#dc networking

First date jitters. They happen to everyone. After all, because it's likely you barely know each other, one minor misconception could be the difference between a budding romance and complete disinterest. I'm constantly being asked by my guy friends for suggestions of where to take several way-too-many girls out on dates, and my answer always varies depending on the person asking the question. Especially when initially getting to know one another, it's essential to choose a restaurant or bar (or activity) very wisely--often times, it will say a lot about your interests as well as your values and who you are as a person. (*Ladies, I always say that bonus points should be given if you're taken to a spot you've never been to before. As a lifestyle writer, that's only happened to me once. I hate to admit that I was mildly impressed, as he gloats about it still.)

While the importance of choosing a venue is certainly a prevalent ideal in the personal lives of Washingtonians, the same rule absolutely applies in business as well. One should put as much effort into choosing a restaurant or bar for a professional meeting as they would with a date they're really trying to impress. If you've lived here for some time, I'm sure you've noticed by now that very little business actually takes place in Washington DC offices. Even if one isn't a regular telecommuter, most professional interaction (and business, for that matter) in the District is done while eating or drinking--specifically, either over lunch or happy hour drinks. Because a DMV resident's career will likely involve a lot of time spent in meetings held at a restaurant or bar, one must ensure that the venue compliments them positively and reflects who they are as a person.

Since Washingtonians are overly-prepared for everything, I'd expect that you've done some serious research into the restaurant or bar for your affair. While it's isn't essential to suggest somewhere you've been to previously, not doing your homework on the location before-hand is a huge mistake and can really haunt you. (As well as make you look like a complete asshole.) That's why there are several things one must consider when choosing a spot outside the office for business-related gatherings--it really is a reflection of your professional (and often personal) life.

In my rarely humble opinion, here are the top points to think about when choosing a venue for a business meeting:

"Um, I'm sorry. I don't eat meat." When researching a restaurant or bar for professional affairs, it's always a good idea to do a little digging into the person you're meeting with as well. For example, it would be a huge mistake to bring a vegetarian (or vegan, for that matter) to a steakhouse. There's nothing wrong with simply asking who you're meeting if they have any dietary restrictions or preferences. If they don't, it's an easy question to answer. And if they do, they'll definitely appreciate (and be impressed by) your consideration. While it's not necessary to choose a spot that cooks up just veggie-friendly dishes, make sure that there are at least a few options available. That way, you can save yourself the awkward, embarrassing response quoted above.

".....WHAT DID YOU SAY? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER ALL THE TOURISTS!" As Washingtonians gather during lunch or happy hour on a regular basis, most spots are likely to fill up quick year-round. From March to October however, the experience is more comparable to a nightmarish zoo rather than a buzzing and chic venue--thanks of course, largely entirely to my least favorite people ever: tourists. Because restaurants and bars are much busier during high tourist season, it's vital that you opt for a place where the noise level will be conducive to a having a business conversation. If the person you're talking to with either misunderstands or doesn't hear you at all because it's too noisy, no effective communication can take place. Period. Calling the restaurant or bar before-hand and asking about their noise during peak times may give you some insight on when it'd be best to schedule a meeting.

"This is an A and B conversation..." A good way to ensure an appropriate volume level is to select a place that offers some sense of privacy as well. Especially in a city where a great deal of information is confidential, a well-spaced locale with tables tucked in corners or in private rooms is certainly a nice touch. (And you'll actually be able to hear and participate in the conversation without screaming.) Not only does it give the impression that you're solely focused on the meeting at hand, but that you respect the confidentiality of conversation as well. Trust and integrity play a large part of life in Washington DC in any situation, regardless if it's business-related or not.

"Seeing as I don't have a car, getting to the other side of the world will be challenging..." If you initiated or requested the meeting, don't forget that they're doing you a solid by accepting. Because of that, it's simply good business to select a restaurant or bar that is easily accessible for those you're collaborating with. Simply put, you should make their journey as painless as possible. Find out where they will be coming from and try to choose a venue that's either nearby or a few metro stops away. Aside from making it more convenient for your contact, it shows that you respect their time and busy schedule by requiring them to commute as little as possible. Remember, their experience with you should be an entirely positive one, starting from when they first stepped out the door. And in this blistering Washington summer heat, everyone appreciates short walks and metro rides.

