#darekurt

Tina did her best to steady her breathing. Hyperventilating, for little to know reason was not on her to-do list for the day. It wasn’t that she expected Kurt to react negatively, it was everyone else she was worried about. Tina thought she looked okay. She felt like she perfected the dark, smoky look, with her make-up, but her get-up wasn’t anything special. No matter, how many times she changed her style of clothing, she was just as atrocious at dressing herself. Tina looked in the mirror again, and thought about how people would look at her differently. Would they even notice? She’s not sure which answer she’d prefer.

She was essentially, trying to reinvent herself. Would it be easier if McKinley knew? Probably not. But she had supportive people. People like Kurt. And it would be nice to not hide her relationship, if she really did meet a girl. She didn’t think she could handle what Kurt was having to do. She mentally marked that as another topic to bring up, tonight. She still didn’t like what Kurt was having to do. It just, didn’t make sense to her. But then again, Tina detested the class system at McKinley. If they care about the social workings, more than their boyfriend, Tina wasn’t sure how much she trusted him.

It was early afternoon when Kurt parked up at Tina’s house. He hadn’t been here in a while but it still looked completely the same on the outside. He wasn’t sure Tina’s room would still be the same though. He clambered out of the car and grabbed the paper bag he’d brought him with a few bits and pieces to spruce up Tina’s look. He’d meant it when he’d said that he’d help her figure out an outfit. And maybe he’d been thinking about how to arrange more than one with what she already had in her wardrobe.

He ran his fingers through his hair as he knocked her front door, shifting the bag a little further under his arm as he waited for Tina to open the door to him. He was trying to focus on what he could do with her wardrobe as well...he was slightly nervous that she might ask him about his boyfriend again. He knew what she was like and well, if she wanted to try and help him with this she would. Unfortunately, he didn’t think she really could help here. So he’d just have to try and avoid the subject the best he could.

For a brief few moments, Tina considered acting like no one was home. When she finished berating herself, because this was KURT, she took a deep breath and opened the front door, already speaking as fast as her mouth would permit, “Hi, Kurt! You look fabulous, as usual. Can I take your coat or bag? By the way, I like girls. Like, a lot. You thirsty? We have water. And tea. And coffee. And vodka.” Tina would have facepalmed, had her soul not left her body. The fact that she was having so much difficulty telling KURT, of all people, was frustrating. What about when she tells the rest of the occupants of their school? Would she self-destruct?

He raised an eyebrow at her offer of alcohol. He knew he didn’t really drink, he hoped she didn’t drink too often herself. But he had the feeling she was just nervous for some reason. “I’m fine Tina,” he promised as he slipped his jacket and shoes off before putting them to the side himself before he turned to her. “C’mon, we can grab drinks, you can tell me why you’re freaking out before we attack your wardrobe,” He commented, keeping the bag in one hand as he grabbed one of her hands with his other and pulled her towards the kitchen. He felt comfortable here, they might have started to grow apart but some things hadn’t really changed. He deposited his bag on the table and went to grab mugs out of the cupboard, hoping they were still in the same place they’d been last time he was here.

It was hard for Tina to not feel embarrassed with Kurt, her guest, taking care of things like he was the host, but it was just like before they stopped talking, and it was comforting to know that even when things change, they always stay the same. She found herself calming considerably, and her breathing evened out. She watched him take mugs from the usual cupboard and smiled, “There’s hot chocolate, as well, if you like.” She took a moment to organize herself and tell herself, “This is happening. You decide how.”

“I’m going to have a coffee. What did you want?” He asked as he made himself the drink, switching the kettle on as he turned back towards her. “So what’s going on with you? I’m only here to help you find an outfit,” he commented as he raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. He hoped he wasn’t making her nervous but seriously, if she had something to tell to him then she should. It wasn’t like he was going to judge her for it, she was his friend after all. He loved her after all.

“Cocoa is fine. I can’t handle caffeine when I’m stressed.” Tina took a huge breath and swallowed thickly, “I like girls. Like, a lot. Like, how you like boys?” Immediately, Tina felt better. Suddenly, it didn’t matter how Kurt reacted. Of course, she still needed him to love her, but she knew that no matter how anyone feels about her, she felt truly, at ease, knowing she found a piece of herself. She grinned and looked up at Kurt, with nothing but elation and confidence.

