#darker impulses

Every full moon since that night with Hama Katara would feel a disturbing tingle in her fingers. The first time this happened she knew immediately what it meant and the memory of that destructive power made her shudder. She swore to herself that she would never use her bending that way again but Hama's words still haunted her nightmares.

"You're a bloodbender now."

She may have chosen not to use that dark power, but having done so once had irrevocably unlocked some dangerous potential within her. No matter how many times she told herself she would not use this power, the possibility would always be there.

And there were moments that she thought she might succumb to such weakness, in spite of everything. Whenever she felt herself overcome with rage at the injustices of the world, that distinct tingle would make itself felt and her fingers would twitch ever so slightly, as if seeking someone they could manipulate. She feared herself the most at such moments and she tried her best not to let the others see her internal struggles. As an additional precaution, on nights of the full moon, she stayed away from the group, making some excuse about needing some time alone to better control her element. It wasn't technically a lie but Toph was slightly suspicious. But the earthbender respected the waterbender's need for privacy.

Katara was also careful to avoid the things that might trigger an unexpected response, an instinctive taking of control. When Zuko first joined the group, Katara feared the worst, that she would so easily give in to her anger towards the firebender. She warned him once against harming Aang and that was was far as she allowed herself to go. For the most part, she observed him but avoided getting too close.

One night, he stumbled upon her in a particularly distressed state. The urge to bloodbend was stronger than usual and she did not understand why. She was sitting down, hugging her knees, trembling and tearful, silently praying to the spirits that she would not succumb to these destructive tendencies.

Zuko had tried his best to stay out of the waterbender's way. After that first dire warning she gave him, he kept his distance even if he desperately wanted to earn her forgiveness and trust. He knew that he should have left her alone that night but she looked so miserable that he could not help but feel concerned. He knew that he had to do something so he approached her carefully.

"Katara, what's wrong?" he asked earnestly.

She looked up at him in surprise and saw that his concern was sincere. But the tingling in her fingers continued and she grew afraid of herself.

"What are you doing here, Zuko?" she asked.

"I saw you alone," he replied, "And I wondered if I could help you in any way."

She shook her head. "I'll be fine," she answered curtly. She wanted him to leave before she did anything she might regret.

He was unconvinced. "You really don't look all right," he said, walking closer to her, "Are you sure…"

"Stay away from me!" Katara cried, standing up suddenly and walking away. "You don't know what I can do."

Zuko was surprised by such a violent reaction but he recognized someone lashing out in pain. That was all too familiar to him.

"I know that you're one of the most powerful waterbenders I've ever met," he said calmly, "And it's probably unwise for me to provoke you during a full moon. But you're not invincible, Katara. Let me at least get someone to help you."

"Why do you care?" she retorted, turning to face him, "You have no idea of what I'm going through right now.You can't possibly understand."

"Try me," Zuko said stubbornly.

Katara stared at him incredulously. He was not in fighting stance and he made no sign of aggression. He simply stood there waiting, an expression of worry on his face. He was not an enemy anymore but she could not forget who he was.

For one mad moment, she felt the urge to bloodbend. She clenched her fist and looked away but Zuko had caught the expression of hatred that had flashed in her eyes, immediately replaced by terror and guilt.

"You would not hurt me, Katara," he said softly.

"How can you be so sure?" she asked.

"You certainly could, you're more than strong enough," he explained, "But you're also one of the kindest people I've ever met. You always see the best in people."

Katara looked at him then, tears streaming down her face. "How can you say that to me after the way I threatened you?"

"I deserve your anger," he replied gravely, "And I will work as hard as I can to earn your forgiveness. But you don't have to suffer alone."

The waterbender unclenched her fists and looked at her trembling hands. Zuko then got a better sense of her struggle, even if he did not know exactly what was plaguing her.

"I don't want this," Katara whispered desperately, "I don't ever want to use this power again. Not on anyone. Not for anything."

The firebender attempted to approach her once more. "You can control it," he told her reassuringly, "If anyone can fight it, you can."

"But how can you know about this?" Katara looked at him questioningly. There was no longer any bitterness in her tone, only despair.

"I know a thing or two about darker impulses," Zuko told her gently, "And I know that these can be conquered, when one's heart is true, as I am sure yours is."

Taking advantage of the waterbender's stunned silence, Zuko dared to take her hands in his as tenderly as he could. The trembling stopped at once and Katara looked from her hands to the nervous face of the firebender before her. Gone was that poisonous urge to take control, replaced by an overwhelming sense of relief and profound peace.