"I didn't know dining in the dark was the latest rage...?" There's nothing wrong with having having a little ambiance at any affair. The important thing however, is to know what setting is appropriate for the occasion. While dim lighting and deeply-colored hues may be romantic when out on a date, it's not usually the best for business meetings. If you're sharing printed documents or contracts, insufficient lighting will make the process an extreme nuisance and nothing will get accomplished. Instead, a brightly lit spot will convey your enthusiasm while allowing swift movement through any agenda. Likewise, it's also worthwhile to look into the decor of the establishment before finalizing your selection. If you're a particularly artsy person, it could be a cool idea to suggest a locale situated in an art gallery. (Bistro 18 in Adams Morgan is an example.) If books are your thing, then check out Kramerbooks near Dupont Circle. Suggesting a spot that reflects your interests works to show your contact what's important to you. For the millionth time, networking is SO MUCH easier (and more effective) when you're respected both professionally and personally. This a minor detail that puts a very individualized (and memorable) cherry on top of the business cake, subtly allowing you to convey your personality while also being professional.

"I hear this place has the best [insert food/drink here]!" If there's one thing that Washingtonians love, it's a sure thing. Opting for a locale that is actually known for something is one of the best ways to ensure that your meeting will both be problem-free but memorable as well. Whether it be out-of-this world delicacies or a oh-so-strong drink, look for restaurants or bars that have won awards for being the best in their specific niche. Not only is it a great conversation starter with your contact, but it'll decrease the chances of a poor dining experience.

"Let's go say hello to my friend [insert name here]. He/She is working tonight." It goes without saying that the absolute best connections to make are with those who can really make things happen for you--and in my experience, those individuals always seem to work in the service industry. Sure, the purpose behind this extensive research and preparation is most likely to impress a contact whose job connects with yours. However, it is the bartenders, waitstaff, bouncers, hosts, and valets that actually get things moving in Washington DC. (Or any big city, for that matter.) They not only control the timeliness of your service, but the quality as well. Because of that, arranging a business meeting at a venue where you know someone working is one of the best ways to ensure a successful affair. This way, you know that your contact will have the best experience possible while looking well-connected at the same time. (And depending on how close you are, you could even get comped drinks! Doubly impressive and a money saver too!)

"I love a good Bourbon selection." I'll keep this point short and sweet: you can never go wrong when the restaurant or bar has a solid, well-rounded booze list. Again, do some research. Find out what your contacts enjoy drinking the most and choose a place that has a wide-array of their favorites. Doing so goes beyond being prepared, it greatly increases your chances of closing too. (After all, when one is presented with a drink they love, it's real difficult to keep it to just one... let's be honest.) It's even better if you also enjoy a similar type of alcohol (whether it be wine, beer, or liquor) as it gives you another thing in common with your contact that isn't work-related.

"Is this place WiFi accessible?" Like I mentioned previously, little business in the Washington DC area is actually conducted within an office. Therefore, the availability of internet access can easily become a really attractive feature of a restaurant or bar--especially when holding a business meeting. Even if you don't bring your computer or tablet along with you for the ride, most smart phones of today work faster with available WiFi access. This added option always makes a professional gathering run more smoothly, as online information can be easily accessed and referenced at any time. Just in case of emergencies, it's always nice to be able to turn wherever you are into a mobile office. It increases your productivity while working to tackle the tasks for which your meeting was called for in the first place.

If you've made a feeble attempt to network yourself (i.e. meet people) in the Washington DC area, chances are good you've found it on the easier side. While most won't readily approach you, simply striking up a small-talk conversation is usually all it takes to connect with others--regardless of whether the setting is personal or professional. In fact, I often hear my newly imported friends get very flustered in the first few months after arrival because of the massive amount of people they've met in a short period of time. I've said it before and I'll say it again, life in Washington DC moves pretty fast.

One who has put in at least this much effort has also likely collected an enormous amount of business cards. (With so many names to remember, it's a huge mistake to not carry one on you at all times. Write that down.) Unfortunately, many newbies think that the exchange of contact information is the full-extent of networking in the nation's capital, no other action required. I can personally attest to this, as I've seen dozens and dozens of business cards pile up in my friends' rooms, doing little more than collecting dust.

This, my Washingtonians-in-training, is absolutely not the proper use of these little pieces of paper. If you're not going to do anything with the connection you've made, what was the point of talking to them in the first place? If that's the case, it was a complete waste of time. Remember that making the initial connection is the first step, not the only step. After exchanging networking information, one must make additional efforts to develop and maintain that contact--especially if it's one you may want a favor professional assistance from some day.

The importance of moving past operative one is something I was reminded of recently at a networking event I attended. While most of the social gatherings held by The Wine Cooperative are highly populated, the Robert Mondavi Winery dinner was small and intimate. As I mingled and ate with acquaintances who've transformed over time into familiar faces, I found the exclusive nature of the event to be a positive thing. Instead of being a social butterfly, my time was devoted to catching up with those I already knew--a vital piece to Washingtonian networking. Just like building a friendship (or romantic relationship), simply spending time with a contact is the best way to build a solid connection. And of course, this isn't a process that happens overnight.