Considering Tina had described the Mack the other day as delicious in a leather jacket, this wasn’t a huge surprise to Kurt. It was a little, he’d never seen her checking out girls or anything in the past but that didn’t matter. As long as she was happy, he was happy for her. “Okay. I’m glad you told me,” he replied, not sure else what she’d want him to say. He was happy for her but it didn’t affect his life, who she liked was up to her. Still, he smiled at her and turned around to make her cocoa as well as his coffee.

“Thanks, Kurt. I’ve just, never admitted it, out loud, before. It feels good.” Tina was back to her feet, her anxious attitude gone, and a chipper attitude, which was especially great for her, replaced it. “I think, I should bake a cake. What flavor would you like?” Tina moved about in the kitchen, with a burst of energy, gathering everything necessary for her cake. “How was Dalton? We never got a chance to talk about your new school.”

Kurt was a little surprised that Tina was suddenly ready to bake but he wasn’t going to turn down free cake. He’d have to drag her upstairs once it was in the oven though. “Chocolate?” He suggested as he finished their drinks and popped one of the mugs down beside her. He sipped at his cup as he thought back over the time he was at Dalton. It felt a while ago after having enjoyed the summer and focusing on getting back to McKinley. “It was a good school. The classes were more challenging and the exams harder but I liked that,” he explained, nursing his drink now in his hands. “I made some good friends in the Warblers as well but wearing a uniform was so stifling. As was everything else,” he answered with a small shrug. “It was a relief to feel safe in school though and it did mean that I got to go to two proms,” he commented with a small grin as he pulled out a seat from the kitchen table so he could sit down and watch her.

“The best kind!” Tina reached down and took a careful sip, so as to not burn herself, and pulled out the chocolate cake mix. “Well, I’m glad you made friends, but I’m more glad that you’re coming back to us. Tell me about them. That Blaine boy is attractive… In like, a really hair-gel sort of way. Oh! Is he your secret boyfriend?” Tina took a second to look at Kurt, “And you’re sure Karofsky won’t be a problem? Finn mentioned, he might need to fight him. I offered the Mack, as back-up, of course. But I would hope, we don’t need to resort to violence, even if he deserves it.” She returned to her her baking with a look of concentration, “You want cupcakes or a regular cake?”

He actually started laughing when Tina asked if his secret boyfriend was Blaine. He didn’t even think the guy was that attractive, even if he was a great friend. “No, he isn’t. My boyfriend actually goes to McKinley,” he informed him, smiling a little dreamily at the thought of Finn. He’d be able to see him during the school day again, even if they couldn’t act like boyfriends. “The Warblers though… Blaine is addicted to bow ties outside of school and he jumps about a lot during performances. He’s fun, maybe a little naive though. Then there’s Jeff who’s really nice and an amazing dancer. I’m probably closest to him and you might see Sebastian on Tumblr. We’re not friends though, he’s a dick actually,” he explained before he stopped to take a drink of his coffee. “Cupcakes,” he answered quickly when she asked.

“McKinley? Ow!” Tina turned quickly, and hit her head. She had figured, Kurt’s boyfriend was at Dalton. It made sense in her head. There weren’t many dudes who swing that way at McKinley, and Kurt was going to Dalton. “Wait! Is that why you’re coming back? Is it somebody I know?” Tina knew, just about, everyone at McKinley, even if they didn’t know her. She was kind of, all over the place, last year, and she learned a LOT about her classmates and their secrets. But this? This was a bit of a curveball. “Yeah, maybe I lied when I said he was attractive. I don’t find many guys attractive, these days. And Jeff? I think he seemed like a nice person. And I’ve read some of Sebastian’s posts. I’ll just say, no, about that one.” Tina pulled out the correct pan to make cupcakes with and continued her work, her concentration, not what it was, a moment ago.

“No, I’m coming back because I never wanted to leave. I just didn’t have much of a choice before,” Kurt replied and that was the truth. Sure, it would be great to be at the same school as his boyfriend but that wasn’t why he was transferring. He wanted to be with all his friends and be somewhere he actually felt comfortable. That was all there was to it. “As for whether you know them or not...you do but I’m not giving you any more of a clue then that,” he told her. He hummed in response to her comments about his former classmates and sat there quietly for a little while as he watched her mix the cake mix.

It didn’t take long, before the cupcakes were in the oven and Tina walked over to hug Kurt, “I miss you. And I love you. But are you sure, you’re okay with this whole thing? Not only with Karofsky, but with this secret boyfriend nonsense? It just doesn’t feel right to me. They care more about their social standing, than being open about your relationship? It just feels like you’re just his dirty little secret, and I know you like this guy, but try and look at it from a different perspective. You sure that this is good for you?” Tina looked into her best friends eyes. She was worried about him. This secrets business sucked. It made her really weary about the outcome.

Kurt hugged her back but he pulled away to look her in the eye. “I’m sure I’m okay with it. Karofsky I’m going to try and deal with on my own. As for my relationship…” he trailed off and sighed. He pulled away fully, placing his cup down on the table before he picked up his bag and grabbed her hand again with his free hand. He started to pull her towards the stairs while she was distracted. “He is good for me and I know you’d agree if you knew who it was. He doesn’t care more about his social standing but he’s scared about how people will react. I can hardly blame him for not wanting this to be difficult but he will come out. When he’s ready and not before then.” He stopped when they reached her room and he dropped the bag on her bed, gesturing at the wardrobe. “He really cares about me, Tina. He’s already shown me in more ways than you know,” he promised as he turned back to her.

Tina sighed. This was exactly how she had expected this conversation to go. “Just be safe, Kurt.” She allowed herself to be dragged into her own room. Most of her closet consisted of dark shades. Plus her football and cheerios uniforms. There were a few things that popped, when it came to colors, but they were few and far between. “I really need to clean out my closet. I just, don’t even know where to start. I don’t even know, how I want to dress! I like my black and all, but maybe it’s time for a new me, you know? Wait! Are gay people supposed to dress a certain way? Is there some kind of gay code? Oh, no! What have I gotten myself into?!” And just like that, she was back to panicking. Her wardrobe has always been difficult for her, but she never let Kurt do anything about it, until now. She was too afraid of change. Now, she felt clueless.

“No Tina, gay people don’t have to dress a certain way,” Kurt reassured as he started looking through it to see what exactly he could find. She had a lot of black, a lot of alternative clothes and not a lot of color. He could make this work though, he paused on a very over-the-top dress, some of it should probably be thrown away though. Some of it could be worn down with some toned down accessories and a little more color thrown in. He pulled out a simple black sundress and he turned around to pulled out a thin gold belt before he turned to her shoes. So many boots...he loved boots himself but she could do with more variety. He nudged a pair of black flats forwards as well. “You could try this with a white jacket and a gold necklace,” he told her. He then pulled out a white dress with a black collar and nodded in approval. He then dug through the closet and found the leotard he’d been looking for before he turned to her with a grin. He placed it on the bed before he turned to his bag and pulled out a light pink skater skirt and a pair of silver flats. He hadn’t spent much money, he’d make sure to go somewhere cheap but the material would last and they didn’t look bad. “I thought you could do with some new additions. Now this is all feminine and it still has some of that black you love. Provided you don’t layer black on black, you can still wear most of this without looking like a goth or a skater. Even some of your old vest tops can still be worn if you just wear blue denim or a different colour jean. Just mix it up a little,” he told her, wondering what she would think.

While Tina was relieved that she didn’t have to adhere to a dress code, she was definitely unsure of the clothes. Yeah, they looked nice, she guessed, but on her? “Are you sure about this Kurt? It all very nice, but do you think I could pull any of this stuff off? I’m the girl in the background, remember,” she reckoned. Walking over to the selections Kurt picked out, she picked up the pink skirt. She couldn’t remember the last time, she wore pink. It wasn’t her “style.” More deep breaths. New Tina, she thought, and looked to Kurt, “What would go well with this? Also, why so many dresses? Maybe I should dye my hair to get it to go with the new colors?” She was still clueless, but she can do this. She’s gonna be a different person, this year, and from here on out. She chuckled as she realized something, “It must have been so awful, for you, to have to wear the same thing everyday, at Dalton. I can see why you’re so eager to come back.”

