answering anything you ask honestly when it’s just us.”

“That’s not fair!” June exclaimed.

“It is, and it’s all the compromise you’re getting.”

June pursed her lips as she thought.

“And the same goes for Matt.” Livia added.

“Hang on.” Matt chuckled nervously. “I’m not even sure what it’s about.”

“Deal.” June answered quickly, not allowing Matt to question it.

“Anything you’d like to add, Counselor?” Livia looked to Matt.

“Not at the moment, no.” He cracked a small smile. “I’ll let you know if anything comes up.”

The three of them finished dinner and moved to the living room for a movie. They were laying on the couch, watching one of the many movies Livia had missed during her five year disappearing act. It was of course June’s selection, but she had fallen asleep about halfway though. She was laying with her legs over the armrest and her head in Matt’s lap. Livia was angled on Matt’s other side, careful not to lean onto him.

“Are you comfortable like that?” Matt laughed slightly when Livia shifted beside him.

“Yeah.” She lied. As she moved, she winced at the slight pain in her ribs.

“I can hear your bones rubbing together.” Matt countered. “Did you do something recently?”

“Not since the flake’s apartment.” Livia shook her head, gently rubbing the tender spot. “Well, technically the bank is more accurate but that was only a few days ago so I guess it doesn’t count.”

“Okay. He was scared, right? You can’t hold it against him.”

“I fear it all would’ve ended the same way, regardless of how he testified.”

“Maybe.” Matt agreed. “So you haven’t gone out since?”

“No. Believe it or not, I haven’t. I still train with June, though, so I think she got me good at some point.” “You train with June?” His brows went up in surprise.

“Have you seen her in a fight? If she’s not using mindwork, it’s like a toddler waving pool noodles.”

Matt laughed. “Hard to believe that if you two were from the same place.”

“I think that was always the point...” She reached forward and brushed June’s hair off her forehead. “Two very different purposes.”

“You two aren’t as different as you think.” Matt offered gently. He reached for Livia’s hand but she smoothly avoided it, tucking both of her hands between her folded legs.

“Maybe, maybe not. Either way, she’s in a better place now than I was at her age. She has you to thank for that.”

“She has you, too.”

“I guess the guy she’s with deserves some credit, too.”

“Right, right.” He nodded. “What’s his name again? Joseph?”

“Jared?”

“Jasper.”

“Jacob.”

“Jorge.”

“Julian.”

“This is what happens when she won’t introduce us.”

Livia laughed slightly. “So.. When does the missus expect you home?”

“The missus.” Matt nodded slowly.

“I’d hate to get you in trouble.”

“Since when?” He laughed.

“When have I ever gotten you in trouble?” Livia replied in offense.

“I don’t think we have time for that list.”

Livia laughed and smacked lightly on his chest. “You’re just asking to get your ass kicked, Murdock.”

“I thought you don’t do that anymore.”

“I saw the way you moved at the bank. Clearly, you’re out of practice. It’d actually be unfair to you to fight in the state you’re in.”

“Oh really?”

“Really.”

“Let’s go to the roof and find out.”

“Gladly.”

Before Livia stood, she scribbled a quick note in case June woke up while they were out, then she lightly twisted her torso to stretch her back. She watched Matt carefully rearrange June, who murmured some nonsense before settling back to sleep. Matt gestured for Livia to go first, a smug expression on his face. Livia couldn’t help but roll her eyes to herself as she stepped around him.

At that time of night, the roof was abandoned. No one from her building really went up there anyway except for a couple of teens that went up to hide from their parents while they smoked. Livia wandered the open space, stretching either shoulders and loosening her hips. She heard Matt’s footsteps a few feet behind her and she assumed he was doing something similar.

“Ladies first.” He offered.

She faced him with a smile.

“Be my guest, Matthew.” Livia held her arms out to the side, offering a wide open shot to her torso.

He laughed slightly, the kind of chuckle that sent a jolt through her. The jolt was the kind that meant her life and her thoughts were going to get very complicated very quickly.

As if he knew she was distracted, Matt acted first. He came at her and threw one quick punch. Livia reacted just in time, catching him by his wrist.

She spun her hand around his forearm to push his arm down while she dropped to a knee. Her other arm wrapped around his weight-bearing leg and with a yank, she flipped him over her shoulder.

He landed with a thud and Livia had to laugh. Just a small chuckle.

“Are you taking it easy on me?” She teased.

“Just getting warmed up.” Matt smiled.

They both stood and this time, Livia made the first move.

She went to sweep his legs but Matt avoided it with an acrobatic flip.

Livia knew better than to give him too much time. Once his feet landed, she went to kick out at his chest. Matt also knew her tendencies so he was expecting the kick. He smacked it away and threw one of his own, a high roundhouse that she had to duck under.

She righted and aimed a kick for his ribs. He caught her foot and pinned it under his arm. His other hand gripped her shoulder.

She reached forward and put one hand behind his neck and the other hooked his elbow. With a small hop, she let her body weight drop to drag Matt down. On the way down, her free leg lifted to swing over the arm she had caught.

The back of Matt’s shoulders hit first, meaning her other leg was now free. She spun quickly, adjusting her position to lock Matt into an armbar.

He tapped out quickly.

“Not looking good for you, Matty.” She continued her teasing as she released him. She tumbled backwards to get her feet under her. “I think June could even beat you.”

“You’ve made your point.” He replied from the ground. He shot a hand up, a silent request for her to help him up.

With a small eyeroll, she obliged.

“I really didn’t think you’d be this out of practice.”

“You’d be surprised how fast I catch on.”

“Alright then.” Livia smirked. “One last round?”

“If you say so.” Matt gestured to the space between them.

She moved intently this time, walking in slow circles around him. He spun with her in an effort to keep her in front of him. They both knew he could react to her moves easily and he didn’t need her to be in front of him, but it was all part of the game. That’s what it was to the two of them at the end of it.

A game.

A tricky little cat and mouse neither were going to concede in. It had always been that way for them, she realized. Neither of them were ever truly available to the other, be it due to another relationship or something threatening their lives or someone taking their turn to be “dead”. It was a vicious cycle of want, of yearning, of chasing the impossible.

Livia knew that and yet she let herself fall back into the cycle every damned time.

She needed to get off that train of thought and quickly, so she punched him.

The sloppy attack missed and Matt took a quick step to the side. He threw his elbow towards her chest but she got her hands up to block it and push him away. She swung on him again but he ducked under it, quickly switching his feet to angle himself at her side. He had a leg behind her and Livia quickly recognized he was either going to flip her or trip her.

When he reached across her waist, she didn’t waste time. She drove a knee upwards, forcing the joint into his armpit to block his range of motion and give herself some space. Matt reacted by hooking a foot around her planted ankle.

She went with the momentum of the pull on her ankle and lifted her leg for a kick to his chest. Unfortunately, it was exactly the motion Matt was hoping for. He caught her foot, bracing her ankle against him as he moved closer. She cursed to herself when he caught hold of her planted leg.

With a quick spin, he pulled Livia to the ground and pinned her on her back. Her heart was racing, breath coming hard and fast.

It was the thrill of the fight.

It was the thrill of him.

He still had hold of her leg, bracing it against his hip, when she closed her eyes. She sighed before she let herself laugh. It was genuine, truly enjoying her existence for the moment. 

“Maybe this was a bad idea.” She said quietly, eyes darting across his face. So many things were racing through her mind, thoughts she couldn’t entertain. Thoughts she was purposefully trying to avoid.

“What makes you say that?” He asked in the same low tone. He hadn’t released her leg, nor had he attempted to put any distance between their faces. Livia almost thought he had moved in closer.

She had to maneuver her hands carefully to his chest and push him away. She hardly gave him a nudge and he complied without protest.

“You know why.” She answered, shifting away from him.

She stayed on the ground and drew her knees to her chest. One arm wrapped around them and the other fidgeted with her hair.

“Just say the word, Livia.” Matt tried.

“Say what?”

“You know what.”

“There’s nothing to say.”

“Say it, right now, and everything changes.”

“If there was something to say, I’m not going to.”

“Why not?”

“Aren’t you happy?”

“That’s not what this is about.”

“Maybe, but I’m asking anyway.” She shrugged. “So just tell me. Are you happy?”

“Don’t… Don’t ask me that.” He nearly whispered. “You can’t ask me that.”

“Why? Because we both know the answer? I can’t hear your heartbeat but I can feel the truth. Are. You. Happy?” She repeated the question slowly, enunciating each syllable.

“Yes…” He said it quietly, like a whispered confession in some sacred place.

“Exactly.” She smiled sadly. “We both know how this goes. Are you feeling bad for living your life- living a good life without me? I don’t blame you for that. Your life had to go on, Matt.”

“That’s not-“

“You’re happy. June’s happy, That’s all I could ask for…” She began heading back towards the building’s entrance. “I won’t ruin that for you.” She added over her shoulder.

“Are you?”

The question stopped her at the door. She knew exactly what he was asking, but she acted as if she didn’t, if only to give herself time to formulate her lie.

“Am I what?” She didn’t look at him, didn’t take her hand off the knob.

“Happy.”

Livia drew her ability within herself. She felt it course in her veins, every bit of power she had interlaced with her blood. She used it to create a sense of truth, for she needed to believe those next words just as much as she needed Matt to. He wouldn’t know she was lying if she could maintain that control.

She had to maintain it.

“Of course.” She answered, a tone so foreign she wasn’t sure it was her own voice. Detached but seemingly honest, dripping with fake sweetness, just enough to convince him. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“So we lie to each other now…” Matt nodded in understanding.

“I’m not gonna lie to you if I don’t have to.” She shrugged a shoulder. “We can’t tell June we had this conversation.”

“Now you’re asking me to lie to her?”

“Not lie. Just not to bring it up.” Livia countered as she turned to face him. “I know she wants more from us. If she knew we’ve agreed to-“

“Hang on. I didn’t agree to anything.”

“C’mon, Matt.” She said tiredly. “You know as well as I do that you and I are doomed. We always have been.”

It felt honest enough, but the words cut through her like a knife. She wanted to believe Matt would pick her, but part of her knew he never would. What did she have to offer when compared to a woman like Heather? Where Livia brought pain and blood and bruises, Heather offered peace, stability, and gentle hands. Livia’s hands were rough, scarred, misaligned from broken bones and dislocations. Heather’s were pristine. Heather’s words were polished and comforting while Livia’s were soaked in lies and sharper than the blades she brandished with ease. Livia lived her life under a security blanket of violence.

“You deserve peace.” She took one step forward. She couldn’t allow herself any more than that. “Heather gives you that.”

“What about what you deserve?” He closed the distance between them.

“I think I’ve gotten more.” Her hand up on reflex, aiming to push him back his chest.

She didn’t know why she thought she could try with Matt. She wanted him. God, there was nothing she wanted more. But there was nothing special on the table from her. She could never stop hiding under that blanket she grew up with. She physically wasn’t capable of letting that cursed thing go.

He caught her by her wrist as soon as her fingertips met the material of his shirt. Her mouth opened to argue, to come up with some weak excuse as to why they could only be friends, but his next actions were too quick.

He gave a small tug and pulled her against his chest. She landed with a soft ‘oof’ and tensed immediately. She knew she was supposed to pull away. She had to stick to what she said. But the feeling of being in his arms, being held so close, she was suddenly terrified for it to end. Something about life outside of that embrace suddenly seemed like the worst thing she could imagine.

There was no use in pretending anymore, but that didn’t mean she would stop wanting.

So she sunk into the embrace. Her arms wrapped around him and her hands balled into tight fists, catching the extra fabric of his shirt. He sighed, leaned some of his weight against her, and dug his fingertips into the soft skin at her sides.

How long they stayed tangled together, she didn’t know.

She just knew she had to be the one who pulled away.

“Don’t tell me-” Matt tried, a certain desperation in his voice that she figured only she would recognize.

“I know.” Livia cut him off. She had no idea what he was actually going to say, but someone had to stop. Someone had to get control before they crashed. “I know.” She nodded once then went back inside.

Matt came back in soon after and they resumed their positions on the couch. This time, Livia leaned against the opposite arm just to ensure her and Matt couldn’t accidentally touch. It was drastic and obvious, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care.

It was what was best.

It was what she had to do.

She only hoped he understood, but he was gone before either her or June woke up. June ranted about it in the morning, how it was rude and inconsiderate to just up and leave in the middle of the night, but Livia had nothing to say on the matter. She was sure Matt understood what she was doing and he probably decided that he had to do his part too.

She received another collect call from Rikers Island. She knew only one prisoner there and she’d chew off her own left foot before dealing with that man.

Livia expected the office to be relatively awkward, but Matt was nearly as skilled at facades as she was. No one was any wiser to the eggshells surrounding the two. She was both impressed and annoyed by his capability. Things went as expected, both keeping to their own work for the most part, until Angela Ayala came in.

“Hey.” June appeared behind Livia’s computer. “The Ayala girl is here, wants to see you and Matt.”

Livia was out of her seat without hesitation. “Is she okay?”

“Looks fine, physically.” June shrugged. “But she’s shaken up about something. Matt took her to the conference room.”

Livia nodded her head for June to follow.

“...with all those people going missing.” The girl was explaining when Livia walked in. “Hi, Ms. Yersova.”

“Hi.” Livia smiled. “Sorry I’m late. What’d I miss?”

“Angela was explaining what her uncle was looking into before his death.” Matt explained as Livia sat on the table beside him. He lifted his hand as if to put it on her leg, then he course-corrected at the last second and placed it on the table, tapping his pointer finger.

June shot Livia a confused look over Matt’s shoulder but, thankfully, the blonde didn’t say anything.

“I really think it had something to do with those missing people.” Angela nodded. There was no room for doubt in her and Livia couldn’t help but crack a small smile. “He was tracking those kidnappings.”

“Angela, I know you’re upset and you have every right to be.” Matt began, trying to talk her down. “But this isn’t safe.”

“Don’t tell me how to be, Mr. Murdock. Don’t pull that therapy talk that I’m processing, or trying to control, or whatever.” She said, both angry and heartbroken at the same time. “Or that I should be in school, because that’s what Hector would’ve wanted… This is what he would’ve wanted.”

“And what is that?” Livia asked, earning a quiet sigh from Matt.

“Someone finishing his work, someone actually doing something for once.” She sniffled.

June took a seat beside Angela and put a kind hand on her arm. Livia didn’t say it, but she was thrilled to see June offering someone she didn’t necessarily know a physical sort of comfort. The gloves were there, as was Angela’s jacket sleeve, but it was still more than the version of June she first met would ever offer.

“Therapy talk? Was I doing that?” Matt asked, humor tinting his words.

“Absolutely.” June answered, making Angela laugh. “I blame your girlfriend.”

“Be nice.” Livia said with a small smile before looking back to Angela. “Tell me what you remember about your uncle’s work.”

“Liv.” Matt tried quietly. She kicked lightly at his chair in response.

“All those kidnappings were all close to the old Q line.” She began, almost excitedly. This wasn’t a girl who wanted to run head first into danger. It was a girl who just wanted to be heard.

“The one they shut down?” June’s head cocked.

“Track 61.”

“Angela, listen. We’re just lawyers, right? I tried to help your uncle in court but this… That’s for the police.” Matt tried.

June shot Livia a look, a silent plea for her to do something. Livia gave half a shrug.

“The police killed my uncle.” Again, no room for doubt in Angela Ayala. “I’m not going to them.”

“Alright, fair enough, fair enough, but what do you want us to do about it?” Matt leaned back in his chair. 