For those of you who aren't exactly sure on how to go about building that relationship, fear not. Here are four things that every Washingtonian should do after first meeting a potential (and valuable) networking contact:

Remind Them of Your Existence by Following Up Just like it's customary to send a thank-you email after interviewing for a job, it's also a really good idea to follow-up with people that you network with as well. The day after meeting a new contact, just send a quick message that not only reminds them who you are but shows you're appreciative of their time. Because one meets so many people on a regular basis in Washington DC, following up is essential to being memorable and developing a relationship that goes beyond social acquaintances. This simple and small gesture can go a long way, especially if the contact is someone that could help you advance professionally. Most importantly, taking the time to send a message will keep the conversation going. By elongating the dialogue between the two of you, it will be easier to discover shared interests and goals, developing a relationship based on this common ground. I've said it a million times, but it's significantly easier to work with people when you're respected professionally and personally. Showing your interest in (and appreciation of) your contact's experience and time will help garner that respect.

Initiate Another Meeting for Additional Communication During the course of your continued correspondence, ask your contact if there is a time in the near future in which they'd be available to meet with you one-on-one. Whether that be for lunch, coffee, or happy hour drinks, the idea is to initiate another meeting where the atmosphere is a more intimate one--the full attention during this get-together should be focused on getting to know each other better. (Again, you want to extend the conversation past this meeting as well, so that it leads to future ones.) This not only gives you both an idea of what the other is really about, it also adds to the experiences you've shared,  ultimately creating a stronger connection. While chatting with your contact, discuss their background and experiences as well as your own professional goals. Chances are good that they'll at least be able to provide valuable insights, if not introduce you to others who could better help you advance. Make sure to keep the conversation light and cherry, including personal tidbits as well. Just because you met them in a professional capacity doesn't mean that a great friendship can't be born at the same time and vice versa. By letting your contact know who you are and where you'd like to go, it shows that their opinion is valued in the process. Convince them of this, and they'll want to help you. This will also prompt your contact to actively participate in the budding relationship you've now formed, as opposed to taking a hands-off, complacent role. And as always, after meeting with your contact, FOLLOW THAT SHIT UP. You can never send enough thank you emails, in my opinion.

Be The First to Present and Deliver Your Personal Value By now, you've likely gotten a good sense of what your contact appreciates and is looking for not only in professional relationships, but personal ones as well. After following up and arranging a one-on-one meeting, it's important to present ways in which you may be valuable to this person. Whether that means opening your Roladex to them, offering your services or recommendations for their personal business, or even watching their dog for a weekend--doesn't matter. Regardless of what value you present, it works to continue the conversation and develop the connection as well. Remember, nobody likes a person that sits at a table and brings nothing to it. If you're ever going to want a favor or professional assistance from this person, you've got to give them some concrete reasons of why they'd spend time helping you. In my personal business, I zealously put myself at the service of my clients and vendors on a regular basis. By employing this method, I build trust and respect within our relationship, leading my contacts to offer me favors far before I ever consider asking for them. (I will wait years and years with some before requesting anything.) These of course, are absolutely fine to accept as it further works to develop your connection. And then, when assistance is really needed, you've already given them several reasons to bend over backwards to provide it.

Always, Always Repay the Favor The fourth and final step is important, regardless of which side of the networking coin you reside on. The karma ideology behind "what goes around, comes around" is certainly true in all aspects of life, including your professional career. Even if the opportunity doesn't immediately present itself, one should always be looking for the chance to repay the favors granted by networking contacts. Aside from giving you more opportunities to spend time with that person (and keep the conversation going), it shows your appreciation and gratitude for what they've already done for you. Recently, I was beyond thrilled when I was able to put my event planning friends from Ronald Reagan Building on the list for an event I was invited to--instead of the other way around. While it's normally them including me in their networking events and opportunities, the Violet Boutique Summer Look Book Party provided me a time where I could reciprocate their generous invitations. Not only did this show that I truly care and am interested in developing a professional and personal relationship with them, but that I'm incredibly grateful for the favors they graciously do for me. (And that I'm willing to do them the same courtesy, when provided the opportunity.)

