#daxia lestrange

"I ha-I have spoken to him! We went into the village just yesterday to get you all of these ingredients and-"

Adiya cut her off by holding her hand up and shaking her head "Not Remus," she said in a bored sounding tone "You know who I mean Daxia. The guy in my spare room who shouts in his sleep and has to be forced to eat his meals."

Daxia bit down on her bottom lip and took in a deep breath through her nose, her hands going back to tugging the sleeves of her hoodie down to cover her knuckles over and over "I can't talk to him," she said in a whisper, her voice shook slightly and her eyes shone "I can't okay? Because I thought he killed people...I thought he killed-" she paused and took in a deep breath. She hadn't said their names for years, not out loud anyway, and a pain flashed across her chest when she even thought about it "James and Lily," she said, pushing the words out "I thought he sold out friends to the enemy Ads."

"So did I," Adiya said with a shrug, turning back and beginning to chop her carrots once more "We all did."

"I was supposed to be marrying him," Daxia said in a small voice "WE never got a chance to tell you guys but after Harry was born he asked me and I said yes. He gave me a ring and everything," she said, reaching into the top of her hoodie and tugging a necklace out decorated with a delicate silver ring.

Adiya's eyebrows raised but beside that she didn't react, glancing to her friend out of the corner of her eye "If you kept the ring Daxia you can go in there and talk to the guy," she said, reaching over and grabbing hold of a couple of chocolate frogs from one of the cupboards in front of her "Take him one of these."

Daxia stared down to the chocolate being offered to her "I can't," she said with a shake of her head as flashes of memories hit her all at once "I don't eat them anymore, Adiya I don't...no."

"Sorry," Adiya said, her smile finally filled with sympathy as she chucked the chocolate frogs back into the cupboard "I forgot they were your thing...with her," she said, reaching out and squeezing her arm supportively "Here, I have some muggle chocolate you can tempt him with," she said, replacing the frogs with a big bar of dairy milk "Get him to eat Daxia."

"You're really making me do this?"

Adiya grinned, shoving the chocolate bar into Daxia's hands "Yes."

With Remus out and no one to be there on her side Daxia took the chocolate bar and turned to leave the kitchen. The staircase leading up to the bedrooms was at the back of Adiya's cottage, creaking beneath Daxia's footsteps as she made her way up and stopping at a grand landing leading off to each individual bedroom.

Sometimes Daxia forgot just how rich Adiya's parents were in the muggle world and then she wandered down a grand landing to get to the spare bedroom which was about as big as the main one in her flat in Australia and it hit her like a ton of bricks.

She paused as she came to the final door, tempted to turn back and run to the bedroom she had claimed on the first night they'd turned up on the doorstep.

The guilt weighed heavy in her stomach as she stared at the door. For years she had hated him, blamed him for everything bad that had happened in her life, and she had been wrong. He had been imprisoned for twelve years, alone, sad and scared and they, the entire wizarding world, had been wrong.

What was she supposed to say to him?

With the chocolate melting in the grip she had it in in her fingers she stepped forward and reached out with her left hand, knocking gently and leaning forward to try and listen for his answer.

She knocked again when it didn't come, stepping even closer and clearing her throat "Uhm, Sirius?" she said in a small tone "Sirius, it's me. Daxia."

When all she was met with was silence once more she took a step back again and stared at the door, wondering what was going on on the other side of it. Was he sitting on his bed listening to her and refusing to speak with her? Was he asleep? Or was it all about avoidance?

"I have the right to get a chance to apologise," she said beneath her breath as she reached for the handle of the door, her hand stayed there for a couple of seconds as she gathered herself "I need to apologise," she said to herself as she leaned against the handle and swung the door open.

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion when all she was met with was an empty bed. The quilt looked as though it hadn't been touched all week and the pillows remained in the perfect condition hers had looked in before she'd slept on them.

She stepped into the room slowly, the chocolate bar bending with the grip she now had on it as she glanced around the space.

Her breath caught in her throat when she spotted, what she thought was, a pile of clothes in the corner. He was curled up in a small ball, still wearing the clothes Adiya had supplied him with on their first day there, fast asleep.

Her heart ached as she stood there and watched him. He was skinny, a lot skinnier than she remembered, with hair longer than it had ever been and skin a sickly pale.

She'd seen him in the Shrieking Shack that night, of course she had, but it had been dark and she'd been so overwhelmed she hadn't taken much in. Her memories of it felt off, like looking back on a bad dream instead of something which had actually happened to her, and she felt like she was looking at him for the first time.

Gently closing the door behind her seemed to stir him and he jumped, pushing himself up into a sitting position and glancing around wildly.

"Hey, it's okay," she said, reaching her hands out toward him "It's okay, it's just me," she said, watching him calm before her eyes. His shoulders relaxed as he leaned back against the wall, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair and off his face.

"Hi," he said, shuffling around so he was facing her as she perched on the edge of the bed in front of him.

