#dd14

if anyone had looked at it, they wouldn’t even have known it was désiré.

the picture had been taken during a dinner a few nights earlier.

the lighting was soft, his face wasn’t visible, and all that could really be seen was his hand resting on yours across the table.

it was the kind of picture hundreds of people posted every day.

except that when you had shown it to him and said you will post it, he had said no again, just like he always did.

at first you hadn’t even argued because you were used to hearing that it wasn’t the right moment, he wanted to protect your privacy, football made things complicated and that people online could be weird.

you had accepted all of that for a long time because you understood his career, the attention and that fame came with things most people never had to think about.

the problem was that somewhere along the way, protecting the relationship had started feeling a lot like hiding it.

and there was a hug difference between protecting it and hiding it.

you had been together for almost two years and yet anyone looking at his social media would think he was single.

there was no trace of you anywhere.

sometimes you wondered if people would even believe you were his girlfriend if you told them and that thought hurt more than you liked admitting because it wasn’t really about instagram. it was about wanting to feel like you existed in his life.

every time he said no, that feeling grew a little stronger so when he refused this photo too, something inside you finally snapped.

the conversation had started calmly, then hurt had appeared after frustration.

months of bottled-up feelings came pouring out all at once and now you were standing in the living room while désiré looked completely confused.

from his perspective, he was doing what he had always done, what he thought was protecting the relationship.

he genuinely didn’t understand why you were upset and that made everything worse.

“it’s not about the photo!” your voice shook.

“then what is it about?”

“you seriously don’t know?”

his brows furrowed because he didn’t.

he knew you were upset and he’d done something wrong. he just didn’t understand what.

“i feel invisible.”

the words hung between you and for the first time he looked genuinely stunned, as if he’d never considered that possibility.

“what?”

“i feel invisible.”

“you aren’t.”

“really?”

he opened his mouth and closed it because suddenly he wasn’t sure.

you folded your arms, trying not to cry.

“you know what’s funny? everyone knows who your teammates, your friends are and everyone knows where you go on vacation.”

his face was falling more and more with every word.

“but apparently me, i’m some kind of secret.”

“that’s not true.”

“it feels true.”

he hated hearing that because he knew you weren’t lying.

he could hear it in your voice and see it in your face. you was hurt. months and months of hurt and suddenly he remembered all the little moments.

all the times you’d looked disappointed when he asked someone not to post a picture, all the times you’d smiled and said it was okay and all the times he’d assumed everything was fine because you never pushed.

he’d been so focused on protecting the relationship that he hadn’t noticed what it was costing you.

“i’m not hiding you.”

“then why does it feel like you are?”

he didn’t have an answer.

every excuse that had always sounded reasonable in his head suddenly sounded weak.

he looked at you and saw the tears you were trying to hold back and the sadness. something inside him twisted painfully.

this was the person he loved feeling unwanted because of him.

“i never wanted you to feel like that.”

“well, i do.”

he felt those words like a punch. he knew how much he loved you, everyone close to him knew. he talked about you constantly, looked for you in every crowd, called you every chance he got and built his entire life around you without even realizing it.

yet the one person who needed to feel that love wasn’t feeling it, which meant he had failed somewhere.

he sat down heavily on the couch suddenly exhausted.

he was finally seeing everything from your perspective and honestly it looked terrible.

if he were you, he’d probably be hurt too.

you stood there, not knowing what else to say.

the fight had burned through all your energy and now all that remained was sadness.

“i think i got so scared of losing this… that i started treating it like something that needed to be hidden.”

that was the first thing he’d said all night that actually felt honest.

“and i didn’t realize i was hurting you.”

you could see it now.

he wasn’t ashamed of you and wasn’t trying to erase you.

he had simply become so obsessed with protecting the relationship from the outside world that he’d forgotten about protecting your feelings inside it.

that realization hurt less than the alternatives. still, it didn’t erase two years of frustration and judging by the guilt on his face, he knew that too.

désiré had of course imagined meeting his daughter for the first time, but he hadn’t imagined sitting cross-legged on the floor of your apartment while a two-year-old repeatedly put plastic vegetables on his head.

yet that was exactly what was happening and strangely, it was one of the happiest moments of his life.

“banana,” her tiny hand placed a toy banana on top of his curls.

“thank you,” he smiled.

another vegetable followed and your daughter seemed extremely proud of herself.

he was starting to realize she enjoyed making people look ridiculous, which reminded him of someone.

his eyes drifted briefly toward you.

you were sitting on the couch nearby watching them, trying not to smile too much.

he immediately narrowed his eyes. “that’s your fault.”

“what is?”

he pointed toward the little girl currently attempting to balance a plastic tomato on his shoulder.

“this.”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

his daughter looked between both of you then burst into giggles despite having no idea what was happening.

the sound hit him right in the chest every single time since this afternoon.

he still wasn’t used to it, sometimes he would look at her and his brain would simply stop working because how had he lived for two years without knowing her?

he pushed the thought away immediately.

he’d spent enough time being angry and today he wanted to focus on her.

the little girl suddenly crawled into his lap as if she’d known him forever, it was the most surprising part of all this.

you had warned him that she might be shy, need time and be uncomfortable around a stranger but instead she’d decided that he belonged to her.

within twenty minutes she’d climbed into his lap, thirty she’d stolen his phone and forty she’d started demanding piggyback rides.

désiré wasn’t complaining.

