#data generation

No weed all day, I go to sleep tonight having stayed sober the whole day. (Unlikely but shoot for the moon, etc.)

Laugh with my sister

Make my brother laugh, smile, or give me a non-sarcastic thumbs up.

Think about niece and art

Tell Eliot he's a good boy.

Promote PBS

This morning I'm watching the Pressroom, Presented by azpm (my local PBS!). They're talking about a new Data Center going in near Tucson? Not gonna lie, it's dry as hell and my tiktok and YouTube shorts rotted attention span is having such a hard fucking time staying on the TV, keeps slipping back round tithe tablet.

The tablet is this is me typing this out. I think my autocorrect is trying to commit very sneaky sabotage one me. That or I'm an even worse writer than I thought I was lol. I look back on what I've written and it's nearly nonsense. I'm trying really hard, ya'll. I'm doing my best.

I'm spiraling the smallest bit now, just watch PBS.

My starting point:

Unemployed (for 10 months, just had to count it, Jesus christ)

No income

Very little money (like $15 if I scrounge all the $2 and $1.50 account balances together)

Trying to claw myself out of a depression pit (I was hospitalized in November)

No routines in life besides taking my pills at night and in the morning.

Very little hygiene in my life all together, just barely don't have matting hair (yet).

I know from past experience that I gotta start small, like one new habit every 3 days or so. Last night, I brushed my teeth for the first time in about a month, so right now the plan is aim for teeth brushing every night for the next 2 nights, and then we'll add the next thing.

I gotta get a shower in soon. Honestly feel like if someone says hey, you need to take a shower and I'd just take care of it. Gonna smoke when I get done with this, maybe I'll just jump into the shower then. Dream scenario I finish this post, smoke, take a nice shower and wash my bedding since I don't have any to just swap them out for. Set an alarm for 3 hours and check back in.

I've got to work on the plans too, give myself a path forward to keep myself going.

So step 1 in plan is build habits: current progress, I have pretty consistently written SOMEthing every day since I started this project. We're gonna get teeth brushing in on the do everyday. Need to work on things like washing dishes as soon as I am done with them, and try to get showering to at least every 3 days.

While working on that, I should be getting at least one job application a day in, keep writing, keep working toward starting streaming.