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For Maeglin Appreciation Week - Da 1st - Adjusting/Coping.
It’s from Turgon POV, but about Maeglin and his first days in Gondolin. I post it few days ago on AO3. As usually I had serious problems with title and I’m not fully pleased with this one, but I decided not to care...
“All Alone”
Boy quailed, he tried to be as small as he could. His arms were tense, as he was ready to flight at the sight of the slightest threat. In his hands he clutched tightly his mother’s necklace, which she had when she… came to the city.
‘Maeglin’ Turgon spoke after a while. Boy almost jumped at sound of his voice and turned around rapidly. ‘Easy, you don’t have to be afraid of me.’
‘But… but I’m not afraid at all, you majesty.’ His shivering voice was saying otherwise, and his dark, strange eyes were wide open.
‘You don’t have to address me such. We are family.’ He walked slowly to his nephew. Maeglin looked like cornered animal, too frightened to move or speak. Turgon really wanted to do something, help him, hug, tell him, that everything gonna be all right, but he didn’t know if it didn’t make everything worse.
‘You know if you need me you can always ask me. Always’ he said eventually. Maeglin looked at him with despair. Turgon got impression he was about to say something, but he resigned and just nodded.
‘Would you like to eat something?’He tried to say it enthusiastically, but Maeglin still seemed to be incredibly tense. He nodded again, without saying a word. In fact, he spoke very little since his mother died. He responded when asked, but only with few words…
Turgon took him by the arm and guided to dining room. Boy seemed to calm down due to closeness of other person. His muscles relaxed slightly, although he still clutched tightly his mother’s necklace in his right hand.
They sat together in King’s private chamber. Servants brought dinner, variety of meals and beverages – too much for two elves. Maeglin was sadly poking fork in food. Turgon didn’t see the boy to eat even a bite.
‘Aredhel loved apple pie’ he said, pulling the cake to his nephew. Maeglin looked up at the sound of his mother’s name. ‘Do you like it as well?’
‘I.. I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever tried it.’ He was visibly abashed.
‘Well let’s try it know. You eat so little’ Turgon tried not to sound worried, but he failed. His nephew looked so miserable. When he and Aredhel had entered Gondolin, he seemed to be happy. Confused, but happy and confident. Real scion of kings, son of his mother, proud White Lady of Noldor.
He tried to talk light-heartedly, but Maeglin responded shortly, with perfunctory words, he disposed every attempt at conversation, so Turgon soon ceased it. He thought his every word sounded silly and uncomfortable silence was even worse. He felt relieved when boy left. And he hated himself for it. He should help him, but he just didn’t know how…
In comparison to Aredhel’s son Idril was so easy child. Even after Elenwe’s death she was for him greater support than he for her. And maybe she wasn’t then all alone, among strangers, but it also wasn’t easy. And Aredhel always was there for her, in place of mother. Now he had to be the same for the son of his sister.
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Hari ni hari pertama puasa. Sejujurnya, ia tak seperti yang aku bayangkan. Mula-mula, aku tak sempat nak bersahur, baru masuk tengahari dah lembek lenyo satu badan. Tambah pulak batuk dan kahak ni tak pernah menunjukkan tanda-tanda nak berambus... 😢 jadi puasa harini tersangat lah penat. Sampai muntah pun ada sebab batuk. Keadaan lagi tambah kacau bila harini aku kena masuk kerja jam tiga. Cadang nak ponteng (astaghfirullah) tapi rasa bersalah pada staff lain. Sampai pada satu saat tu... jeng jeng jeng..nak buka puasa, dah tak tahan sangat, perit rasa tekak, NAK MINUM AIRRR! TETAPI! Aku cepat-cepat istighfar dan kawal diri. Tutup mata, cakap pada diri, ini semua ujian ALLAH untuk bagi aku belajar erti sabar yang sebenarnya. Dalam pada aku tengah duduk mengelamun dan cuba mencari udara untuk disedut, dalam pada tangan terketar-ketar menahan penat, aku fikir. ALLAH sayangkan aku. Kenapa dalam keadaan aku berpuasa, sakitnya tuh masih di sini? Kenapa dalam keadaan aku berpuasa, ALLAH tetap bagi aku batuk? Mungkin aku betul dan mungkin juga aku salah, tetapi, aku yakin. Aku adalah antara hambaNYA yang memperoleh dua pahala di bulan puasa ni. Satu, pahala puasa sudah semestinya; dua, pahala sabar, sabar dalam menjalani ibadah puasa dan menjalani sakit/nikmat yang ALLAH bagi. Kesimpulannya, bukan sahaja aku, tetapi buat semua umat ISLAM, walau apa pun yang ALLAH beri, baik yang berbentuk ujian ataupun nikmat, kuncinya adalah sabar. Sebab kita tak tahu, dalam sabarnya kita menjalani hidup, mungkin di situ akan turunnya rahmat ALLAH dekat kita. Sebagai contoh, cepat dapat jodoh mungkin? Wallahu'alam. P/s : Ini merupakan penulisan yang ironi. Kerana Atikah Rostam bukanlah seorang yang penyabar. 😁 P/s 2 : Alhamdulillah semasa penulisan ini sedang ditaip, batuk pun beransur hilang. Syukran.
Inuvember Month I know that I’m late so I’m posting all of this now…it’s hard from mobile
Day One: Favorite Inu-Gang member
It could be expected saying Kagome Higurashi, but she is a strong girl that abandoned her “normal” life in order to follow the wish of an adventure that smells of love but she’s intelligent, strong and brave and risks everything for Inuyasha, even if at first is discouraged by Kikyo…