#darkaqua

Two weeks after her breakdown, however, she is finally convinced by Ventus to accept help from Kairi so that her heart can begin to recover from her long ordeal. It is difficult, of course, since she herself does not think that there is anything wrong with her and thus doesn’t see how it will help her, but soon she has to admit that Kairi’s light magic does soothe her frayed nerves and clears her mind and makes her feel lighter in general.    

Not surprisingly, she is extremely wary when Sora and Riku start hanging out with Ventus casually as friends, snarling slightly whenever she sees them get close. It is not that she hates them personally anymore—not like she still detests Mickey and Yen Sid—but she is suspicious of anything that could be a threat to Ventus. It is only when Ventus assures her that he is not in danger with them and that he wants this that she finally backs down. But not before threatening to feed them to the Heartless if they ever put Ventus in unnecessary danger.

In the meantime, she and Ventus also become more re-acquainted with one another. It has been a long time, and they hardly recognize the people they used to be. She learns of what Ventus endured while being held captive by Xehanort, while she reluctantly tells him a tiny bit about what it was like in the Organization with Terra. It pains her, but she owes Ventus that much, after all that he has been through.  

She would’ve avoided speaking of how she gave Ventus over to Master Xehanort—in fact she had hoped that they would not have to speak of it—if it weren’t for Ventus. He forces her to confront her guilt over that event, and assures her that he does not blame her for any of what he went through. She is sceptical about that, but he says firmly, ‘You weren’t in your right mind. I know that. We all do.’

She looks away from him, unable to face him. ‘That is not true,’ she says. ‘I… I did it of my own free will. When he ordered me to do it, I did not even hesitate, or think. I just did it without a second thought.’ It pains her inside to remember it, even now. She’d sworn to protect him, but instead she had betrayed him and handed him over to Xehanort.

‘No,’ he insisted. ‘He was controlling you. It wasn’t your fault. You have to believe that. And even if it was, I forgive you anyway. So, you don’t have to feel guilty about it anymore.’

It touches her that Ventus, who suffered because of what she did, is trying to reassure her and comfort her. Tears spring into her eyes at the thought of it.

‘Thank you, Ventus,’ she says. ‘You are a true friend.’

He grins a teary grin at her. ‘All I’ve wanted is to see you and Terra again,’ he tells her. ‘How could I ever be angry at either of you for anything that might’ve happened? You’re my best friends.’

To stop herself from crying again, she looks away and changes the conversation topic.

oOoOo

One day, Ventus suggests that they go on an outing to another world. She looks at him as if he is crazy, when he makes his proposition. He wants to take time off now, when Terra is still in danger? It is ridiculous. She would say so, but Ventus speaks first.

‘It’ll be good for us,’ he says. ‘We can’t help Terra if we’re not at our best.’

Grudgingly she agrees, and the two of them fly off to Neverland.

It is strange to be back there. The last time she was in Neverland, she led an ‘expatition’ with the Lost Boys and Peter Pan up through Rainbow Falls. She found Ventus’ wooden keyblade abandoned and fought Vanitas in the Indian Camp.

She looks around at the scenery, awe filling her heart. She has not seen such beauty in a very long time—not since she fell into the Realm of Darkness thirteen years ago. Too long a time, she thinks.

She sniffs, and feels a tear roll down her cheek. That is surprising—she had thought that she had run out of tears to cry. But these are tears of joy, not only grief. Ventus take her hand—not possessively or with intimacy, but in a clear show of support and friendship. She turns to see him grinning at her.

‘It’s nice, isn’t it?’ he says. ‘I had the same reaction when I saw it again for the first time.’

She nods, rendered speechless by everything she is seeing. Something baffles her, though. How can he be so nice to her when she has been so horrible to him? She supposes it shows how good he is compared to her. She can’t help it—guilt and remorse give her heart a twinge. She looks away from him, suddenly uncomfortable.

‘Ven, I’m sorry. I have not treated you well.’

Ventus looks away. ‘It’s okay. You’ve been through a lot.’

It touches her to see how selfless he is being—unlike her. She cannot remember a time now (after her corruption) when she had not thought of herself first. Now, for the first time, she considers him. He has been through as much as she has, she realises with a twinge of guilt. He has been held captive by Master Xehanort, has probably endured isolation, fear, worry and pain, and yet he thinks of her first instead of him. It opens her eyes to see it.

‘No,’ she says adamantly. ‘It is not. I haven’t been fair to you at all. I will make it up to you somehow. I promise.’

She does not know how yet, but she will think of something. She has too. She has been self-absorbed for far too long—it is time she focused on someone else for a change, and not just for her own self-interest.

Ventus sees the new light and conviction in her eyes and grins again. She can see his eyes brim with hope as he hugs her tightly. ‘I’ll hold you to that,’ he tells her. ‘Don’t worry.’

oOoOo

That night, she dreams of Terra for the first time in months. Not the brown-haired, blue-eyed man she’d visited before, but a cross between him and the silver-haired, gold-eyed man present in her memories of Xehanort’s Organization.  

‘Terra?’

The name feels strange in her mouth. She reaches out a hand to him, but he just looks at her with those cruel gold eyes and turns away. She can almost sense what he is saying. Go away. I do not want you here. But she keeps reaching for him, calling out his name until her mind’s voice is hoarse with it. No matter how much he objects, she will always be there for him, no matter what.  

She wakes up with a hammering heart and a sweaty forehead, and fear, protectiveness and rage in her heart. Unlike the previous dreams, she remembers this one clearly. She mulls over it in her mind. What is Xehanort doing to Terra? She dreads to think of it.

‘I dreamed of him too,’ Ventus admits over breakfast that morning, when she recounts her dream to him. ‘I was floating in darkness and I could sense him somewhere below me. I tried to reach him but I couldn’t.’

Though Aqua is reluctant, they decide to go to Yen Sid to ask for his advice on the matter. She supposes that since Terra’s life is at stake, they can take the risk just this once. Though, she vows that if the old master betrays them, she will take Ventus and run, no matter what the younger keyblade wielder thinks.

‘Hmm.’ The retired old master fixes them with an intense glare as they tell him about their dreams. ‘This is most interesting.’

‘What does it mean, Master?’ Ventus asks.

‘It means that there is still a chance for him,’ Yen Sid says. ‘I had thought that he would be too darkened by Master Xehanort to be recovered, but if either of you can reach him then perhaps it is not too late.’

Her heart leaps at his words. She bites on her lip to stop herself from gasping in hope.  

‘That is all that I can tell you. The rest you must solve yourselves. Now go.’

‘Wait,’ she snaps as he turns away. ‘Why are you helping us?’

He eyes her grimly. ‘Because I care, Master Aqua. You, Ventus and Terra are like niece and nephews to me. Master Eraqus was also my old friend. I want nothing more than for you three to be happy and safe.’

‘So you say,’ she snaps, glaring daggers at him. Where was he when she and Ventus were in danger, then?

Before she can say anything more, Ventus elbows her and tells the retired master, ‘Thank you, Master Yen Sid. We’ll do as you say.’

As he says? Over her dead body. But Ventus drags them both out of the tower room before she can so much as open her mouth to speak again.