“dada.”

his heart immediately stopped.

the word was still new, she’d only started using it after you’d carefully explained who he was and every single time she said it, he felt like someone had reached into his chest and squeezed his heart.

“yes?”

she held up a stuffed rabbit. “bunny hungry.”

désiré nodded and she gasped.

the next ten minutes were spent feeding invisible food to the stuffed animal.

you watched the entire thing from the couch because this wasn’t the man you’d argued with in the park weeks ago, the furious man who’d looked at you like he didn’t know whether to scream or cry.

every wall disappeared whenever he looked at his daughter.

the little girl suddenly grabbed his cheeks with both hands, forcing him to look directly at her.

“no.”

désiré blinked. “no?”

“no.”

he looked confused. “what did i do?”

“no.”

she pointed at the bunny, he’d fed it incorrectly.

“my bad.”

she accepted the apology then continued her game.

you was trying to repress your laugh but it didn't work.

“don’t laugh,” he said offended.

your daughter immediately stood up, wobbling slightly then ran toward the kitchen.

désiré was on his feet instantly before she’d even reached the doorway or stumbled.

his body reacted automatically by pure instinct and both of you froze because that overwhelming need to make sure she was okay was new for him.

he’d only known her for a few weeks and it's the first time he saw her but yet he already understood why parents worried constantly.

the little girl reappeared carrying a blanket twice her size and dragged it across the floor then dropped it directly onto désiré’s legs.

“okay.” he looked down. “what are we doing?”

“sleep.”

you immediately smiled, pretending it was every time bedtime was another one of her habits, even one of her favorite games.

she loved making everyone lie down and now it was désiré’s turn.

“you have to.”

you informed him.

“have to?”

“yes.”

the little girl nodded.

“sleep.”

désiré glanced between both of you.

“fine.” he sighed as he lay down on the floor without complaint.

there was apparently nothing he wouldn’t do for her.

the little girl looked delighted and she threw badly the blanket over him then climbed onto his stomach.

silence settled over the apartment as désiré looked up at the ceiling while his daughter sat proudly on top of him.

there was something emotional about seeing them together, watching him learn her habits or discover the details that made her who she was.

his daughter eventually curled up against his chest suddenly sleepy for real this time.

her thumb drifting toward her mouth and her eyes becoming heavier.

désiré looked down at her, his expression immediately softened and you knew exactly what he was thinking because you’d seen that look before.

he gently brushed a curl away from her face, the same curls he has, careful not to wake her.

he looked up at you.

his voice was almost a whisper. “she snores.”

you stared then started laughing because after everything, the first major discovery he made about his daughter was that she snored like a tiny truck.

judging by the completely fascinated look on his face, he thought it was the most adorable thing in the world.

you bring it up constantly, every single day because désiré genuinely tries to act bold around you sometimes but he can't.

like when he attempts to flirt confidently, he immediately gets embarrassed afterward, or when he says something smooth he hides his face in your neck because apparently he can’t handle his own flirting.

you bully him for it every time.

right now, désiré has one hand in his pocket while the other stays loosely around your waist, listening to you yap about something in the parking, after one of his match. until you suddenly smirk at him again.

“what now?”

“nothing.”

“it means something.”

“i just think it’s funny,” you smile innocently.

“what is?”

“that you act all tough on the pitch but get nervous because i look at you too long.”

he groans instantly.

“see?”

“you never stop!”

“because you're cute.”

he shakes his head while trying not to smile and then you make it worse, again.

“you’d probably combust if you had to actually be bold with me.”

you don’t notice the silence immediately, too busy smiling to yourself but désiré goes very quiet beside you.

you glance over.

he's just staring at you with a calm look that instantly makes your stomach tighten.

“what?” you ask carefully.

“you talk a lot,” he says quietly.

you blink in confusion and he steps closer slowly, your smile grows immediately.

“because i’m right.”

he exhales once through his nose and his eyes stay locked on yours this time.

“désiré?”

“you really think i’m not bold?”

your heartbeat speeds up embarrassingly fast because his whole energy changed suddenly.

his hand tightens slightly against your waist before he leans down closer.

after his match, when most people had left, you kept going while you walked with him toward the underground parking.

“it’s cute how you get nervous touching me in public,” you said with a smirk. “afraid someone’s gonna see how much you want me?”

désiré suddenly grabbed your wrist and pulled you between two big cars in the dimly lit parking garage.

he pushed you against the side of a black suv, his body pressing hard into yours.

“you think i’m shy?” he growled, voice low and dangerous. “you’ve been running that mouth all fucking day.”

before you could answer, he kissed you roughly, tongue invading your mouth as one hand slid under your skirt, pushing your panties aside.

his fingers found you already wet.

“always teasing me,” he muttered against your lips. “let’s see if you can handle me when i stop being nice.”

he spun you around fast, pressing your chest against the cold car window. you gasped as he yanked your skirt up over your hips and pulled your panties down to your knees in one move.

