#dating competition...kind of

Apparently, David Coulthard had to drop out of emceeing this competition because he ran into a griffin problem. Which is what happens when you get ‘the deal of the century’ from a goblin and a fairy.

But that’s neither here nor there.

David Coulthard can’t emcee this event, so Daniel’s been asked. Charles mentioned via Alex that apparently they’d gone through ten people, and they all said no.

Ergo, they're desperate.

Daniel could have done without the mention of scouring through every influencer rejection, and being apparently their 12th pick. He was gonna say yes anyway.

He texts back yes, without a second thought. Because George, Charles, and Alex usually send him some pretty lucrative gigs.

It’s in the Kingdom of Gold, which Daniel would rather not.

But the pay apparently is well, and Daniel’s had his eye on a Cartier white-gold tennis bracelet that has 47 diamonds… so he texts back ‘hell yeah’ without a second thought and throws his phone on the couch. (Which did not end up being the couch, and proceeded to shatter his screen on the cement floors. It’s not cutting through his skin, it’s still usable, he’s pretty sure.)

Anyway, Daniel is taking his third transfer this afternoon to make it for this stupid Kingdom of Gold opening ceremony event thing.

Usually travel is arranged for him when he does gigs, but Daniel has literally not heard a peep since texting back his affirmation.

So, he has to do it all himself.

…and by all himself, he means that he has to complain to Blake about not having any travel booked enough times for Blake to get fed up with him and book it for him.

Blake must be sitting in a den somewhere extra gleeful that Daniel is on his third mode of transportation today…just hellhounding away…probably barking or something. Daniel has yet to uncover what a hellhound does when they’re happy, because he has never seen Blake be anything but sick-and-tired-of-his-shit.

The van stops at giant, gilded gates and the driver unlocks the door. Daniel stares ahead and watches as the driver peeps their eyes through the rear view window.

Ooookay then, I guess he will not be chauffeured to the entrance then.

The driver stays staring, which is a choice. Daniel smiles, bobs his head good naturedly, hiding the steam of irritation brewing underneath, and opens the door. He pops over to the trunk and takes out his steel-plated luggage cases and satisfactorily slams the trunk.

“Oops! Lighter than I thought!” Daniel raises his hands, watching as the driver doesn’t waste time in driving away.

Great.

Daniel glances at the gates and already knows that there’s no call box attached. Fucking hell.

He hasn’t had service since he landed for some reason. Which seems odd, because the Gold Kingdom likes to boast about how much better they are than everyone. Weird they don’t have the basics like cell phone reception. He wonders if the castle will have WiFi. Whatever, he can live without WiFi for 24 hours…he thinks.

The glittering from the gates is too entrancing to look away. Daniel lets his instincts take over, only for the lack of noticeable eyes on him, and brings his fingernails to the gate. His thumbnail scratches against the metal, his face getting ever closer as he assesses it. Nothing flaked off, maybe it’s real.

He glances to the left and right, doesn't notice anyone. 

Daniel takes one long lick down one of the metal strips.

“Oi!”

Of course.

“Oi! What are you doing! That’s disgusting mate. That was nasty. Do you even know how many germs are on that?! Wow. I have GOT to tell George about this. He is going to be appalled. Wow!”

Daniel steps back and plasters a smile on his face, if it’s a little wobbly no one else needs to know.

“Is it real?” Daniel yells to the approaching stranger.

“What!” The person keeps approaching and the look of disgust is still apparent, if only more noticeable the closer they get.

“Is it real gold?” Daniel clarifies.

“What! I don’t know!” The person says incredulously. “Seb is going to have to know about this. Holy cow. I didn’t know we’d have to clean the gates for idiots during this thing.”

It’s real, Daniel’s mind supplies.

Daniel nods his head.

“Daniel Ricciardo, the emcee for your event tonight, at your service,” Daniel says, and curtsies, for funsies. It’s time to get this party started.

“Tonight?” The other person frowns. “Whatever, dude, you’re weird. Step five paces back from the gate or you’ll get caught. And I am not adding a missing limb to your report after we have to notify the clinic that you probably have tetanus.”

Daniel takes a couple of steps back and watches as the gilded gates open slowly and creakily for its latest visitor. The two of them watch as the gates take their time…a lot of time really…it’s going awfully slow.

“Do you open it like this for everyone?” Daniel wonders. This cannot be efficient for a castle as large as this.

“What!” The person screeches above the noise, which it’s not that loud. “No one uses this entrance, you muppet! There’s another entrance that’s actually built in the 21st century. And it doesn’t move like molasses. What app did you use?”

Now it’s Daniel’s turn to say, “What?”

“Did you use Apple Maps? I’ve been telling Mark that Apple Maps is fucked. You’ve got to put in Google Maps or Waze. For some reason, Apple Maps keeps directing people here and it is SO annoying. I told Seb to send a complaint to Steve Jobs to fix this, but apparently he’s dead and not available for tech support… I don’t know who it goes to now.” They shrug their shoulders.

“Tim Cook,” Daniel supplies.

“What!” They yell back. “You know what, it doesn’t matter. Steve Job’s ghost is a right prick. Because he CAN fix this, he just chooses not to. Just come inside.”

Daniel doesn’t know how to respond to that so he grabs his rolling trunk and his large rolling suitcase, and moves inside the gates as instructed.

Daniel can feel it the moment he steps through the precipice, the tingly feeling in his insides that jolts down his spine. And he can already imagine it: rare hardwood floors, layered lighting, custom furniture, sustainable smart home technology — the works.

Someone’s had a recent renovation, because he knows the bones of this building are centuries old.

One thing they could have renovated is the cobblestone driveway. Jeez. He’s basically having to carry his luggage to the door.

The other person watches from behind, but doesn’t offer a single hand to help. “This,” they quip, “is why no one uses this entrance.”

Daniel chuckles for no reason at all other than the fact that he’s having to strain himself more than he’d like. He doesn’t expect for the guard to help, he’s used to it at this point, traveling from kingdom to kingdom over the years. He’s learned to realize that what goes on inside a castle is a different set of rules than the general public.

The two walk down the long cobbleway, Daniel's luggage wheels hanging on by a thread. He is NOT going to buy new luggage, he just got a very nice set — it was vintage, and sturdy, and he'll be damned if this stupid driveway ruins his rare find.

“Daniel!” He hears Alex's voice call from the wide open doors at the end of this entranceway that is not used as the main entrance. They look like entrance doors is all he's saying. 

It reminds him of his mates whose parents always used the garage door as the entrance and exit. Never, ever the front door. 

“Alex!” Daniel shouts back gleefully but also knows he's shit out of luck in getting assistance now. If this stranger isn't going to help, then Alex most certainly won't either.

Instead they both watch as Daniel struggles to get his massive trunk and suitcase up the driveway, up the twenty steps, and to the front door. 

“Did you know he always packs like this?” Alex smiles, watching, and again, Daniel wants to reiterate, not helping. “Could be one night, could be seventeen. Doesn't matter. The guy always has this much.”

There's no response from the guard behind him. Daniel figures he may have lost interest. 

“Lando, thank you for getting him,” Alex says as Daniel finally finds smooth flooring and is able to roll his luggage through the entranceway.

“Uh huh,” Lando scoffs, “sure, whatever. It wasn't like I had something else to do.”

“Streaming with your mate is not work, Lando,” Alex tsks, and hits him across the head. 

Daniel leans in, slightly—he smells it—Lando is a werewolf and an omega. There's also a bite on his neck which indicates said mate that Alex has just mentioned. Only certain magical creatures leave bites, and honestly, these days, it's subjective. Meanwhile, other magical creatures don't have the ability, their skin won't let them. It doesn't really matter though, if Daniel is close enough, he can typically sniff it out anyway.

“Do. Not. Lick. Me.” Lando says sternly, noticing now that Daniel is sniffing him. 

Daniel leans back and chuckles, dropping the handle of his suitcase so that he can wipe his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt. 

“You're late,” Alex mentions, closing the entrance door behind them. He starts walking and Daniel takes the hint that he's supposed to follow.