“How about literally anything?” Angela laughed. “You know, at least Ms. Yersova wants to hear me out. You can’t wait to shut me down.”

“That’s not-” Matt tried.

“Mr. Murdock is trying to say that getting physically involved in this may be outside our scope of practice as lawyers.” Livia explained carefully. “However, we may be willing to compile some additional evidence and present it to the NYPD. If we do enough of their investigating, they can’t possibly mess it up.”

She nodded, eyes red and watery. Livia wondered how much sleep the girl had gotten since her uncle died. How many nights did Angela stay up, cursing every police siren? Blaming any and every officer for her uncle’s death? How had grief haunted this young girl?

And what could Livia do about it?

“All about helping the little guy, right? But only on your terms.” Angela’s anger turned on Matt. “Cause when the little guy puts something for real in your hands, you don’t want it.”

Matt was quiet and Angela had enough.

She stood abruptly. “My bad for thinking you cared.”

“It’s not that simple, Angela.” Matt tried again, but the girl was out the door before Matt could finish.

“June.” Livia looked to her friend.

“I got it.” She nodded and hurried after Angela. Once the door closed behind them, Livia looked to Matt.

“You could’ve at least listened to her.” Livia said plainly. “That was really what she came here for, to have someone that she thought could be trusted hear what she had to say.”

“You know as well as I do that she wanted more than that.” Matt countered, surprisingly calm. Livia thought he almost sounded detached.

“And we can do that for her!” Livia urged, careful with the volume of her voice.

“No, we can’t. We don’t do that kind of thing because we are lawyers.”

“We are very capable of looking into something to make a young girl who’s just lost a major part of herself feel some sort of peace. Since when does that not matter to you?”

“I never said it didn’t matter.”

“That’s how you’re acting, Matt. That’s what Angela thinks. She left this office feeling crushed and you let that happen.” Livia stood from the table.

“Livia, there’s nothing we can do for her.” Matt shook his head.

“Sounds like nothing you can do for her.”

“Livia, we can’t do this.” He emphasized.

June came back into the room, hands in her back pockets and a frown on her face.

“Is she okay?” Livia asked.

“She’s lost in her own head.” June shook her head. “I didn’t… I don’t think she’s going to let this go. It worries me. Is that normal?”

“Yes, it’s called empathy, Bug. Welcome to my world.” Livia joked slightly. “What do you want to do?”

“Don’t ask her that.” Matt sighed.

“I want to try and help her, give her closure or something. We can do that, right?”

“I think so.”

“You know what? I’m done. I…” Matt put his hands up in surrender and left the conference room.

“Did I make the wrong call?” June asked worriedly.

“No.” Livia smiled. “Matt’s just trying to stick to this vow he made. It’s not you.”

“Do you think I’m right?”

“Absolutely. I can let a man suffer and not lose a wink of sleep over it. I can even let a grown woman. But to see her so… It just doesn’t sit right.”

“Okay.” June sighed with a nod. “Okay…”

“See what you can find on that old Q line.” Livia patted June’s shoulder. “But keep it discreet. I’ll see if I can get Matt to come around. Or at least be less pissed off about it.”

The issue with that one was that Matt didn’t seem to want to talk to either woman for the rest of the day. In fact, it wasn’t until the following night that she caught up with him. June left early for something with Joaquin and Livia decided to stay late, organizing some details on the kidnappings, so it was only her and Matt in the office.

She knocked on the conference room door before stepping in.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were avoiding me.” She teased as she entered, sitting opposite of him.

He cracked half a smile. “Now what makes you say that?”

“I know you’re not thrilled with how things went with Angela and I know that you’re not necessarily on board with what June and I are considering.”

“I just don’t think it’s safe. Do you?”

“I think that I’ve been the number one fugitive of several foreign governments since I was a kid. Tracking a kidnapping through abandoned tunnels is the least of my concerns.”

“I mean with Fisk in office… He knows you, he knows her. If you two step out in those outfits…”

“So that’s what this is all about.” Livia nodded in understanding.

“I don’t think a target on your backs does either of you any good.”

“I’d never say this to her but I honestly think she has an advantage no one else does. Fisk still cares about her. He genuinely loves her like family.”

“You think he wouldn’t do anything?”

“I think he wouldn’t hurt her.” Livia corrected. “He still thinks they can reconnect and I don’t doubt he realizes that having her on his side would be good for his image.”

Matt tilted his head in agreement. “But that doesn’t extend to you.”

“I don’t need it to.”

“Livia.”

“Matt.”

“You’re going to do this anyway, aren’t you?”

“Probably.” She nodded.

“And so is June?”

“Yup.”

He sighed heavily, tilted his head back to mumble towards the sky. Before he could say anything else to Livia, Cherry walked in. Livia offered a polite smile, but she really didn’t care for the man. Every time she saw him in the office, it made her think of Brett and the times he tried to arrest her as Exodus.

And the one time he actually did arrest her at the hospital.

Livia listened quietly to what Cherry had to say. He said that there was talk of a local serial killer totalling more than sixty victims. Her fingers tapped against each other, thumb tapping each digit as she counted up to sixty. She heard the name ‘Muse’ and he was painting in blood. The thought sent a chill down even her spine. It was saying something if it made Exodus shudder. Cherry hoped Matt would let it go and then he left.

“Are you?” Livia asked when the door closed.

“Are you?” He countered, turning towards her. “This is…”

“It’s horrific.” Livia nodded slightly. She stood and breathed deeply, patting him on the solder. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Matty.”

“That’s not an answer.” Matt called after her.

“Isn’t it?”

When she got back to the apartment, June had her research strewn about the coffee table. Two energy drinks were open, one was empty and on its side. Livia let out a low whistle.

“You never drink those.” Livia gestured to the cans. At least they were the small cans.

“I needed to focus.” June shook her head.

“I thought you were going out with your guy.”

June waved a hand. “Until this. Come look.”

“Looking.” Livia sat beside June on the ground.

“I caught these a little bit ago.” June flipped her Ipad to show a photo of a mural. Lady Liberty with blood coming from her eyes, and two girls slumped against the wall missing their eyes.  “There was another body found with the same trademark and all these murals by this guy, Muse, they’re all-”

“Done with human blood.” Livia finished. “Yeah, Cherry came by and mentioned it to Matt. There’s estimated to be sixty victims of this guy.”

“Do you think Muse is the one at the old Q-Line? With all the kidnappings Angela was talking about?”

“If so, then we need to figure this out fast. I don’t think Angela is gonna sit back much longer.”

“I like the kid.”

“Me too.” Livia pushed herself to stand. “Alright, get changed. Cover your face and hands. Pull your hair up.”

June jumped to her feet. “I know how to dress for a mission.”

“Yes, but this is very specific.” Livia explained as she walked. She could hear June’s shuffling feet hurrying to catch up. “We get in, we look around, we get out. We leave no trace. No fingerprints, no hair, no DNA, no proof of us ever being there. Fisk has made it very clear that vigilantes are his top target. I won’t take an additional risk on your safety. Got it?”

“What about your gloves then?” June asked defensively.

“Look at my hands, June.” Livia spun to face her and held out her palms. June took Livia’s hands and examined them carefully. Through the contact, Livia felt the new wave of cold. “I don’t have prints to leave anymore.”

“Everyday I learn something new about you.” June swallowed. “And everyday I hate Dreykov even more.”

“At least we can say, with certainty, that he’s dead.” Livia patted June’s cheek. “You have three minutes to change or I leave you.”

June made a noise close to a squeak before hurrying away.

Livia took a moment to look at the disfigured pads of her fingers. Bits and pieces of prints remained, but nothing distinguishable. A partial print was all she could ever leave. The memory of losing those flashed in her mind. The hot knife scraping them away, individually removing each layer of skin. The chemical she never knew the name of dripped over the seeping wounds, as a promise they’d never return. It was another piece of her identity that place had taken from her.