At the end of the day, relationships in whatever capacity are not formed instantaneously. Instead, they must be nurtured, developed, and built piece-by-piece. To be successful in navigating the difficult Washington DC networking scene, it's important to actively pursue and participate in this process. Once a connection is established, DMV residents are among the most helpful in sharing their time, knowledge, and avocation. They will not be the ones to initiate it, however. Instead, a newbie must actively create and guide these relationships. Trust me, half the battle of Washingtonian success is simply putting yourself out there. If you take the time and make the effort, not only will your Roladex expand and career advice, but you'll learn a lot about yourself as well.

Perhaps it's my love of excess, but some of the most worth-while things in Washington DC are found in well-blended and integrated groups. Whether it's the cluster of shitshow dive bars on 18th Street in Adams Morgan or a food and booze-packaged brunch, life in the District can sometimes seem to run together. (...if I didn't have my desk calendar, I probably wouldn't know what day of the week it was... sad, but true.) And for those who are new to the Washington DC metro area, blending in with the rest of the DMV may seem like a really high priority--especially if one doesn't have a ton of friends, without a job, or is particularly shy. (Or a combination of the three...)

Of course, this feeling doesn't just apply to those freshly imported to the District or 20-somethings for that matter. For example, looking in the mirror today is a far different experience than that of childhood and teen years. I'll admit it: being an awkwardly self-conscious and slightly overweight adolescent with mild acne and glasses, all I wanted to do through middle and high-school was to simply blend in with everyone else... and I did my best to do just that (...until I got contacts, my skin cleared up, and I shed awkward teen weight, of course). Although I eventually found that mixing in was done easiest by those without the curse gift of gab, I really wanted what I thought every other girl my age had: the coolest outfits, the cutest boyfriends, and a slender figure to be proud of. Simply put, I just wanted to be good at blending in; minimizing the distinctions between me and my girlfriends as much as I possibly could.

Although wanting to be a member of the "popular" crowd during my teen years can be considered an immature and juvenile example (...get real ladies, can you honestly say you still don't didn't?), fusion can be good in some cases. For new Washingtonians, finding and integrating into groups with shared interests is one of the easiest ways to make friends, as well as expand your professional Rolodex. Without sounding like a cliché college brochure, Washington DC really does have something for everyone--making it fairly easy to not only seek out, but join the ranks of like-minded DMV residents socially and professionally.

However, use caution DC rookies: while completely merging oneself into the general masses is the easiest option, it certainly isn't the best option. For the sake of keeping it real in 2012, the District is pretty damned competitive in almost every way. Regardless of the which top-notch university was attended or the length of a resume, every other 20 to 30-something in Washington DC is just as educated and experienced as you, if not more so. Sure, one can swiftly blend into the background of blackish-grey work suits and piles of resumes residing in the garbage... but of course, neither is a positive thing. Because of this, it is essential to make yourself stand out and be memorable--especially in a city where everyone tries so hard to blend with the group. (It could be something as simple as a brightly-colored accessory, for example. Bonus points if it's a worthy conversation starter.) Otherwise, you'll risk being quickly forgotten by those who could be potential friends and business contacts--a sure-fire way to not get ahead in the at-times, cutthroat DMV.

Even for long-time Washington DC residents, maintaining this delicate balancing act can still be a concern. I can attest to this, as the notion of "blending" was a featured topic at an event I attended yesterday at the Ronald Reagan Building & International Trade Center. Being an avid fan of the alcoholic arts, it didn't take much for a sampling and presentation hosted by the newly-formed Wine Cooperative to spark my interest. But once I discovered that those attending the invitation-only gathering would taste scotch whiskey, my all-time favorite liquor, I knew this was an event I just had to attend. (And after all of the business cards I received attending the Sommelier Showdown at the RRB&ITC, my Rolodex couldn't afford to miss it!)

Practically everything about the Compass Box Whiskey Company sampling event was well-blended. Even though participants varied in age and gender, it seemed as if a great consensus was reached the evening before, almost like school girls carefully coordinating matching outfits. Nearly every attendee donned a darkly-colored work suit while mingling with others over a shared admiration of scotch whiskey. With bold cherry red and subdued jade-colored walls underneath dimly-lit bulbs, the cohesive atmosphere extended itself beyond the participants to the venue itself. And as one of the main goals of The Wine Cooperative is to create networking opportunities for those interested in an already-relaxed, "spirited" industry, the calm found both in the room itself and the those attending certainly assisted in making it an enjoyable experience for all.

For fresh DMV meat, the missing pressure to be unique in a comfortable setting, sounds ideal for networking--a fact that was running through my mind during the initial meet and greet, held prior to the presentation. From the coolly lit venue to the similarly-dressed attendees, simply participating in events like these are a real breeze. It doesn't take a whole ton of effort to throw on a generic work suit and engage in idle chatter, especially when you share common ground with those around you. And for people who are new to the District, this sense of ease can be particularly comforting. After all, physically moving here (with or without a job) can be scary enough, let alone actually making a life for yourself.

