Hello Tumblr user Mississpissi. My name is Timothy "Tim" Bigcommunist, but most of my friends call me George. I advice you do the same... or bad things may happen.
I am writing to apply for the position of I Am in Eskew mutual. I noticed on a previous "post" of mine (I have created many such "posts" over my tenure as a world wide web user) you commented using the tag feature that you, too, were a "Davidhead" (the official, accepted term for a fan of the podcast I Am in Eskew, so named after its titular character, one Mr. David Ward).
I believe I would be a good fit for the position of I Am in Esckew mutual due to my enjoyment of the podcast, muscular legs and magnetic personality. I will be arriving at your house shortly to begin my role.
Many Happy Returns Of The Day,
Steven Bigcommunist
Hi Phil!
It brings me great joy to hear from another “Davidhead”! I have looked over your application in great detail and I agree that you would be a great fit for the position (especially considering your muscular legs- that was a big factor to take into account)… however! As a rather avid “Davidhead”, I couldn’t help but notice that in paragraph 3 of your application, you spelt “Eskew” as “Esckew”. While I can hear your knocking at my front door, I will have to put you on the waitlist due to your obviously untrue commitment to David Ward and the podcast “I Am in Eskew”. I hope you can understand! Have a fantastic day, I will be in touch if anything changes!
Best Regards,
Sarah “Miss Piss” Mississpissi
