#daterape

Rusty

We do what we do because it isn’t all about us… I had a responsibility to my son to be the best I could be regardless of what happened and that was enough for me to go to work, come home were at last I was safer than there and to be honest life got a little better however, from moving to our new home and settling in I was lonely not really ready though to meet someone yet..

After dating my Bisexual ex let’s call him that shall we.. (he was gay let me tell you) I had clocked up 10 months of me being on my own and my flat mate said, call one of those lines late at night, I screwed up my nose said nope, same thing next day he threw the phone at me and I decided to ring this line… cut a long story short I met my current husband.

Let’s back track a little here…. firstly let’s reflect on how it felt…after being drugged and the rest well, I’d rather excuse myself from using (r_p_ ) as a word

How does one go on after you have been so traumatised by another, all because of what?  Beyond my thoughts why some people decide to organise whatever special drug to use on a female that only accepted a dinner date?

I had no idea this would be the worst decision and the longest saga of my entire life, I had no idea this would turn my world upside down and it did in many ways..

All because a guy decided to put something in my meal or drink, still to this day I will never know what that special little extra was… however, I do remember many moments of terror and when I say terror  I mean every word.

I remember my thoughts about I have to get home, sleep and shower and drive 45 minutes to mums to pick up my little boy, I had thoughts of how do I look, I hope I don’t look too tired, I hope no-one notices that I look abit sad, I had too look like I was happy, well rested and that nightmare never happened!!

So, even though I was extremely quite and in my own thoughts, I do not remember thinking about anything or though I am sure I did, I know me, I would have shed a tear, felt guilty because I always felt that bad things always happened to me…

I did my best, smiled and laughed, asked the right questions when picking up my gorgeous son, Sunday I think it would have been a day before school, which again I needed to make sure all his shirts and shorts and pants, lunches and pretty much everything I need to get done wasnt done however, let me tell you was done in time for his school.

The house was extremely quite after that mornings outburst and I also was onto looking for a quick exit out of that damn horrible place, the persons temper was the obvious part such a selfish prick!   Never liked the dude I must admit and to be honest his manner was just as I had thought, a pig and a big huge swine of a doosh bag! (too much?)

Finally, within that week a friend of mine who was moving out said, yes, indeed, let’s move out together, I was tickled pink with delight and told my son we are moving out.  I really cannot recall if he was happy I would say he was.. from what i was informed he was not nice to my little boy and dont think I didnt give him a shouting at .. If you ever think of looking at my boy even a little, I will make sure your sorry ass is mine.. furious wasn’t even close, seething with anger yes, indeed that is pretty much how I felt and even more so…

Slamming the door as his ego got bashed me at 5 foot nothing and him 6 foot 4, some people should have more sense to put years on some adults that should know better, however, not my worry, the next week or so I made sure my son was sleeping comfortable next to me smiling and laughing, I do believe he adored every minute as I did…

The BIG MOVE…..

  I ordered a truck to pick up my entire things all in ONE go, make it happen boys my son is at school and I want to be out of this hovel of a place…. which they did pretty snappy and that was devine and gave me a bit of a breath .. saying to myself , thank bloody god!

I didn’t realise just how stressed I was until I was in my new place unpacking my clothers and putting my sons things into his cupboards, I sat onto his bed and took a few moments to take it in… recall what had happened and I started to cry in fact sob my eyes out in absolute relief and so many why’s, why did bad things happen to me, why did I deserve this, I must be a bad person, It must be a lesson in my life that I had to learn, I would say many of these things and feel everyone of them, let me tell you!

After I had finished tearing myself apart with pity, guilt , blame, and sorrow, I would then wipe my eyes, put on my make-up and continue with my day… btw this was between working for the big T (casual) it felt like FULL time, however, it kept my mind busy and my day went quick.

And life as I thought was okay however, I was suffering from a quick temper, a tad little bit braisen and I really had enough of living with others I wanted to be solo or at least safe with someone that was more familular I guess…

Moving forward to my current moment in time… meeting my current husband…

Like I said way up the page I finally meet this man that sounded like something from a Drama Romance Sit Com (Days of our Lives) his voice was amazing and we spoke for quite a while over the telephone before he jetted down from Bunbury to visit.

Before I fast forward this part I must admit I was nervous and anxious, I was worried that it was too soon to date and even though the terrible incident only happened a few weeks ago I had not realised that it was only 3 maybe 4 I cannot be too sure just how much time had past I knew it was not enough time for my mind , body and soul to heal it’s wound..

However, we met, we liked each other and the rest is my private business, however, I would like to say, if you ever are unfortunate in being put in a position like me I sugguest you speak to someone even it is a close friend… In my case well, I didn’t have one nor would I talk…

I was lucky and unlucky.. it affected many areas of my personal life, my relationship, friends and my son even though he never knew … My own personal battle calapsed and I was affraid to fight, I felt like a disappointment, I knew his father would be much better as a parent… however, I never told his dad, nor did I tell my husband everything until 20 years had past… and now, I thankfully with the help of my darling man and his friend… I owe my sanity and my life to those beautiful quality of a circle that is SMALL however, abundant and extremely loved by me….

GHB DATE RAPE DRUG

GHB LINK

Date Rape – InformationLadies and Gents, I want you all to understand that any type of liberty that is taken away without respect, without any warning and without your concent is an offense and for anyone that does this well, they can face years of jail time….

To my darling son Jordan, no words will ever bring back those years, I will tell you I did try and I was told to go away by your fathers lawyer, I cannot say this will change anything however, I will say that you may have grown up thinking I abandoned you, I will say this… I NEVER LEFT YOUR SIDE EVER, and I don’t care how your dad sees that TUFF, you have grown up into a very successful amazing man which I have to say I am not surprised…

I will forever love you, Francesca (removed the mother title as you requested)

xxx