"Ads sent you some chocolate," Daxia said, reaching into her pocket to pull out the large bar of dairy milk "I think she forgets how bad it is for dogs," she said, the old joke slipping off her tongue almost too easily.

Their eyes met across the room and, to her surprise, a grin which matched the Sirius she remembered stretched across his face "Give it here," he said, holding his hand out toward her.

She smiled, opening up the chocolate and breaking a few lines off "In this house we share Sirius," she said, handing the bit she had broken off over to him.

One of his eyebrows arched slightly as he caught her eye once more and took the chocolate off her "Don't watch me eat it," he warned as he geld the chocolate by his lips "Adiya watches me eat."

"Adiya is just worried about you," Daxia answered with a smile "She's the worrier now. The mother hen."

"It's weird," Sirius said, his mouth now full, as he pushed himself up onto his feet and made his way over "Seeing her like that is weird," he continued as he sat down beside her "You didn't flinch."

"I'm sorry?" Daxia asked with a frown, her mouth also full of chocolate.

"Sometimes Adiya flinches if I more too fast," Sirius explained "And Remus stands by the door speaking to me from there," he continued as he shoved another piece of chocolate in his mouth "But you. You came right in and you didn't flinch."

"I still see you," Daxia admitted "I was nervous to come in here but I remembered looking into your eyes that night, your eyes still show you," she said, a small smile coming to her face as she glanced across to him.

"It's too comfortable."

Daxia paused "Too...?"

"The bed," he said, placing his hand on the quilt beneath where he was sitting "I can't sleep on it, it's too comfortable."

"That's why you were on the floor?" Daxia asked, shifting around so she was facing him properly as she crossed her legs beneath her.

"It's how I've slept for the past twelve years, the bed just feels weird," he said, his eyes down.

Tossing the rest of the chocolate down on the bed beside her Daxia moved closer to him, reaching out and watching him jump slightly as she rested her hand gently on his knee "That's okay," she reassured him, rubbing her thumb along the fabric of his trousers "It's going to take some time but it's okay."

For the third time since she had sat down in front of him his stormy grey eyes met hers and she felt the old feeling swoop back in her stomach. Her head felt light and butterflies invaded her ribcage and surrounded her heart.

"Listen, Sirius-"

"No."

"You don't know what I'm going to say."

"You're going to apologise. You're going to apologise for thinking what everyone thought, you're going to apologise for the same thing both Adiya and Remus have apologised for and I don't need to hear it," he said with a shake of his head "As far as I am concerned I did it. I let them down and I deserved..." he paused as his voice broke "I deserved what I got because I was too busy drinking and blaming Remus to see what was really going on beneath my nose."

"Sirius-"

"No, Daxia, no," he said as he got to his feet once more, his hands gripping onto the sides of his head as he turned his back on her "I should have done something, I should have seen it, I should have-"

Before he could finish, before she could thing, she was on her feet beside him pulling him into a tight hug.

As different as he felt he, somehow, still smelled the same. She buried her face into his neck, her eyes closing as she hugged him tightly to her, gripping onto the back of his tshirt as though he was going to disappear.

It took a couple of seconds but he was soon hugging her back. Resting his cheekbone against the top of her head he gently and almost tentatively wrapped his arms around her waist, his eyes closing once more as he was thrown back to a time he was sure he had forgotten.

In Azkaban it was his innocence which kept him sane. He hadn't killed those muggles, Peter had, and that was what kept him going. It didn't stop his memories from fading whenever the dementors went by his cell. Daxia, Adiya, Remus, James, Lily...they were all ghosts in his mind he could picture but he couldn't think of properly, he couldn't dream about them or bring up memories of them...

But they all came rushing back as Daxia held him close. Their days at Hogwarts, during the war and everything in-between. The laughter and the tears, the good and the bad.

He could have held onto her all day but he reluctantly pulled away, reaching up and cradling her face in his hands as she looked up to him through shining eyes. His gaze roamed over her features, taking them all in and remembering every single little bit of her.

"You cut your hair," he said softly, glancing up to see her short bob instead of the wild curls he was used to.

"I needed a change," she answered, her voice coming out in a whisper.

"I like it," he said with a smile, one of his hands leaving her face to travel up and run through her hair "It suits you," he continued, his eyes flickering back down to her face to see her eyes had closed.

The sprung open once more as he stepped away. His touch, his smell, leaving her as he stepped backwards away from her.

"Sirius?"

"I'm sorry," he said, wringing her hands together "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," she answered with a smile as she took a step closer to him, frowning when she saw him step backwards once more "Sirius it's okay."

He nodded "I know. It's just..."

"A lot?"

"A lot," he confirmed, wrapping his arms around himself and stepping back again until his back was pressed against the wall behind him.

"I'll leave you to it," she said, keeping the smile on her face to hide her crushing disappointment at losing him once more "It's okay Sirius, I promise," she said, nodding her head as she backed away.

"Daxia?" he called after her, stopping her before she reached down for the handle "Tell Adiya I'll be down for dinner tonight."