“What do you mean late?” Daniel asks, grabbing his suitcase handle and strolls behind. 

“I mean that we've all tried contacting you, Daniel.” Alex sighs.

“I had to take a train and then a plane and then a taxi. I'm doing the best I can here,” Daniel replies. He was in the Bronze Kingdom for crying out loud. It's not easy to travel legally across each of the kingdoms, and Daniel knows they intentionally don't make it easy. 

“Or you could have taken the jet that I arranged for you and the helicopter that would have gotten you only a stone's throw from your accommodations.” Alex nods up at the roof, which Daniel imagines the helicopter pad must be a few stories up. Maybe 5? 10? Hopefully 10? While the bones are old, he's not sure if this palace could brunt the weight of a helicopter.

Lando snorts. “The helicopter pad is out near the gardens, not on the roof.”

“Oh,” Daniel says, and can't help but wonder if it's possible to put a helicopter pad on this roof. How sturdy is this place?

“Anyway, you're late. So, you need to get changed, and then I'll introduce you to the production crew, some of the staff, the prince's men, and all of that jazz. Did you read the email we sent through this morning? It has the agenda,” Alex says as he's walking and talking.

Already Daniel feels lost. Production crew? Prince's men? Email? 

Okay, maybe he should have asked more questions before he said yes. But he had tunnel vision, and sometimes, that happens when he's presented with a fat amount of cash for a gig. He can't help it. 

“Uhhhh.” Daniel tries to stall time on how he should answer. He can hear Lando sighing insufferably behind him, loud and obnoxious. Daniel can't tell yet if he likes him or not. He feels like he should, but he also doesn't like being judged like this. He can already tell that Lando doesn't like him.

“Daniel!” Alex stops and turns around. “What are you having trouble comprehending?”

“First off, I didn't get an email. I haven't heard from anyone since I accepted. AND! I haven't had signal all day, there's got to be something in this kingdom that's jamming my phone or reception or something.”

“Effing Jobs…” Lando mutters.

Alex narrows his eyes. “Let me see your phone, Daniel.” He opens his hand out so that his palm is right in front of Daniel's chest. 

“That's personal, mate,” Daniel replies. "Lots of dicks. No can do.”

“Let me check this signal problem.” Alex rolls his eyes, already not amused. “Just trying to help. Trust me, I do not want to scroll through your camera reel.”

Daniel grumbles as he takes out his phone from his back pocket. He doesn't need Alex to take a look. He needs better reception. “Do you all have WiFi?” 

“What do you think this is!” Lando says, outraged at the question. “What castle doesn't have WiFi?” He gasps. “Have you been to a kingdom with a castle that doesn't have WiFi?”

Daniel looks at him, looks at how appalled he is, and he is very tempted to say yes. Very very tempted.

“Hand it over, Daniel.” Alex doesn't even wait for him to hand it over. Instead he grabs it and places it screen-up in his palm.

“Oh my god.” Lando gasps again. And okay, Daniel thinks that Lando might be a little overdramatic, because it's not that bad. “Can you see what you're typing?”

Alex laughs. “There's no way. Are you slicing yourself when you type? Who are you even texting with this?”

“Hey now.” Daniel makes a lunge for it but Alex moves swiftly out of the way. “No need to insult me. It does the job.”

“Does it?” Lando questions, his voice going high. His head is nearly blocking Daniel's view as the two openly gawk at Daniel's only mode of communication. That seems to be not working?

“The reception here is just fine, Daniel,” Alex explains as he assesses the screen, and does something to click around on it. He's using one finger, very lightly, making a show of it. “I think it's your phone that's the problem, mate.”

Daniel swallows hard. Uh huh. Okay. “Maybe it just works on WiFi? Can you get me the password?”

Lando laughs. “You don't need a WiFi password. You need a visit from Jolly Saint Jobs, my guy.”

“Or…”

“No.” Daniel shakes his head and this time successfully grabs the phone from Alex's hold. This is what he was fearful of—okay only a small part of him even remembered to think about Alex and his magical creature powers—but still, now that he's here, he doesn't want to deal with it.