When I entered the presentation room and saw that seven generous flights were ready and waiting in front of each seat, I was not only excited (as I'm slightly obsessed with whiskey...) but also fairly certain that the celebration of blended unity would continue. And at the most basic level, presenter and whiskey maker John Glaser didn't prove me wrong. The entire presentation from start to finish focused on the varying blended scotch whiskeys conceptualized and created by The Compass Box Whiskey Company, each designed to be "lovely, eclectic, expensive spirits for people who like the 'good stuff.'" (Now that I think of it... we could have made a real dangerous drinking game out of his excessive use of "blending," "blended," "blender," etc.)

Despite the emphasis placed on "blending in" while explaining the ins and outs each of the seven scotch whiskeys displayed, it was also clear Glaser recognized that profitability is found in refraining from being too blended. During his presentation, he stated multiple times that blended liquors are the most misunderstood of all scotch whiskeys. Even with growing interest, Glaser said, it is easy for people simply group one manufacturer in with another, ultimately blending them together. For this reason, each of the seven scotch whiskeys presented by The Compass Box Whiskey Company, although blended, retained at least one unique quality that set it apart from the rest--that way, people may not only distinguish between CBWC liquors, but also rethink the misconceptions they may have about scotch whiskey in general.

When the phrase "blending in" is transferred from an alcoholic to corporate context, it can be easily compared to the fundamental goals that all companies have in common. While businesses want to capitalize on a shared, public need, in order to be successful it must have at least some distinguishing and/or memorable qualities. If not, how else would the consumer know to choose one company over another?

Washingtonians-in-training should know that this simple business model holds true for networking oneself in the DMV, both professionally and personally. While I'm not discarding the importance of finding common interests between yourself and others you're interacting with, that's the easy part of the job. What isn't so simple, is ensuring that the people you talked to will remember you five minutes later, let alone after a day or two. Remember, everyone in the District is in a big hurry, so our first, five-second long impression is usually the one that sticks with us. Because of this, those that blend in too well (during networking events, for example) are likely to be recalled as little to nothing more than a nameless face in a big crowd. On the other hand, those that can be a blended member of a group while adding a never-before-seen flair are the ones that make lasting impressions-- on everyone from new friends and potential lovers, to valuable business contacts.

My experience at this Wine Cooperative event alone, proved the importance of being a readily visible needle-in-a-haystack, as opposed to one that has chameleon-like qualities. As I mingled with the others at the event, I was unable to find any over-arching qualities that set me apart from the group--after all, everyone there was a working professional with a love of scotch whiskey, or at least it seemed.

Eventually, it became undeniably apparent that there was one thing that set me apart from everyone else: my outfit! The only reason I noticed that each attendee dressed in either black or grey-colored suits is because I was the only one who wasn't. At first, I wondered if I made a serious DMV fashion blunder as I stood there in my bright, mustard-colored Marc Jacobs pencil skirt and blue and white pinstriped JCrew button-down, with a navy Theory boyfriend jacket draped over my arms. After a few nice compliments and a beer or two three, my social anxiety over my bright post-work outfit faded away and was the last thing on my mind by the time I drifted to sleep later that night.

Waking up today however, was a different story. As someone who has made networking her meal-ticket, it wasn't shocking to see that I'd received numerous emails from contacts I'd made the night before. What did surprise (and excite) me however, was the fact that in every message, the respective author mentioned remembering me because of my boldly-colored outfit. While it may seem like a trivial example, the fact that I could relate and stand out worked in my favor both socially and professionally. (The fact that it was my outfit that set me apart is just the cherry on top--I've worked long and hard on my closet!)

TO MAKE A LONG STORY LONGER...

Needless to say, The Wine Cooperative hosted a well-organized event in more way than one. The venue set the right cool and comfortable tone that's ideal to meeting new people, especially if the art of networking is new to you. (It's also a perfect spot for food and alcoholic-related events, as serving room is plentiful!)

Secondly, The Wine Cooperative successfully accomplished one of its most simple goals: to create formally social opportunities for those interested in the spirits industry to meet and greet with one another... even if it's a limited number of people. For now, events hosted by The Wine Cooperative, such as this one, are invitation-only. But don't worry DMV newbies, Young&Stylish DC has it on good authority that more people will eventually be allowed to attend these lavish networking events, usually after paying varying admission prices that depend on the food, beverages, entertainment, etc., provided.