She heard a thud from June’s room, followed immediately by “I’m okay!”. It made her laugh.

Maybe she didn’t need that little piece of identity anyway.

She hurried to change and equip herself when her implant sounded in her head. She hadn’t realized it was even on so she flinched at the sudden chime. She tapped it quickly, if only to shut off the sound.

“Where are you?” Matt’s voice was rough, angry almost, and hurried.

“Home. What’s going on?” Livia froze, her boot halfway zipped.

“June?”

“Falling off her bed. What’s going on?”

“Meet me at the Q-Line.” Was his only answer before he hung up.

“Okay!” June hurried into the room, her face mask in hand. “I’m ready. What’s that look about?”

Livia yanked her boot zipper the rest of the way and flashed June a triumphant smile.

Five years.

When Alivia Yersova took the trip to Wakanda after Nat and Steve convinced her, she wasn’t so sure she’d make it back to Hell’s Kitchen. She knew she could only cheat death so many times. Surely, He would come to collect after nearly taking her after the carousel incident.

So when she collapsed at her cousin’s feet, it was no real surprise to her.

“Tell them.” Was all she managed to say.

It was strange that it didn’t hurt. It was as simple as existing and then not. It took all of maybe two seconds for a higher power to rid the world of her, but those two seconds were a replayed lifetime for Livia.

A lifetime of fighting, bleeding and bruising, screaming and crying. A lifetime of love, laughter, happiness and family.

Foggy Nelson. Karen Page. Frank Castle. Dinah Madani and Amy.

Nat and Yelena.

Marc Spector and Steven Grant.

She even thought of crazy old Ben Poindexter and Billy Russo.

But it all came down to two names. Two faces etched into her memory.

Matt Murdock and June.

For the briefest of time, she wondered how she couldn’t think of June’s last name.

What would happen to her little Junebug? Surely, Matt would take care of her… Right?

Coming back was the strange part.

The terrain seemed the same and everyone around her was just as confused so that made her feel less out of place - if that was possible in a foreign country with no one she knew around her. Glancing down, she saw her suit was still covered in blood, dirt, and alien fluids. Her bodily aches were still there. She recognized the others around her only as people she fought with but Livia couldn’t really name any of them other than the Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes.

Livia quickly realized she couldn’t hear herself think. All she could feel was everyone else. It brought a panic to her bones to think of what that meant. Livia’s built up control, the means of survival she spent years fine tuning, was gone. Her chest was growing painfully tight and she had to unzip her top just to try and breathe.

“Alivia?” Barnes’ voice was muffled, drowning in the sea of panic she was surrounded by. He gently held onto her arm and she flinched away from the sudden contact. “You’re alright.”

“No, I-“ She shook her head, aggravating the spinning sensation. “I can’t breathe. It’s too much. It’s-“

Was she even speaking? Her voice sounded so weak, so small and confused.

She looked over at his expression and found a surprisingly compassionate set of eyes staring at her. She yanked her mask to hang around her neck, ignoring the shakiness in her hands. He was scared, too. He didn’t understand what was happening either, yet he was there trying to comfort Livia. She broke into a small smile and he returned the gesture.

“I’m alright.” Livia forced herself to say. She sure as hell didn’t believe it, but she could lie through her teeth. “Confused but alright… I just need to get home.”

“Come on.” He nodded, offering her a hand. “Let get you home then.”

Livia followed Barnes without hesitation. She looked around in part awe, part confusion. How did everyone come back? She was dead, wasn’t she? Weren’t all of them?

She tried to write it off as the power of the Stones. Maybe they were faulty. Maybe it was a fluke. Maybe the idea of uniting the Stones was a pipe dream, never really possible. That meant she was only gone for a few moments.

As quickly as the thought came, it left. Livia noticed the changes of the shrubbery, what had formerly been bright green was now a faded shade of orange. Flowers were wilting, branches drooping.

Livia and countless others were gone for a good chunk of time.

Livia startled when an orange ring of sparks ignited in front of her. She jumped back, flexed a hand to activate her Bite and reached for a blade with the other. She had one left and she’d sure as hell make it count.

“Good, you’re all here.” The man that stepped through said, surveying the various reappearances.

“What the hell happened?” Livia couldn’t stop the question from tumbling out.

“It’s been five years.” He rushed the explanation. “Now you’re all needed at Aveng-“

Five years. The thought made her head spin again.

“No.” She said firmly as a new determination lit her bones. “I’m going home. Send me home.”

“I’m sorry, but we cannot do that.”

Livia’s fingers found the handle of her knife.

“I wasn’t asking.”

“One person isn’t gonna change what’s gonna happen.” Barnes tried. “She’s done her part.”

“We need everyone.”

“I won’t go.” Livia shook her head.

All she could think was seeing Matt and June again. Reuniting with her friends, being in her own home and her own bed. Getting that stupid suit off. Screaming at Natasha for dragging her out there.

Come to think of it, Livia noticed she hadn’t seen Natasha since she returned. She must not have disappeared when Livia did.

“I don’t think I was really meant to be here.” Livia changed tactics, considering going as far as begging. “Please.”

The man sighed heavily. “Where is home?”

“Hell’s Kitchen in New York.”

“Oh.” He nodded. “I’m sorry.”

Livia’s stomach dropped.

“Did something happen?” She asked in a new panic.

“No.” He turned, swinging his hand in a wide circle for a new ring of sparks. “Just sorry it’s Hell’s Kitchen.”

She made a face to herself then faced Barnes.

“Thanks.” She felt strangely awkward having to thank or directly address the former ghost story. “I owe you.”

“I’d say this makes us even.” He smiled.

Absently, she snuck a hand into her hair for the scar hiding near her ear. It was that failed mission that resulted in the implant… But none of that was directly Barnes’ fault.

Livia smiled slightly and offered a hand to shake.

“You ever come through Hell’s Kitchen, we should talk some more.” Livia offered as Barnes shook her outstretched hand. “Always helps to have a friend that gets it.”

“I’d like that.” He nodded. “Take care, Alivia.”

“Call me Liv.” She slipped her mask back over her eyes and stepped through the portal.

Her feet landed on the New York streets she knew. There was a slight wobble in her step at the sudden appearance but it faded quickly. She looked around, grateful to be in a familiar setting through the chaos.

Livia ducked down the closest alley and sucked in a deep breath. Unfortunately, not even the scent of stagnant garbage water could distract from that tightness in her chest and head.

What was happening to her?

Livia tried her best to shove the thought away. She could figure that out later. Instead, she needed to focus. She needed her bearings so she could get to Matt’s apartment. She couldn’t go to the office because… Well, she didn’t know where it would be or if they even had one. Were they still working out of the deli?

It didn’t matter. Not yet, at least.

Matt’s place first. Everything else could wait.

She balled a hand into a fist, letting her first finger sit up a little higher. She clenched her jaw and shoved the knuckle against her rib. The pain flared almost immediately and that seemed to shove every other emotion out of her head. For a second, she thought she heard them rattling to the ground as she doubled over.

Her entire body faded and was rebuilt, but that damned rib was still the bane of her existence.

It took a few minutes on the nearest rooftop and the help of her mask, but Livia soon had a path. She was moving quickly, with as much agility as her excited state could manage. She scrounged up enough control and focus to exist in a bubble, to block out every other emotion around her and just feel her own. It was still foreign but not as unusual as the other option.

She’d need to work on rebuilding her mental walls soon.

Her feet had landed on Matt’s rooftop when her phone rang. It pinged in her head and the sudden sound made her wince.

Livia had forgotten she had a phone. Hearing the familiar point echo in her skull, she felt a little silly.

“Hello?” She answered quickly.

“Liv?” It was June’s voice, but not the June she remembered. Her voice was mature now, confident. She had grown into who she was supposed to be and Livia had missed it. Tears welled in her eyes when June spoke again. “Is it really you?”

