#dauded

who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave: Rowena, no question about it. She thinks it’s funny how the peeps swell up and get so fat and then melt because they’re pure sugar. Ornstein does not appreciate the mess.

who forgot to put the cat outside before sex: Rowena. Except she did it on purpose because it’s just so damn cute to see Ornstein get frustrated over the cat being in the room but still petting said cat all the same. 

who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit: Rowena. She’s always busting out her phone whenever Ornstein happens to do something embarrassing lol

who breaks the most phones: Ornstein, usually by dropping them or some shit. He broke Rowena’s one time and she made him recreate every photo she had. Don’t ask how she remembered all of them.

who dies first: I’m gonna pretend you didn’t ask that. 

which one I could see as being lactose intolerant: Def Ornstein. He strikes me as more of the picky eater. 

who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t: Oh god, this is a tie. They’re both really stubborn, so they’ll try to do stuff they really suck at and just. Kind of sheepishly ask for help from the other.

who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed: Ornstein. If he steals the blankets too much, Ro finds a way to steal them back, which results in him rolling onto the floor.

This week on “Christina gushes about her SoulsBorne faves”, she continues to gush about Ornstein! Is anyone surprised? Nope! Is she gonna do it, anyway? Abso-fucking-lutely!

(I had way too much fun with that)

favorite thing about them: The gaps that we as Dark Souls fans get to fill in about him. It’s so interesting to see that, even though there’s a bunch of different authors out there that write about Ornstein, we all seem to come to some sort of similar consensus on his personality. It’s super fascinating.

least favorite thing about them: The gaps that we as Dark Souls fans get to fill in about him. Yes, I said this twice. No, it wasn’t a mistake. Sometimes, this is a royal pain in the ass to do. Fun, but the muse tends to be...difficult. 

favorite line: Welp, gonna have to take this from some of my own writing, since he doesn’t speak in game:

“You were right about the moss,” Ornstein began, making her jump. He offered her a hand. “But perhaps you should stop your talk of poisoning me. It strikes me as a bad omen.” 

brOTP: Ornstein and the Chosen Undead. Also, him interacting with any of the other Four Knights just. Gives me so much life.

OTP: Ornstein and the Chosen Undead. Ha. Yep. Platonic AND romantic. No one can take this from me. 

nOTP: I don’t really have an answer for this one. Haven’t delved that far in the fandom, apparently. 

random headcanon: I think he could potentially be musically inclined. Whether it’s through singing or an instrument, doesn’t rightly matter to me. 

unpopular opinion: Wow I still don’t know what the unpopular opinions of him are lol

song i associate with them: I have a giant playlist, but “Tennessee” by Kiiara. Particularly this part:

Do you remember when they bowed to us like kings, my friend?We were the champions, we were the championsHey now even when castles half-blown to the windI know they talk about us now and thenSaying we were the champions

favorite picture of them: Oho boy, this is hard. But I’m gonna go with this one: 

Sulyvahn and Friede are my top 2 fav bosses

I one hundred percent expected the first one, but the second one comes as a surprise! Well, let’s start.

Ornstein

looks: somewhat attractive | eh | not really my type | pretty | handsome | beautiful | stud | gorgeous | SWEET LORD MERCY

His armor is hella pretty, and this would definitely be upgraded if we ever saw his face. As it stands, I love pretty much every single headcanon appearance I’ve seen.

can you relate to this character on a personal level?: no | not really | somewhat | yes | they are me

A lot of this comes from my own writing experiences with him, but even with what little we know, there’s still a fair amount to relate to.

would you date/be friends with this character in real life if they were real?:total bros | friends | best friends | date | become their steady boyfriend/ girlfriend | neither | i don’t know

You bet anything I’d try to date Ornstein. I don’t even need to explain this further.

Gehrman

looks: somewhat attractive | eh | not really my type | pretty | handsome | beautiful | stud | gorgeous | SWEET LORD MERCY

I’m sure he was probably a looker back in the day, but as it stands, he’s pretty old when you encounter him.

can you relate to this character on a personal level?: no | not really | somewhat | yes | they are me

Grief does funny things to a person. Sure, he probably took it way too far in several ways, but that’s part of what makes him such a fascinating character. Honestly, I want to know more about him and the rest of the Old Hunters. 

would you date/be friends with this character in real life if they were real?:total bros | friends | best friends | date | become their steady boyfriend/ girlfriend | neither | i don’t know

I just made an inhuman noise. That should tell you at least half of what you wanna know.

when or if I started shipping it.

I basically started shipping it the second I started thinking about it. The thought went from “hmm, wonder if this could happen” to “wHY AREN’T THERE ENOUGH FICS FOR THIS” in about five minutes.

my thoughts:

I haven’t read too much on the ship, but just thinking about it makes me melt. I’m an absolute sucker for height differences, and just. Think. About. The. Height. Difference. Oh my god, I’m dying. That’s only part of it, though. There’s probably a bunch of other things I haven’t quite thought about just yet that would absolutely murder me. 

What makes me happy about them:

Well, I already mentioned the height difference. But there’s so much suffering going on in these games that Ornstein getting any kind of happiness just brightens my day. Plus, the Chosen Undead also gets a lot of crap thrown at them. Let them be happy and cute, please. 

What makes me sad about them:

That I have to kill Ornstein in game.

Okay, aside from that, there’s a lot of crap that can happen to this ship, just given the circumstances. I’ve given it some thought, and oh lordy, exploring some of these emotional paths has been an adventure. 

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Like I said, I haven’t read too much fanfic for this ship, but I have a strong feeling that if it wasn’t a slow burn kind of fic, that would annoy me. Orns doesn’t strike me as the type to rush into that kind of thing, and the Undead on the other side of the equation would probably be paranoid and suspicious to high heaven. Or at least pretty mad about everything trying to kill them.

things I look for in fanfic:

As stated above, slow burn all the fricking way. Throw in some mutual pining and maybe a “oh shit what do you mean I’m falling for them” realization on either end (or both!) and I’m set. Just. Buckle me in and start the ride. 

My kinks:

This probably applies to multiple ships I have, but hand kissing. Good god, I don’t know what it is about that, but I just ascend to another plane of existence when I just think about that with these two. 

Someslowandgentlesmutisprettygreattoojustsaying

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

Y’know, I actually haven’t given too much thought to that. I’m coming up empty on this one. I’m open to suggestions, though!

My happily ever after for them: