#ddadds things

Personally, I was deeply appreciative of the way they approached and framed Robert and Val’s relationship. I know it’s possible some may take issue with Val’s decision to “patch things up” with Robert. People who have been hurt aren’t obligated to forgive the people who hurt them. Generally, I agree with that sentiment, but the way Val and Robert’s relationship is written, it felt respectful to both Val and Robert, in ways they needed to be respected.

I generally find it objectionable when someone who was hurt is pressured into forgiving someone who has hurt them. Especially when the one who hurt the other does the pleading for forgiveness. Generally, I find it objectionable when the one who was hurt is presented as sluggish to forgive.

But, here, it felt to me that Val’s decision to reach out to her father comes entirely voluntarily from her side. She says she got tired of being angry for years: “That kind of bitterness... it poisons you, I think. I’m too young for that.” To me, Val’s decision is mostly for herself. She personally believes that holding onto this will hurt her, and it isn’t something she’s doing to assuage the burdened soul of her father.

At the same time, Robert never seems to pressure her for forgiveness, and he gives her the space she needs. Well, much of it is coming out of his self-loathing—but I appreciate that this self-hatred didn’t come with badgering the hurt party for forgiveness. My experience of this storyline in other media, there is badgering. Hell, Robert doesn’t even understand why anyone would do as Val does: “I have no idea why she’s even bothering to contact me now. I know I’m just gonna fuck it up like I always do.”

And, well, one of these days, I’ll go into Robert’s vices and his long struggle with recovery and self-improvement, and systems of support and cycles of neglect, but for now, I genuinely appreciate that the game takes the route that once he is pushed into taking the hand Val is extending, encouraged that it is possible to get better despite his repeated failures, Robert genuinely takes it to heart and takes the chance Val is giving him very seriously. It would’ve been belittling to Val if Robert was offered this patch without him continuing to make the efforts, and I was deeply relieved when Robert acknowledges he has a lot of work to do.