Kurt looked at the skirt again. “A plain white blouse would look nice with it and I know you own at least one. You can experiment with different colored sleeveless tops as well,” he told her. He could see she looked unsure so he picked up the leotard and placed it over her arm as well. “Pop into the bathroom and try them on. If you don’t like them, don’t wear them. Just think of this as a year to try new things and decide how you want to look, not what do you want to wear to hide or fit into a group,” he said. He smiled brightly at her and squeezed her shoulder gently. “You’re an amazing woman and super talented Tina Cohen-Chang, it’s about time you stop being the girl in the background and start to stand out.” He moved back to sit beside the clothes on the bed, leaning back on his arms as he looked around the familiar bedroom. “I’ve mostly picked out dresses as all the pants I can see in there are a little too alternative for my tastes. But with a few new pairs of jeans I’m sure you could rock a more casual look as well,” he commented. Part of him longed to get a bin bag, go back in the wardrobe and throw some things away but for that she might kill him. He laughed as she commented on his uniform.

“Oh, I’m definitely looking forward to wearing my own clothes to school. Do you know how stiff those blazers are? We couldn’t even take them off in the summer without the teacher’s permission. It sucked!”

Glancing at the leotard and skirt in her arms, Tina hazarded an ask, “Should I wear them at the same time? Was that a stupid question?” Another deep breath. “Right. Stand out. Got it.” She tried to picture herself in a white blouse with the skirt and hummed when she couldn’t do so, she went ahead and just pulled a white blouse out, holding them out to see them together. Having a thought, she turned back to Kurt, “Give me a moment.” And with that, she wandered into her father’s room. A few seconds passed and she came back with an assortment of ties. She paused at something Kurt said. “Blazers,” she repeated, looking out into space, with a thoughtful look, “You think I could rock one of those? And what if I pair one of these with this outfit,” she added, motioning to the blouse, skirt, and ties. Having put her thoughts out in the open, Tina let herself replay Kurt’s words in her mind. “You mean you couldn’t wear anything but that outfit, even when you weren’t in school? That’s a cruel joke, right?” She didn’t like stressing over the way she dressed, but she was pretty sure, she would’ve hated a dress code, like that one.

“Yeah, I think you could rock a blazer and a skinny tie would look good with that outfit. See, you do know what to wear,” Kurt replied, grinning as he sat up fully. He pulled a face at Tina’s question, “Well I only had to wear it at school and on any trips or competitions but pretty much. Most of the guys who board change as soon as classes are over if they don’t have a club meeting they need to be in uniform for,” he told him. It had been pretty horrible though and he looked at her wardrobe again.

“Any more ideas?” He asked.

“I don’t know. I guess it just sounded like me. I’ll try to keep thinking.” Shaking her head, she grabbed everything necessary for her little game of dress up and strolled into the bathroom. A second later, Tina came out, not having changed yet, and charged up to Kurt, placing him into a bone-crushing hug. “Thank you. For everything. I’m glad to have a friend like you. I’m gonna be myself and you’re gonna knock ‘em dead on your last year. This is gonna be a good year.” She sounded, and in a rare occurrence, felt confident.

Kurt laughed as Tina came running back out of the bathroom to hug him and he squeezed her back. “This is going to be a great year,” he agreed. “We should go see Mr Schue together on Monday to ask him about rejoining the Glee club.” he suggested, hoping that she would. It would be easier with a friend with him and at least he wouldn’t be the only person coming back.

With a mixture between a grin and a smirk, Tina nodded her head, “We’re gonna make sure the New Directions win at nationals, this year.” Her eyes went wide, as if realizing something, and she ran to her stereo, pressing the play button and singing along playfully when “Don’t Stop Believing” came on.