It almost brought Livia to her knees.

“It’s me.” Livia managed. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath before continuing. “Where are you? I’ll come to you.”

She heard a small chaos on the other end of the line. Vaguely, there was another voice there but it was too quiet for her to make out.

“I’m at your apartment… I kinda moved in while you were gone.” She laughed nervously. “I have so much to tell you.”

Livia smiled and her feet moved automatically. “I’m on my way. Who’s with you?”

Silence. The phone was exchanging hands. Livia could hear the small thud of it being pushed into another palm. Hushed encouragement came as well then a sigh, a hesitation, and finally a voice.

“Hey, Livvy.” Matt said softly and she stumbled over her own feet. She would’ve welcomed the crash just to confirm that she was real, that the moment was real. Matt wasn’t sure it was real either. Livia didn’t need her abilities to know that much.

She was struck again by how long it really was. Five years is enough to take hope from even the most optimistic. It made the weight of her disappearance all the more heavy on her shoulders.

“Hi, Matty.” Livia answered with the same tone, a swell in her chest at hearing the voices of her most beloved. If she wasn’t already off balance from the return and the portal home, she was dizzy then.

Her heart was pounding in her chest, blood rushing through her veins, heat flaring throughout her body. So many emotions raged war in her head, abused her via sensations. Her eyes were growing blurry and she couldn’t tell if it was from tears or just a loss of control. She was too overwhelmed to care either.

She trusted her feet and her body to get her where she needed to be. She knew the paths to her apartment like the back of her hand, always aware of how to get home.

One of the many rules of the Red Room that remained etched into her mind.

“God, is this real?” He sighed. His voice served as Livia’s tether to reality and kept her from spiraling into the abyss of emotions nipping at her heels, a dangerously strong riptide threatening to drag her under.

“I really hope so.” She laughed slightly.

She wanted to keep talking but she was at a loss for words. She had so many questions.

What had she missed? How was Karen and Foggy? Was Frank okay? Who else had disappeared? Did anyone explain what had happened?

She had no idea where to start.

“I have so many questions.” She settled on.

“We’ll answer all of them.” He answered. “As soon as you’re here, okay?”

“I’ll see you soon.”

Livia tapped her scar and picked up the pace. Her heart upped gears in her chest, not just from the sprints across rooftops. It was at the prospect of reuniting with her family. She felt a heat on her cheeks just from Matt’s voice.

He would know, she realized as she dropped onto her fire escape. He’d hear her heart, feel the heat of her skin, know her breath was fast and shallow. Livia had no defenses at the moment and maybe, just maybe, she didn’t want them. Maybe it was only right that she be laid bare before Matt in a way she almost never was before. Maybe it would be a relief to both of them or at the very least, remind them they’re both alive.

She pulled her mask to hang around her throat before she shimmied the window up. Her feet barely landed on the floor when a body collided with her. The impact was so sudden she worried she’d fall back through the window.

Livia was hit with a thundering wave of emotions. Disbelief, gratitude, relief, love. So much love. All the colored hazes and sensations mixed into a cacophony of an experience. It all made Livia sway slightly on her feet but the arms around her were like a vice. Hands were balled into the material of her top and the girl hugging her was shaking slightly.

“You’re here.” June mumbled against Livia’s shoulder. “You’re really here.”

Livia hugged her back with the same tightness. “I promised, didn’t I?” She answered, fighting back tears.

“Took you long enough.”

“You’re so grown now.” She laughed sadly.

June laughed and squeezed Livia tighter.

A hand landed on Livia’s shoulder and she looked over. There was Matt.

She was both thrilled and crushed. Both emotions mixed and brought tears to her eyes. She let them freely fall.

It was a relief to see him, to see the soft expression on his face. To have his tentative touch, like he wasn’t sure she was really there. She reached for his shirtfront and pulled him towards her without a word. The three stayed in that tight sandwich of an embrace for God knew how long.

The thing that made Livia’s stomach drop was the sudden understanding.

Neither June nor Matt felt the way she knew.

If there was any way for her to tell that time had passed, it was that.

Livia kept that to herself. She never mentioned it. Not when she was catching up with them, not even when she saw the rest of her friends again.

Foggy and Karen and Frank. All of them the same, all of them completely different people.

She never mentioned it while they worked to help Spiderman.

Livia and Matt were seated with the young vigilante at his aunt’s kitchen table while June lounged on the couch. She was giggling at her phone and typing furiously. Livia had made a face and meant to question it when Matt came back from his phone call with Foggy regarding the case.

“Well, I have some good news, Peter.” Matt announced, which drew her attention away from June. The girl didn’t even look up.

Who was she so interested in? Was the air around her pink or was it just the way the papers on the windows filtered the light?

“I don’t believe any of the charges against you are gonna stick.”

“Wait, seriously?” The boy smiled, sighing in relief. His aunt had a similar reaction and she couldn’t help but smile too. “Mr. and Mrs. Murdock, thank you. That’s amazing.”

“Oh, I’m not-“ Livia tried to argue. Matt decided she wouldn’t get a chance, simply giving her knee a small squeeze under the table.

“However, Mr. Hogan, the feds are actively investigating that missing technology.” Matt nodded.

Peter’s head cocked and his brows furrowed. He didn’t know about the missing tech or at least that the man across the table from him was potentially involved.

“We understand your loyalty to Mr. Stark and his legacy.” Livia began carefully. “My cousin spoke his praises from time to time.”

“Cousin?” Peter asked.

“Natasha.” She answered without looking.

“Cool.”

“If you are involved, I recommend securing a lawyer.” You finished.

“If- If I was involved?” Hogan began and she had to refrain from rolling her eyes.

His guilt was practically pouring out of him as he rambled on. Livia bit the inside of her cheek to keep any expression off and she felt Matt pat her leg under the table. She lightly kicked at his foot in response, a quiet signal that she was fine.

Briefly, she wondered if there were some signs her body was offering that he could pick up on. If he had noticed how vulnerable she was, Matt hadn’t addressed it.

“Regardless, Mr. Hogan.” Livia finally cut off the nonsensical babbling. “You’re going to need a really good lawyer.”

“You may have dodged your legal troubles but things will get much worse.” Matt explained to the younger boy. “There’s still the court of public opinion.”

Peter looked to his aunt and Livia felt Matt shift beside her. She looked over and noticed his head tilt, focusing in on something else. She leaned a little closer, intending to ask, but Matt spoke first.

“Don’t move.” He said lowly.

Livia didn’t, her eyes still on him. She traced the shape of his cheekbones, the line of his jaw, the length of his throat. She didn’t even flinch when the glass of the window broke and Matt’s hand shot out to catch whatever projectile came through. If there was one thing that hadn’t changed, it was Livia’s unwavering trust in Matt Murdock.

Livia could only laugh to herself. Matt flashed her a crooked smile.

“Show off.” She said quietly.

“Well.” He flashed her a full grin. “What can I say?”

After a moment, she looked back to the table and saw Peter had his hand out too, ready to catch the same thing. Based on where they were, it would’ve hit somewhere around the base of Livia’s skull.

“Woah.” June said from the couch. “Nice catch, Matt.”

“How did you do that?” Peter asked carefully. There was something in his voice. Not quite an accusation but a sense of knowing Matt was something more. His expression shifted to confusion and suspicion and Livia tried not to laugh.

“I’m a really good lawyer.” Matt reasoned, handing the brick to the younger boy. Livia elbowed him lightly in the ribs.

“Clearly, this isn’t something you can hide from.” Livia explained, hoping to divert attention away from Matt’s inability to maintain the secret of secret identity. “Popular opinion isn’t something that will change overnight. It may take a long time.”

“So what should he do?” Peter’s aunt, May, asked. Her eyes were full of worry for her nephew. Livia saw something of herself in the woman, a burning need to protect those she felt responsible for.

