#datblog

             I finally manned up enough to tell my now ex girlfriend that it wasn't working. We've been dating on and off for almost a year and we've probably only been "not together" about 3 weeks of that. We have been having all sorts of rough patches communicating and expressing ourselves to each other. I feel so bad about it right now, but I know in my mind and my heart that it's not right to string someone along who doesn't make me happy just to keep them happy. I definitely feel like I've finally made the right choice. She's come to my house crying twice and I've taken her back both times because I hate to see sadness in people. I am going to hold firm and stick to my guns, as they say. I will find someone who fits together perfectly with me eventually, but for a while, I think I just need to work on me.

            In other news, this is the 4th week consecutively that I've gotten up at 4:30 in the morning and gone to the gym on MWF and the 2nd week consecutively that I've eaten healthy and taken care of myself. I've been re-watching the "Avatar: The Last Airbender" tv show, and it's making me think a lot about myself and my own values as a person and all the struggles everyone faces. I know it's definitely unconventional that I'm getting insight from a children's cartoon, but I think that's something unique about me. I love that the show is teaching values about finding inner peace to master your surroundings and more importantly, yourself. It also is helping me to remember that we are all the same and connected. My closest friends over the years have been dwindling due to leaving for college, going into the military, or just plain becoming someone who doesn't share anything to gain with me. And this simple tv show is helping me remember that life and love is all around us. Inside all of us. And that we are unique, yet we are still all the same. I am going to better myself this year and every year forward until I no longer can.

                   So, I was at musical rehearsal yesterday, when wouldn't you know it, A FUCKING TORNADO DECIDED TO JUST ROLL ON INTO TOWN. We were in the middle of singing "Prima Donna" from Phantom, when the alarms started spazzing out. It was absolutely WONDERFUL, lemme tell you. We all had to huddle in the basement of the College. It was not my idea of a Wednesday night, but I got over it. So then the rehearsal goes on as normal when our stage manager came in and said "Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you should probably all check on your cars." 

                   We all headed outside, and literally, everyone's windows had been busted out of their cars from the pressure of the Tornado's winds. It was insane! I'd never actually witnessed the aftermath of tornado, even though I've lived in Missouri my whole life. Luckily, I had a crack in my windshield and my weather strip in my car was broken so the pressure equalized and I didn't have a shattered windshield. SUCCESS. Also, two of my friends had left their windows cracked before rehearsal so we were the only three out of 30 or so people without shattered windshields. When we returned inside, the power was out and by the time we got back to the choir room, it had come back on. Creepy thing is though, Mozart's Requiem started playing over the speakers; The CD player had kicked on when the power came back on. (Talk about creepy shit.)

           Well, today was the 10th day(?) total that I've been getting up at 4:00 A.M. to go work out. Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous, but I had this epiphany the other day about all the stuff I wanted to do before I'm 30 and it turned out that most of it was in some way related to being in shape. And considering that almost all of my time is being used currently at work or rehearsal for musicals/plays...that's kind of the old time I have to do it. It's so gratifying to wake up early and get shit done before anyone else is even awake. Talk about feeling like a BOSS. :D 

           Also, this blog isn't going to be about anything in particular, other than wasting time for the first hour of work every weekday, so don't worry about reading it every day. Or even at all if you don't want to! I JUST NEED AN OUTLET. Working every day with only four other people, one of which is my sister, gets quite boring and considering my time spent after work is at rehearsal, I don't get much social activity anymore.... that and being obsessed with my computer... I figured I'd make a blog to rant and talk about whatever is on my mind.