Fred was not like other darkspawn.Other darkspawn only cared about normal darkspawn things like say... burning entire villages, tainting all of Ferelden and murdering everything in sight.
Fred was special.
Fred was better.
Fred knew what his fellow’s shallow superficial minds would never be able to comprehend. There was so much more to life then following the trivial directions of a cliché archdemon.
None of his fellows ever listened to Fred.
Which was probably why they died.
He had tried to have this talk with his alpha about forty times. It was about abstinence. Fred knew abstinence was important. He did not know exactly why abstinence was important. But that would not stop him from lecturing everyone else in this story about why they should be abstinent.
"Arraaaghhh grawwwraaahhh raagahhh raww" He told his alpha emphatically. Fred was pretty sure they were headed to a battle or something. It was not important.
"Rgwaaraahhh graw RAERAHHH You noying" The Alpha responded.
Fred often wished he was an apha. His quest would be much easier if he could talk.
Battle. Battle was beneath Fred. That was the sole reason why he ran from the fight the first chance he could get. Oh he let his fellows think he would stoop to their level. He roared at the humans for them and everything. Him running had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that there were giant four legged furry jaw monsters rushing at them. Battle was for the uncivilized. Now Fred only needed a place to hide.
He found it. It was there waiting for him.
A tower... not far from the battlefield towering above the fight.
There were dead around... But no furry beasts.
And so Fred entered the Tower of Ishal. moving upwards There were more dead darkspawn inside.
This would never have happened if everyone had listened to Fred.
And then Fred saw her. Brilliant red hair. warden uniform splattered in blood. Killing darkspawn that were not like Fred left and right.
Fred had finally found her. The almighty Main Character™ and then Fred saw him. The man With his eyes glued to the main character's arse. And suddenly Fred's life mission became crystal clear to him. Suddenly he knew what he had been born to do.
"ARRRAAGHHHHH grahhhh grah" Fred lurched out into view in elation, Moving between the two to block the sight of the woman's arse. The main character whirled as she finished murdering one of Fred’s cousins. RIP Bob
The man just sort of stared at him as he waved his arms "Well this is a right fix" That came from the main character. "Tori... It might just be me... I don't think that darkspawn has an attack circle... target thingy." The redhead nodded. "Yes that's why we're in a right fix" "I can't sheath my weapons until the combat music stops playing" The man began to whine. "We just have to find some other way to get rid of it" "Grrawwrrhg?" "We could always.... shove it out a window?" "Yes brilliant!" Before Fred could so much as run he had been thrust out the window and fell plunging to what should have been his death. But I do need him to continue this story so instead I'm saying he just broke both his legs, darkspawn heal fast you know.