“Live his life.” June offered. Livia looked over her shoulder and saw June leaning her elbows on the arm of the couch with her knees on the cushion. “He’s still a teenager so he’s got his whole life to make vigilante fuck-ups.”

“June.” Livia warned.

“It’s true!” She defended. “I’d bet every vigilante fucks up, especially young ones.” Livia didn’t miss the way June tugged on her glove. “The point is that he can’t let this break him. So what if people don’t like him? It doesn’t change who he is. Right?”

“She may have a point.” Matt tried.

“Do not start with me.” Livia pointed a finger at him. With a smile, he gently grabbed hold of that finger and pushed her hand down.

The simple touch sent her into a manageable tizzy. His smile grew a bit and Livia knew her body had betrayed her. She reeled in her emotions as best she could, quietly cursed the Blip and its unraveling of her defenses, and returned focus to the conversation at hand.

All of it was doing nothing to counter Peter’s earlier misidentification of  ‘Mrs. Murdock’.

“Regardless, it could benefit you to find some allies among local heroes.” Livia suggested.

“He has the Avengers.” May offered.

“Right, but I think people closer to home may be better. There’s a trio in Hell’s Kitchen that might be a good start.”

“Hell’s Kitchen?” June parroted.

“There’s a girl relatively close to his age, calls herself Alter.” Livia continued, ignoring June’s addition. “She hangs around with Daredevil and his friend, Exodus.”

“Friend…” Matt mumbled with a slight nod. He cleared his throat before speaking again. “I think Livia is onto something. It’s not a bad idea.”

“Assuming you’re going to keep your spider persona going that is.”

The boy blew out a long sigh. “I’m not sure right now.”

Livia offered a kind smile. “Do what you think is best, kid. Everyone will have advice for you but ultimately, it’s your decision, okay? And hey, you know where to find us if you need a different perspective.”

The boy met her eyes for a moment and she shot him a wink. His eyes went wide with understanding and his gaze darted between Livia, Matt, and June. He smiled then, as if he was seeing who they moonlit as.

“Thanks.” His smile was so genuine it made Livia’s heart twist. “That means a lot.”

That was the last time she saw the boy without his mask. It wasn’t long until she forgot his name and his face. All she knew was that she had been Spider-man’s lawyer.

At least once a day since then, she looked over the New York skyline and hoped he was doing okay.

She still couldn’t tell Matt what was wrong when she told the office she’d be unavailable for a few days, maybe longer.

“What’s going on?” Foggy asked carefully as he came to join everyone. “Liv?”

“I was trying to tell Matt that I’ve gotta deal with something for my cousin starting tomorrow morning.” Livia explained. “It could be a while.”

“Your cousin?” Karen asked. “For Natasha?”

Livia titled her head side to side. Hearing her late cousin’s name was still a knife in the chest. Processing that kind of grief was a terrifying idea. For the time being, she was avoiding it like the plague.

“Yes and no. Yelena called… She wants my help.”

“Well, what with? I can come, too.” June offered. She had been suspiciously quiet while she sat at Matt’s desk, her feet kicked up on the surface.

“No, she said just me.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Take it up with Yellie, June.” Livia pinched the bridge of her nose. “The point is that I’m just gonna be offline for a week, maybe more.”

“Offline?” Foggy’s brows furrowed. “But you’ll be in town, yeah?”

“Yes, but-“

“Then why can’t I come?” June argued and jumped to her feet.

“Because it’s not up to me!” Livia snapped.

Matt sighed, rubbed a hand along his jaw. Foggy shared a worried glance with Karen. June glared at Livia like she wanted the woman’s hair to catch on fire.

“What aren’t you telling us?” Matt finally spoke. Livia didn’t miss the accusation layered in the question.

Everything.

“Nothing.” Livia answered.

“Liar.” June accused.

“Shut it.”

“Livvy?” Foggy tried. “We know something’s wrong… Talk to us.”

“I don’t want to.” Livia shrugged slightly. “I don’t want to talk about my dead cousin, how I wasn’t here when she died, how she sacrificed her life to bring me and so many others back. I don’t want to talk about losing five years while the rest of you were fine. I don’t want to-“

Her words stopped when she felt a tight grip on her hand. June had quietly made her way over and cut off Matt in getting to her. Livia saw the way Matt stood now, a few steps closer and pulling his hand back. She watched him press his lips into a line and step away, one single step that felt like a mile.

Livia wondered if that was intentional, if June put herself there on purpose. June would never do it maliciously. Livia knew that. Sometimes June was just so zoned in on one thing, she had no spatial awareness.

But there was something off with them. She realized it a few days after her return. They were shorter with each other, not snippy but just reluctant, as if they didn’t know how to talk to each other anymore. Livia had meaning to ask what happened but she also wanted them to tell her of their own accord.

They were hiding something, some sort of fight or argument that was sitting unresolved. It grated on her subconscious, lingering in her thoughts when they were all together, but she had no idea how to ask. Could she just come out and say “What’s going on between you two?” and expect the truth?

Matt was regretful, apologetic even. June was upset, bordering betrayal. Whatever happened was likely Matt’s fault.

Regardless, deep down Livia still yearned for Matt’s comfort.

It would’ve been so nice for him to have gotten to her, to hold her hand with the gentleness only he ever seemed to give her, to just be at her side. She wanted that more than anything. She wanted to go back to what they had before, for things to be normal again.

Maybe that was the new normal. Maybe the want and the yearn was all she’d be able to have where Matt was concerned.

She’d have to learn to accept it.

“Just be careful.” Matt said. Livia noticed something in his voice, not quite concern but something like it. Something that made her skin flush. “You have a habit of getting in over your head.”

Livia couldn’t help but laugh a little. Matt smiled at her response.

She could learn to accept it later… Right?

“When have I ever done that?” She said innocently.

Matt shook his head affectionately and came back over. Livia felt her heart stutter and she forced the emotion down. She tried to lock it in a neat little box but it fought back. She had to settle for the flush on her cheeks when he got to her. June nudged her with her elbow and Livia gently pushed the girl woman away. June giggled but went with it.

Matt gently took Livia’s hand and pushed her sleeve up enough that he could run a thumb over the circular scar of a bullet wound.

“That wasn’t my fault.” Livia reasoned.

“No.” Matt cracked half a smile. “Of course not. Not this one either, right?”

His hand landed on her stomach, fingertips pressing gently into where the scar from Dex’s knife sat.

“No, sir.” She shook her head.

“And these?” Without releasing her hand, he used the other to trail his fingers over the scar on her face, following the shape of her mask.

“Absolutely not.” She spoke, more breathless than she would’ve liked to sound.

It made Matt smile to himself.

“Should we give them some privacy?” Foggy asked, not bothering to whisper.

“Get a room!” June called out while laughing.

“Well hang on.” Karen said. “One of them is bound to do something stupid and ruin it.”

Livia peaked over Matt’s shoulder and saw the three huddled together, smiling as if they were plotting. Livia tried to frown but it didn’t quite work. She broke into giggles almost immediately. Matt didn’t bother to look. His focus stayed on Livia, almost as if she was the only other person in the room. As if he wanted to memorize something about who she was now.

“What do you think?” She faced Matt, who had leaned in a little closer. One hand had stopped to rest at the side of her face, his thumb gently moving against the hinge of her jaw. His other still held on to her hand. “Are they right?”

“It’s usually me.” He confessed. Again, she had to laugh. “I know you have to do this for Yelena.” He spoke quietly.

“That’s not all.” Livia tried to argue in the same quiet tone.

“I just need you to be careful, Livvy. Okay? We just got you back…”

Her heart twisted at the nickname and a new flush climbed her cheeks. She carefully pulled Matt’s hand off her cheek before he could piece anything together.

