#dash:viper

I’ll gladly take you up on that offer.

Lit! Someone else beat you to it, and I don’t want to be That Douche™ that’s juggling a bunch of girls at once, but I’ll totally remember to hit you up first if this make out buddy doesn’t work out.

Of course you like everybody, but you totally seem like you crush on your castle trio! 

I. LIKE. EVERYBODY. I’m way less obsessed with them than Scooter is, why do I have to die?

If you’re setting me up with your exes then…yes, please call off the search. I don’t want what you used to have. Think about it. That’s you kissing them, kissing me. Gross. Waaaay gross.

I have good taste! And I wasn’t good enough for Lyra but maybe you could be. Um, grosser for you than me, they’d never touched your lips when I kissed them, but you’d have touched theirs once mine had already done it first. Although all of this seems like it’s assuming they don’t wash their lips... WAIT! Do people wash their lips? Am I supposed to be using soap on them?

Yeah, I definitely can’t say that. All the females are gorgeous as hell! Shapeshifting is really cool and all but when I use my powers I want people to know it was all Viper Bubbles

Dude but sometimes it’s like not even worth the whole trouble of having to hear someone complain or give you a lecture of the most epic prank you have ever pulled. Besides I’m sure even you have had your moments where you’re like shit, if I didn’t look as hot as I do maybe I would have gotten away with this or that.

You are more than welcome to, Emmett

When break’s over, you know where to find me. Until then, I’ll be sure to send you a little something to get you through the next couple of weeks.