#daveholmes

#OnThisDay December 31, 1998

Aaliyah appears on the MTV Total Request Live Top 100 Countdown for all the hits for the year of 1998 in preperation of the coming of the new year (1999).

Dear Dave,

Now that my Cameo request has lapsed, I get the hint. You’re not quite comfortable becoming friends with a random dude on the internet. I don’t blame you, as this was a weird project concept to begin with.

But just in case you ever stumble upon this site, I wanted to try and change your mind.

Here are the “Top 10 Reasons To Be Schuyler’s Friend”

1) I’m one of the good ones. I think MTV should be more music and less Teen Wolf/Teen Mom/Teen-ager (not a show, I’m just getting old). Imagine all the arguing we could do on who the best bands of all time are. Metallica is number one for me. I’m not one of those people that just assumes its the Beetles.

2) Might it make Matt Pinfield jealous? I can’t imagine that Matt Pinfield calls you when you’re having a rough day to lift your spirits. That is well within my powers.

3) I would write music for you. They wouldn’t be as good as say an LFO or a Sisqo, but they would be written and performed from the heart. I also do this hilarious version of Paula Cole “I Don’t Wanna Wait” where I sound like Miss Piggy.

4) We could play video games online! Yeah, the world is pretty Covid-y, hence my need to do this project...but wouldn’t it be cool if we could play some games online? Another thing that Matt Pinfield probably refuses to do. You pick the game, I’m there. That’s a friend.

5) I make really good barbacoa. It takes some time, but it is magical.

6) I’m really awful at dating, so as a friend you’re unlikely to get ditched once the latest relationship heats up. That’s right, I’m exactly the correct level of needy and reliable.

7) A few minutes ago I admitted that I listened to LFO and Sisqo. How many people would be THAT honest with you so soon? Gotta think vulnerability is a positive, right?

8) I’m a creative guy! Look at this project! Why would someone do this?! If you ever wanted to create something cool, you’d have a buddy who is a hell of a creative ally with a real “yes, and” perspective. We could make things!

9) Doesn’t it count just a TINY bit that I wrote this whole essay out for you on the off chance you want to someday be my friend? I don’t even attach cover letters when I apply for jobs, so this note has got to mean something to you.

10) Because we’re all stuck at home anyway so why not give me a chance?

Another All-text post. Should I embed things ? I’ll work on it. 

Ms. Gwendolyn has things to do besides create graphics for you. It’s the summer after all. And guess what she just did on fire island?! Mostly organic hallucinogens and beach time. One long afternoon with a boy. Quality over quantity, my dears.

Meanwhile, my beach read was Dave Holmes memoir Party of One. He writes sentences like I speak - never ending and when they finally do it’s about the next paragraph. This is not a disparagement, this is how we midwestern people talk. Now what is the midwest, you ask? My working definition is all the states in the Northwest ordinance plus Missouri. Iowa is a wild card. 

Dave Holmes is a wonder, a gift to our community, at least 60% of a John Waters. BUT DO YOU EVER PAY ATTENTION?! Sure MTV, but you know what else? Dave writes, smartly, about things that matter, currently! 

FOLLOW HIS WORK AND SUPPORT THE COMMUNITY!

To Dave Holmes, personally.

 Like the podcast you host, what makes “Party of One” engaging is your willingness to be forthcoming. What makes it wonderful is how vulnerable you are - perhaps a skill learned from music. My god, he walked you around that campus twice. Tears!

I thought you might like to know that younger gays are literally trodding your footsteps. NW corner of 89/2nd is now casual Argentinian and still a great happy hour (order the corn empanadas). GAF is still an Irish shit-show. Elaine’s (RIP) is something bland and overpriced. 

In conclusion

The BEST PART of fire island is the quinquagenarian Lesbian unabashedly doing her favorite deep cuts on open mic at the Ice Palace. Like that lesbian, Dave, you have touched my heart. 

Incidentally,