“désiré… someone might see,” you whispered, suddenly nervous.

“you wanted bold, right?” he said, freeing his hard cock and rubbed the thick head along your soaked slit. “now take it.”

he thrust into you in one deep stroke, burying himself completely and you moaned loudly, the sound echoing in the garage.

he didn’t give you time to adjust. he started fucking you hard and fast, hips slamming against your ass with wet, filthy sounds.

“fuck… so tight,” he groaned, one hand gripping your waist, the other tangled in your hair. “this what you wanted? me fucking you like this where anyone can walk by?”

you could barely answer, moaning with every brutal thrust.

your hands pressed against the car window as he pounded into you, deep and relentless. the risk of getting caught only made everything hotter.

he leaned over your back, biting your shoulder while his cock stretched you open again and again.

“tell me,” he demanded, slapping your ass.

“yes… fuck, i wanted it,” you whimpered, pushing back against him.

désiré growled and fucked you even harder, the car rocking slightly with every thrust. his hand slipped around to rub your clit in fast circles, making your legs shake.

voices echoed somewhere in the distance but he didn’t slow down. if anything, it made him thrust deeper until you reach the orgasm at the same time.

“maybe i was being nice before,” he says while soothing your skirt.

your mouth opens slightly but nothing comes out, which makes him smile.

“what happened?” he murmurs softly. “thought you liked teasing me.”

you stare at him in shock, because where did this version of him come from?

“yeah,” he says quietly. “that’s what i thought.”

he takes your hand and starts walking again like he didn’t just completely flip the situation on you.

“you’re quiet now,” he points out innocently.

you narrow your eyes. “shut up.”

the fact that you were still in paris while he was on the other side of the world was the hardest part of the world cup.

you couldn’t just put your life on pause because he had an international tournament, you still had university and exams so while he spent his mornings training, you spent yours half-asleep in lecture halls.

the time difference made things more complicated, he’d wake up to your goodnight texts and you’d wake up to his goodnight messages but despite everything, you managed to talk all day.

you:

good luck for training today

don’t get yourself injured

désiré:

i’ll try

you:

it isn’t reassuring

désiré:

i’ll be fine don't worry baby

you:

good because i still expect our facetime tonight

désiré:

yes ma’am

he always texted you, sometimes he opened your conversation without even realizing it just to reread something you’d sent earlier.

you:

my professor has been talking for forty minutes and i still don’t know what this lecture is about

désiré:

sounds exciting

you:

i walked past our bakery today

they still had your favorite pastries

it made me sad :(

désiré:

buy one

eat it for me love

you:

that’s EVEN sadder

he couldn't say he didn't miss you, he missed walking you home after class, hearing you complain about your professors, stealing food off your plate and especially falling asleep on facetime when one of you was too tired to say goodnight properly.

one afternoon, after training, the team was relaxing in the hotel lounge, some players were playing cards and others were watching football.

désiré was sitting on one end of the sofa, completely focused on his phone.

you:

guess what!!

i got 18/20 on my presentation!!!

désiré:

seriously??

i’m proud of you 🫡❤️

you:

thank you 🥹

i wish you were here

désiré:

me too

i miss you

you:

miss you too dez

you would’ve been forced to celebrate with me

désiré:

forced?

you:

yes

ice cream

your treat

he smiled to himself and didn’t really notice one of his teammates, ousmane, walking behind the sofa until a voice suddenly came from right over his shoulder.

“...aww.”

désiré nearly dropped his phone and immediately locked it, looking up.

his teammate was grinning way too much.

“what?”

“nothing. you just sent a heart.”

désiré immediately felt his face heating up.

“mind your business.”

“what happened?” kylian asked.

“désiré’s texting his girlfriend,” ousmane smiled.

every head in the room turned toward him and he closed his eyes for a second.

“show us.”

“no.”

“just one message.”

“no!”

“what’s her contact name?” ousmane asked.

“no.”

“what’s her contact name?” kylian repeated.

“it’s definitely something embarrassing.”

“my love.”

“angel.”

“princess.”

“future wife.”

désiré covered his face with one hand.

“none of those.”

“then tell us.”

“no.”

“why not?”

“because you’ll make fun of me.”

“we’re already making fun of you.”

someone tried reaching for his phone and he instantly pulled it against his chest.

“absolutely not.”

“there are secrets in there.”

“exactly.”

his phone buzzed again.

everybody noticed.

“she texted,” ousmane narrowed his eyes.

kylian laughed. “answer, read it!!”

“tell us what she said.”

désiré sighed before unlocking his phone and without meaning to, he smiled. the room exploded immediately.

“look at him smiling.”

“he’s gone.”

“awww he’s in love.”

“look at his ears,” lucas added.

they were bright red and désiré wanted the floor to open beneath him.

you:

did training go well?

are you secretly ignoring me 🤨

désiré:

training went well

but i got bullied 2 minutes ago tho

you:

huh

désiré:

they saw me texting you

you:

HAHAHAHAHA

did they make fun of you?

désiré:

yes

i've already said it but i miss you

you:

i miss you too cutie

now survive your teammates 🙌🏼