#dayfiftythree

I'm struggling to remember a time before this when my VPN was shittier.

I know I'm exaggerating, but the minimal VPN connection these days is still sucky.

Today turned out to be busier than expected. I lazed about at home first. I managed to watch a full episode of 'Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries' before going to work to finish my lesson plans.

ML was there and so was one of my other Chinese colleagues, LU. Since we were stuck together for the afternoon instead of at home getting a life, I made ML some coffee and LU some of my fruit tea. Since I'm planning on leaving next year, I want to leave my current colleagues with lots of good memories of me.

I didn't get as much done as I would've liked. I made worksheets and powerpoints while chatting with CI, AS, D and C about our proposed trip to see a giant Buddha statue over the weekend. The conversation stressed me out more than I anticipated, and I wasn't even planning the trip.

I really need to learn not to sweat the small things.

Anyway, I gave up on work at 16:30 and decided to go get some cash at an ATM and buy another backpack for the trip. So I texted AS and we ended up going to the mall together.

If not for AS, I wouldn't have found an exact copy of the grey backpack I took with me to Manila. I gave my old backpack to X because she doesn't know how to pack a suitcase without stressing both herself and me out simultaneously. Anyway, I gave my backpack to X and I finally got a replacement. At first, I wasn't sure if I should get the same bag again. I have horrible recollections of that trip to Manila and basically every good memory that X has tainted thus far. But in the end, AS convinced me to take the same backpack.

I can't go through my whole life worrying about X tainting everything good that I've ever had and will have.

AS and I had dumplings for dinner afterwards and then I dropped her off at home in a taxi after 20:00. But still, I felt jittery and stressed out about the trip for tomorrow. Other things are beginning to weigh on me too, like getting my grey backpack again and when to send X's things back to her. I have a vacant spot in my social calendar next weekend, so I maybe should just do it then and get it over with.

I hope I can sleep well tonight. I'm so jittery and stressed and brooding over X again.