#darkceilingwithoutastar

[Claire]: I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you. That’s the last thing I wanted.

Deleted before being sent with a second attempt a few moments later:

[Claire]: I’m going to miss you. Look after Toni for me.

rules. tag 10 followers you wanna get to know better! repost, don’t reblog. tagged by. @happyfoxofthecloudtemple tagging. @mangledchaos @darkceilingwithoutastar​ (for when you get you’re muse back ;D) and @piratekittylitter​ (because I’m trash and tag myself so I don’t loose it)

If you wanna do it go ahead? I TAG YOU!

Call Clint paranoid all you want, but he gets nervous when people linger around his building but don’t actually enter it. This woman has been walking back and forth in front of the entrance for all of about ten minutes now -- and that’s just what Clint has seen. Who knows how long she’s been there? Finally, he has enough and heads downstairs.

It takes a couple minutes, but within a short amount of time, he’s outside of the apartment building, waiting for her to talk by again. When she does, he steps in front of her.

[text: Claire] Claire I’m In Public.

pause

2. How does the time your muse lives in influence their lifestyle? Are they happy they’re born in their time, or do they fantasise about a different era?

Tami pls. Why. Is this a srs question from you????! Whatever its getting a serious answer.Steve didn’t know to hate the 40′s when he lived it. Its hard to hate a life that you’ve always known I think. The food was what the food was, the culture was what the culture was. And while I think Steve was more aware than most people of that era he was still a product of it. Because while he is a dreamer he is also practical. He is a tactician. A planner. He did not sit and think “if I’d been born 100 years from now…” he sat and thought “wow if I was healthier I could get a job and afford x, y or z”. Now though? The 21st century is an odd thing for Steve. Because there’s a host of things he doesn’t say. And he keeps waiting for the foot to drop in the back of his head.(The moment he realized the black woman and the white man were a couple on the subway and he wanted to tell them to hide. Wanted to tell them that he was happy for them but they needed to be more discreet. He spent the rest of the ride eyeing the people around them waiting for something to be said. He was surprised when it wasn’t. Because that wasn’t done openly in his day.) There’s a difference between knowing logically things are different, and expecting them to be different. He is content with many things about the 21st century, but he is frustrated because he is also watching a new generation become aware and he wants them to fight for it to become even more of what he never allowed himself to dream about in the 30s and 40s.  

5.  Does your muse have any irrational fears that hold them back in life? Do they come from experience (trauma) or is it, for instance, part of a belief system they have?

Irrational fears? Not particularly. Rational ones that annoy him? Definitely. He hates the cold. Hates it. If he ever gets sent to like Florida in July he’d be content. Steve gets chills sometimes and doesn’t know why? A kind of reaction to the amount of time he as spent literally on ice. He doesn’t like that a lot. He is afraid of the quiet and the sound of the ocean more than really the ocean itself. Because he sat in the cockpit and listened to the the silence and nothing but the sounds of waves while he fell asleep. Falling asleep is another thing. He hates it. He hates to sleep. He wakes violently most of the time. Not a lashing out kind of violence but panicked. Heart racing and looking around and for a moment fearing its been another time lost. He is the worst about sleeping on he couch. Generally with one of his cats resting on his chest or near him because the sound of their…well I mean that sounds weird but the sound of them. Their heartbeat, their breathing, when he wakes reminds him that everything is okay.He’s fine. Most of all he fears being little again to be honest. He fears being useless.

18.  What skills does your muse have and how did they come to have them? Was it hard work to learn them? What do they use their skills for? Are there any skills your muse wishes they had?

Drawing, running, fighting, and the sheer determination Steve has? These are all skills Steve has. Ones that he would tell you all took an incredible amount of work and energy to get right. I feel like they’re all pretty self explanatory though.

He wishes he could cook.He can’t. (Keep him away from the stove. Seriously.)

20. What does your muse think of secrets? Do they keep many or a few and what is their motivation to keep something secret? Have they ever been hurt by a secret someone else kept from them?

Steve thinks that secrets have their time and place. He’s weirdly ambivalent about them to be honest. He was a bisexual man in the 40s okay, like he understands the need to be discreet personally. But he has very little patience for them when it comes to putting other people’s lives on the line. Steve Rogers keeps secrets out the wazoo. Like shit. Does he talk about his panic attacks? No. Does he talk about his ptsd? Nah. Does he mention the dissociation episodes that he’s been experiencing practically he got the serum and his body changed IN LITERALLY 2 MINUTES? Nada. Steve doesn’t talk about his own problems ever. These are in effect secrets. The same could be said for romantic feelings for people? He doesn’t talk about it. And generally he only does once it is completely hopeless and then its less a “be with me” and more a “I just need you to know”. Steve’s secrets generally involve putting himself last.

Steve has been hurt by secrets a lot. People secretly leaving, people hiding from him. Likely he’s still hurting over those secrets. But he isn’t gonna talk about that hurt CAUSE GUESS WHAT? ITS A SECRET.