“I know, Matt.” She nodded, squeezing both his hands slightly. “Yel wouldn’t call if she didn’t think we could handle it. If you don’t trust her, trust me.”

“I do.”

“Good.” She smiled slightly. “I’ll see you in a few days.”

Matt hesitated. He opened his mouth to say something else then decided against it. He pressed his lips together, gave a quick nod, then stepped back. Livia’s friends came up after that and June was focusing a bit too hard. She could feel that familiar sensation of June’s power reaching out, like a ghost of fingertips on her forehead. She always wondered if anyone else ever felt it the way she did. Did they feel Livia’s power?

Livia glanced over, flicked her former shadow’s forehead, then laughed.

June was stunned, eyes wide as she dropped her power. Clearly, no one had thought to do that before. After a few seconds, she laughed about it.

“Take care of them.” Livia told June. “It’s like managing a bunch of toddlers but you’ll be alright.”

“I resent that.” Foggy commented. “I deeply, deeply resent that.”

“Love you, Fog.” She threw her friend a wink.

“Love you too, Liv.” He shook his head fondly before firmly pointing a finger at her. “But you’ve gotta come back in one piece. Nothing more than bruises or else I’m kicking your ass myself.”

“Oof.” June sucked a breath between her teeth. “He sounds serious, Liv.”

“I know.” Livia nodded.

“Okay, guys.” Karen said with a small laugh. “Foggy just worries. He’s a very concerned citizen.”

“Exactly!” Foggy announced, throwing his arms wide. “I’m gonna have to invest in backpack leashes for the both of you.”

“At least we’ll match.” Livia said to June.

Matt chuckled and June elbowed him in the ribs.

“I actually meant you two.” Foggy pointed to you and Matt.

June grinned in triumph and Matt scoffed in offense. Livia hid her laugh behind her hand.

It was as close to normal as she had gotten since her return. With everything in her, she wanted to stay in that moment, when everyone felt that the people she knew. People she’d lay down her life for. She still would, but that didn’t mean things weren’t different.

Generally, she felt like an outsider amongst her friends. It was like she showed up to a party late and everyone was well into conversations. She was on the outskirts. Usually, it wouldn’t bother her, but not with these people. Not with her people.

She still couldn’t tell them when she returned from Yelena’s mission. That was a flurry of emotion in its own right. Facing the grief of losing Natasha, the anger at Clint Barton for not doing more, the yearning to take her place, the regret of not being there, the frustration of Fisk lingering in her peripherals. She wanted to scream but she didn’t. She maintained her facade throughout, if only for Yelena’s sake, and screamed inside her head.

She forced those shaky walls to hold, to keep emotion away. She had to be strong for her little cousin, even if it was only a two year difference. At least since they both blipped, she didn’t have to lose that too. Seeing Yelena in that type of pain hurt Livia more than almost anything.

It didn’t feel right to leave Yelena after that. Her little cousin insisted that she was okay, that she just needed to be alone for a while. Livia, as stubborn as she was, knew better than to press her lethal family. Instead, she took Yelena’s phone and changed her lock screen to a photo of the two of them.

She held her cousin’s face in her hands.

“I want to take this pain away from you.” Livia said softly, her own eyes brimming with tears. Yelena’s expression was a mirror of her own and it made her heart hurt even more. “I so badly want to fix this.”

“Please.” Yelena’s voice broke.

“A friend of mine once said if we don’t feel this pain, we’ll never learn how to live through it.” She sniffled, repeating Matt’s words from so long ago. “You’re stronger than you know, Cousin. I can feel it… I love you, Yelena. I love you so much.”

“I miss her.” She whispered.

“I do too. But I’m only a phone call away. If you need anything, I promise I will come running.” Livia promised, hugging her cousin so tightly her own rib shifted beneath her skin. Thanks to a well-placed swing of Clint Barton’s bow, her bone was likely broken yet again.  Livia was too wrapped up in emotion to care.

She still didn’t tell anyone anything when Matt was slated to go to California.

“Just send June.” Livia shrugged when Foggy offered. She wasn’t looking at him, focusing on some papers on her own desk. “I’m fairly sure I’m on the TSA’s no fly list by now.” She tried to joke.

“You don’t like California?” Foggy asked instead.

“Never been, but it makes more sense for June. She’s his disability assistant sometimes, remember? And I think they’ve got something they need to work out.”

“Okay, sure, but I’m asking you to go.”

Livia didn’t miss the way Foggy purposefully changed the subject. It made her wonder what he knew about it.

“And I’m saying no.” She looked over at her friend working at his desk, though his work was seemingly abandoned. “What difference does it make?”

“Fine.” He dramatically sighed in defeat. “I didn’t wanna have to pull this card.”

Livia raised her brows in question. “Oh, it’s serious now. Hit me.”

“The guy Matt’s gonna defend, Luke Jacobson, he makes super suits. In addition to the firm’s fee-“

“We needed a case to pay the bills I take it.”

“Hundred percent. Anyways, he’s offered to make something for all of you guys.”

“All?”

“Daredevil, Exodus, and Alter.” 

“You made a deal for new suits for everyone? Even June?” She raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “That’s interesting considering you’re always the one saying that it’s irresponsible to let June come and the three of us together is too risky for our identities.”

“I wasn’t going to!” He defended. “Dealing with you two is stressful enough but I knew she’d know and then she’d be mad at me for not getting her something. I wasn’t gonna deal with her icing me out for a month!” 

“At least.” She nodded. “June’s so petty for someone so small.”

“Exactly!”

“You should’ve seen how bad she hated Billy Russo. The guy called her an ankle biter once and she never forgave him.”

“Can you blame her? That’s offensive.”

“Eh.” Livia shrugged. “I’m pretty sure June threatened to castrate him if he said it again.”

“Jeez…”

“Yeah, takes after her Uncle Frank I guess.”

“Oh yeah. Frank’s to blame for that.” He rolled his eyes.

Livia nodded innocently. “I’d never threaten a man with that. I’d just do it.”

“Okay, can we-“ He gestured vaguely. “Can we get back to the topic of LA? The suits were supposed to be a surprise, by the way. Thank you for that.”

“You chose to tell me!” Livia defended. “Still, I don’t know. I don’t think I can be alone with him like that.”

His head cocked and he pushed his chair all the way across the office to be beside her. She looked on with wide eyes and a laugh as he scooted closer.

“What did he do this time?” Foggy asked when he got to her side.

She smiled slightly. “He didn’t do anything.” She said honestly. “It’s just… me.”

“Oh… Well, what did you do this time?”

“I just need to work through some stuff.” Livia shrugged it off. She couldn’t bring herself to unload everything onto Foggy. Even though he had shown on more than one occasion that he’d support her through anything, it still felt too heavy a burden to put on him. “Maybe sending him across the country will be good for us.”

“So there’s still an ‘us’ with you guys, huh?” He joked, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

“Matthew and I are very complicated people, Franklin. Our situation is very fluid. It changes almost everyday.” She confessed. “But it’ll work out as it needs to. Fate and the universe and all that.”

“Hey.” He said softly, a gentle seriousness in his words. He took her hand and she made no move to refuse the touch. “You know he still loves you, right?”

“I know.” She nodded, even if she wasn’t quite sure in what way. “But you can’t tell me things aren’t different.”

“What do you mean?”

“C’mon, Foggy. Five years is a long time, especially when someone’s supposed to be dead.”

“Yeah but you were in and out for a few years back in college.” He shrugged.

“But I wasn’t dead.”

“You weren’t really dead this time either.”

“You’re not listening.” She pulled her hand away. “It’s fine, just… Just send June with Matt. I’ll cover his cases here while he’s gone.”

“Livia, I didn’t mean to-“

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, Foggy. Drop it.” She said with a gentle firmness as she turned back to papers. She hesitated, sighed, and spoke once more. “Please.”

