#daughtership

"I had someone ask me a question about dating and marriage... So here it is……

Ladies, you are worthy of an incredible man who treats you like the treasure you are!  It does NOT matter what your past is or where you have been, God has nothing but the best for you!  And His timing is PERFECT!  The best piece of advice I ever received in regards to this, came from my spiritual Dad, Danny Silk.  This is what he told me….

Imagine that your heart is locked away behind lots and lots of gates.  When a guy comes along who is interested in you, only put a little, tiny piece of yourself out there.  In other words, you don’t just give away your whole heart and tell him every single thing about you and in you.  Just let him see a small glimpse of who you are and what you hold dear inside you.  If he handles that well;  if he honors it and treats it like the treasure it is, then maybe you open up the first gate and let him through.  With each time you put a piece of yourself out there, you see how he handles it.  Does he honor and respect it?  Is he kind?  Does he treat it as a treasure?  The moment he doesn’t treat you well or handle a piece of who you are well, he doesn’t get through the gate.  There is only ONE man who will get through all the gates and win your heart, and he is the man who will stand at the alter and vow to love you and protect you the rest of your life.  Does this make sense?  By doing this, you are protecting your heart, but also allowing someone to get to know you.  But not just anybody gets to know you deeply….be careful!  Let a man pursue you and see where he leads.  When Skyler first told me that he wanted to pursue a relationship with me, I told him that “the ball is in his court and we will see where he leads it”.  When he told me that he liked me and wanted to be with me, I told him to “prove it”.  haha  Really!  I let him be the one to initiate calling me, etc.  But all of this starts with realizing that you are worth the pursuit.

Something else that I feel is really important is that you need to have mothers and fathers/leaders in your life.  If you have nothing to hide, it is very easy to allow these very important people to be involved in your romantic relationships.  They have insight and wisdom to share.  Sometimes they will see something we don’t and its important to hear them out!  One of the first things I had Skyler do was talk with the spiritual leaders in my life.  I told him that if they approved, then I would approve!

I used to get so mad when married people would say to me (as a single woman) “you just know”.  What on earth does that mean?!  As a single person, how on earth can I comprehend what that means?  But when Skyler told me he loved me, I was overwhelmed with the feeling of…just knowing:)  It’s not something you can understand until you experience it for yourself.  I also HATED it when people would tell me things like “its when I finally stopped looking that he showed up” or “its when I finally did (whatever) that he pursued me”.  As if there is some sort of method to the madness!  I would want to scream at them and say “Give me a break!”  It was like telling me that who I am or the way I am doing it is not good enough and if I could just figure out the secret code and do things just a certain way, the heavens would open and I would get a man!  YA RIGHT.  Listen up people, there is NO METHOD.  There is ONLY God and HIS timing.  That’s it.  And if you wait for His timing, it will be the perfect guy and yes….you will live happily ever after.

Those are tidbits of info that I think are really important in regards to dating/marriage.  I really could say a lot more, but this is what I most wanted to write.  I don’t really want to give an opinion as to whether you should date or court or whatever else you want to call it.  That is between you, God, and your mother/fathers.  Trust God, seek Him first, and remember ladies……..you are worth the fight!" -Kim Walker Smith

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THIS is why I admire and respect Kim walker Smith so much. She's so real and raw when she shares anything! So much truth and heart in her words. She pours out so much of her wisdom, and I'm so encouraged by her words...dang this was too good, I couldn't NOT repost this.

I loved when she mentions the "you just know” response from couples, because, how do you know? again, we don't. There is no formula, trick, etc. It really is God's timing...His impeccable timing! (And I promise you Jesus will love you more than your future boyfriend/fiance/husband ever will! He's been pursuing you and your heart since day 1).