“Or…”

“OR!” Lando shouts putting two and two together. “Or you could just make a wish!” He claps, like it's that easy. 

“Just make a wish, Daniel.” The djinn in front of him grins wide and open. His teeth metaphorically seeping with blood or something. You do too many deals with a djinn and you're under their hold for life. Daniel's already used one wish from Alex. He's close to three, and you don't get close to three wishes…you don't. 

“I'm good. I'll just go to a store after my gig.” Daniel sighs, pocketing the phone. 

Alex is still staring at him smiling, a twinkle in his eye, like he didn't just ask Daniel to bind a tiny piece of his soul to him. “You know you can trust me.”

“Not when you're grinning like the Cheshire Cat mate.” Daniel feels himself shudder.

“Have you met the Cheshire Cat?” Lando ponders. 

“Yes, and he wasn't to be trusted. Hell of a detour he took me on,” Daniel answers, starting to realize that Lando just thinks out loud. No filter needed. He can work with that. 

“Well at least we've gotten that taken care of. Daniel has a broken phone and the only way to contact him is through carrier pigeon apparently.” Alex gives Daniel a look and then proceeds to walk through the corridors of the castle again. 

"An owl is fine, honestly," Daniel quips, hearing as his voice echoes down a particularly long hallway.

It's a bit more empty than Daniel's used to if he's being honest. Usually there's more staff bustling about, there's chatter, there's gossip, there's someone slacking off. There are people late to meetings or practice or drills; there's activity. It seems deadly quiet here, stale, cold. 

Daniel's heard things about the Gold Kingdom. How it reigns supreme over the rest of the kingdoms. Its riches. Its opulence. Its efficiency. It even beats the Iron Kingdom, which is literally ruled by an iron fist. 

It's one of the reasons why Daniel doesn't really want to be here. And he can probably count on one hand how many times he's stepped into the Gold Kingdom’s borders since he started traveling… and never in the actual castle. 

Alex sighs and mutters, “You're not going to like this one.”

“Who is this?”

Alex and Lando, in front, stop immediately. Daniel barrels straight into Alex's back, which somehow knocks Lando off his kilter and nearly sends him to the ground before one of the people in the group — that has seemingly come out of nowhere — stops to grab him before he eats face.

No one responds for a couple of seconds, so Daniel supposes he will do the honors.

“I'm Daniel.” Daniel bows. “Daniel Ricciardo, at your service.”

Daniel's not sure exactly which one said the comment. So, he decides it's fine to just direct the bow to all five of them and hope it'll suffice. 

“Why is this omega out in the halls like this?” The one who asked the previous question says. Daniel is able now to pick him out, and immediately knows he's royalty or royalty-adjacent or a nobleman. Different attire for different kingdoms and all that jazz, but Daniel can basically sniff out luxury. And this guy has it. 

He also has the bluest eyes that Daniel's ever come across. But it's overtaken a bit by a wide, bony face, the scrunch of skin surrounding his eyes, and the smallest frown—or pout—known to mortals. He's got a wide mouth, a stocky build, and sandy, dusty blonde hair.

Daniel's only mesmerized for a millisecond before he remembers to be offended.

“Want to run that back one more time?” Daniel lifts an eyebrow.

“They're supposed to be getting ready, Alex.” The guy's face takes on a different expression. It's exasperation, but it's also creeped with nerves. As if he's the one planning this whole event thing himself. And maybe he is, maybe he's the one behind the scenes making sure everything goes okay. The King's hand perhaps? “Not out here in the halls getting a private tour. That was yesterday evening. You're not allowed to flirt...Alex, you said—”

“Oh.” Alex coughs loudly. “Oh no. Um. This is Daniel, Your Royal Highness. Our host for the whole shebang.”

Daniel clocks how Alex rejected flirting with him immediately, and skillfully schools his own face. Alex would be lucky to flirt with a guy like him. Lucky!

The entire group, so like 5 pairs of eyes or 10 eyeballs, stare at Daniel. Daniel feels like he wants to bow now. 