“Yeah, okay…” He patted her back. “You know we’re all here for you, right? No matter what’s bothering you, we’re here. None of us are going anywhere.”

“I know.” She didn’t look up. She wasn’t even sure she believed it. “Thanks, Fog.”

“I’m serious, Livvy. You’re not alone.”

“Yeah…”

Wasn’t she?

He shuffled his chair a few feet away before spinning towards Livia once more.

“What if I told you you’d be arguing against Jennifer Walters?” Foggy tried.

“I’d say ‘who the hell cares?’ because I don’t know who that is.” Livia answered easily.

“I would then tell you she's a UCLA graduate.”

“Not impressed.”

“And if I said she’s She-Hulk?”

“I’d answer that with the fact that a bigger head doesn’t automatically make you smarter or better competition. The answer’s still no.”

“Worth a shot.” He shrugged.

Livia’s mind soon drifted back to the thought of not being alone.

To anyone else, her life seemed so full. A steady job at a locally successful law firm, a tight knit group of friends, allies across the globe, experience in various fields, a prodigé that’s become more like family. She was charming, smart, strong. She was kind and honest. All the best qualities a person could be.

But if anyone were to actually be inside of Alivia Yersova’s head, they’d find more comfort in a jail cell.

She felt hollow, like anything that could matter to her was scooped out or just wasn’t returned after the Blip.

She had unique abilities of pathokinesis, the power to manipulate the emotions, yet she couldn’t even register or control her own. The walls she had worked tirelessly at for years under Dreykov’s tutelage had shifted. Instead of protecting her from her own emotions and the feelings of others, it was as if she was trapped with them. She couldn’t keep her own feelings in check or away. She was supposed to blend, to remain a blank, unreadable slate to the outside world.

That was her armor.

No matter what she was going through, no matter who was beating her or taking from her or breaking her, the outside world saw nothing but composure. Nothing but control, nothing but power.

Yet, since she came back from the Blip, she had little control. She fell victim to the blushes and tears and panic. She could barely keep herself composed around Matt, someone who would flirt with a stop sign if he thought it’d make a difference. She had listened to the man talk his way out of problems and into beds since they were in college, and now one stupid smile had her cheeks rosy and her stomach in knots.

Livia hadn’t felt that disadvantaged with her powers since she was a child. It made her feel normal, like she was just a woman in love with the one idiot in New York every woman swooned for. She hated that feeling.

And her friends… Her friends would never understand. They wouldn’t see anything wrong with feeling, with being happy or sad or angry. They wouldn’t understand that it wasn’t about the feelings. Just because she controlled them didn’t mean she didn’t have them. Livia knew what it felt like to love, to fear, to loathe, to despair. She knew what every possible emotion felt like. She’d always known, but she had grown so accustomed to them being at her will. Not the other way around.

At least with June out of the apartment for a bit, Livia was able to sit within herself. She found that her walls weren’t necessarily gone but there were cracks, some deep and fissuring while others were spiderwebs. Enough were threatening to widen every day. She spent almost the entirety of each day when she wasn’t at the office mending the cracks, hoping to stabilize enough to not worry about a full on collapse.

It wasn’t done by the time June and Matt came back, but it was progress. 

When June got back from California, she made her annoyance very well known.

“Why would you do that?” June slammed the apartment door shut behind her.

Livia sighed to herself, paused her movie, and turned towards the younger woman storming into their shared living space. June made a point to throw down her bags and stand with hands on her hips and an expectant expression on her face. Livia swallowed the remark of how much she looked like Matt in that instance.

“Welcome home.” Livia said instead. “How was LA?”

“Don’t ’welcome home’ me!” June mocked. “Why would you do that?!”

“Do what?”

“Why make me go with him!”

“I’m sorry.” Livia innocently furrowed her brows. “Are you two going through something?”

June opened her mouth, hesitated, then closed it. She stared at Livia intently, that ghost of a sensation coming again. June was trying to subtly find out what Livia knew or what she suspected.

“Don’t go in my head, Bug.” Livia warned carefully.

“Sorry.” June muttered and the feeling instantly vanished. June crossed her arms if only to hide her hands. “Matt and I are just fine...”

“Then what are you mad about?” Livia prodded, knowing June was lying. “I thought you’d enjoy the sunshine and maybe find a cute boy, experience life outside the Kitchen.”

June’s cheeks immediately flushed bright pink. Livia suddenly had a new topic to fixate on.

“Unless you already have a cute boy?” Livia raised her brows with a teasing smirk. “Is that who you’re always texting?”

“I may be talking to someone, yes.” June said carefully but with a proud lift of her head. “He’s very cute, very sweet… I like him. I think? Maybe? I don’t know. It’s new.”

“Who is he?”

“No one you’d know.”

“That’s how we’re gonna do this?” Livia laughed slightly. “I’ve told you about every guy and you’re gonna hide your first crush?”

“I’m not hiding him!” June defended. “I just-“

“Don’t want to tell me.”

“Don’t know if it’s anything.”

“I can see the pink all around you.” Livia gestured. “Your eyes are basically little hearts.”

“Oh god.” June rolled her eyes. She came over and plopped beside Livia with a huff. “I’m scared he’ll be like Russo.”

Livia shifted to face June, a gentle hand on her leg.

“Why do you think that?”

June shrugged a shoulder. “He’s charming and pretty… What if there’s something demented about him?”

“Seems a bit harsh, don’t you think?” Livia tried.

“Or if we end up like you and Matt…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You guys are always falling over each other then at each other’s throats then crying your eyes out then screaming at each other. You’re in love with each other on Sunday and by Wednesday you’ve broken the other’s heart…”

Livia frowned at the observation. She knew her and Matt had no real stability but she hadn’t considered how obvious it could be for everyone else.

“I’m sorry.” Livia managed. “I know I haven’t given you the best examples of love and relationships.”

“No kidding.”

“But it’s a learning curve.” Livia continued. “Some parts of it you have to learn on your own. It’s scary and vulnerable to give so much of yourself to another person, not knowing what secrets they might hide. I had to learn that lesson the hard way… But I can promise you, if your guy was anything like Billy Russo, you’d know. If anyone would know, it’d be you.”

“I really try not to use that on him.” June fiddled with a seam of her glove. “It feels wrong.”

“I thought the same of mine at first, too.” Livia agreed. “Now I’m not saying to do a full deep dive for all of his deepest darkest secrets, if he has any. What I'm saying is that a little focus on what he’s already offering up to you isn’t all that bad.”

“Do you do that with Matt?”

“Matt wears his heart on his sleeve a good portion of the time. It doesn’t take mindwork to know what he’s feeling.”

“Can you tell?” June asked carefully. “When I’m trying to use it on you.”

“Sort of.” Livia nodded. “I’m guessing it has to do with my own stuff because I’ve never known Matt or anyone else to really acknowledge when I’m using mine on them unless it’s a drastic shift. It just feels like a really light, really faint touch.”

“What if I try it and he can tell and he freaks out?” June quietly panicked.

“You could try telling him. Lay all of this out for him and see what he says.”

“That doesn’t sound any better.”

“Yes, but it’s honest.”

“It’s terrifying.”

“That’s love, my dear.” Livia patted June’s leg. “Love is embarrassing and messy and fun and terrifying, but if it’s the right person, it’s the best feeling in the world.”

“But how do I know he’s the right person?”

“You just do.” Livia shrugged, immediately thinking of Matt.

She remembered when he implied she was the right person for him. With a pang in her chest, she wondered if he still thought that after five years.

When tensions seemed to have leveled, Foggy managed to wrangle everyone up at Josie’s. The night seemed to be a step towards normalcy and Livia was almost convinced things would work out.

June was laughing. Matt was poking fun at Foggy, who was across the bar flirting with Kirsten McDuffie. Karen was smiling and joining in. Livia sipped her drink with a small smile, hoping that it was the first real step towards finding her way back to her friends.