He decides not to bow, instead, he decides to curtsy instead. Playing it cool. Plus, this royal highness already completely called out his secondary gender. Rude, but whatever. 

“Your Royal Highness.” Daniel shuffles and curtsies, slow and messy. His mother would be ashamed. 

First impressions are important in his line of work. If he's professional enough here and he can kill it on stage, that's a butt load of referrals he could get for new gigs. It's how his whole thing works.

Entrepreneurialism baby. 

“David is the host,” the crown prince proclaims. 

“Um, no, mate.” Lando walks over. “Remember, the griffin problem that we spoke about. Came out of nowhere.”

Daniel wants to scoff. It did not come out of nowhere. David got hustled, scammed, bamboozled, hoodwinked, led astray.

“Excuse me, did you say something?” The Crown Prince looks his way, his face red, his eyes narrowed. 

“Um no, I...did I say anything out loud?” Daniel widens his eyes.

There's a man in the entourage, because Daniel's figured it out now, it's an entourage. Daniel wonders which one is the Turtle of the group...anyway, the man in the group has black hair, like a mane, dark eyes, and frankly a little too beautiful to be the crown prince's side character. What's that all about? 

If Daniel had an entourage, he certainly wouldn't let someone who is more attractive than him in it. That's for sure.

“You did,” says the man with the beautiful black mane. He's a shifter. An alpha. 

“Um, okay.” Daniel nods his head. He's pretty sure a scoff is not saying something but he’s not going to argue with an entourage right now. “Who are you?”

The Crown Prince's eyes narrow even more. Daniel doesn't really like that he can't see his eyes, but it's not like he can say anything about it. Daniel decides to change his attention to the prince’s arm, noticing a sparkling Cartier rose-gold bracelet on his left wrist. Beautiful. 

“Carlos,” the shapeshifter, now also known as Carlos says. 

Daniel nods his head again. He can hear Charles somewhere in his subconscious laughing at the repetition. You are like a bobblehead, Daniel. Always that head is moving. 

“I wasn't, like, saying something at you all. I would never do that. It was at David. For taking a deal that was too good to be true. That's all,” Daniel explains, because he feels like he needs to make it right. It is the crown prince, and he can't have this spreading amongst the kingdoms.

Again, his mother would be ashamed, and upset. Very upset.

“Alex, we are getting started shortly. Please take him to his room so that he can get changed. He smells,” the crown prince says, not mincing his words once. He doesn't say another word as the entourage glides away just as quickly as they came—within the blink of an eye.

That went well.

Alex sighs. “Well, now you've met Max. The Crown Prince of the Gold Kingdom and the most eligible bachelor in the metals realm.”

Lando starts cackling and slaps Daniel on the back. “GREAT first impression. I cannot wait to see this. Gonna be a spectacle!” Lando makes his way down a hallway that seems like the opposite direction that they're going in. He's cackling the whole way, and Daniel feels an uneasy feeling creep into his stomach. He doesn't like that feeling, knows that it's usually nothing good. And it makes him feel like he's kind of missing the plot here. 

“Are you sure you don't want me to grant you that wish?” Alex eyes him, scanning closely. This time Daniel knows that it's sincere, and caring, and good intentioned — natural for the beta in how he's mischievous yet considerate. 

“24 hours, in and out, baby. Easy as pie.”  Daniel laughs as he pulls his luggage through an empty bedroom that Alex has shepherded him in.

“Daniel. That's not.” Alex pulls his fingers through his hair. It's bleached but has blue hair dye in it right now. Last time Daniel saw him, it was a burnt red. Daniel's not going to ask. At least, not right now while Alex is being all cryptic. “The assignment is for 6 weeks mate. You're the host to help find Max's new omega partner. It's uh...like...hm...it's like a dating show but not on TV.” 

“..........Uhh.......what?” 

“You really shouldn't have broken your phone this time around,” Alex grumbles. “But hey! At least you’ll get a couple more TikTok followers! Maybe even hundreds…?” Alex claps and then proceeds to slam the bedroom door behind him.