#dannyphillips

By Danny Phillips

  “I like the worship!” “My kids love it!” “The pastor is funny!” “I love the vision.” “I always learn something new.” These are statements I frequently hear from people about why they chose to attend the church they are currently attending, but there is one underlying factor to all of these things that is not mentioned. And that is relationship. Without relationships, eventually no one would attend your church.

“The worship is great…but I don’t really know anyone.” “My kids love it…but my wife and I cant seem to make any connections.” “That pastor is hilarious…but the people don’t seem very welcoming.” I have seen this many times before. A church will grow to a certain size, the people form relationships with each other, but somewhere along the line we close the door to our “club.” It happens in such a subtle way that we don’t even realize our group has become exclusive. Sadly, one of the quickest ways to discourage a new person from attending your church, and potentially forming a relationship with Jesus Christ, is to neglect them.

Think about it. When was the last time you were in a new setting and you did not know anyone? I’m sure you felt a little awkward standing by yourself, maybe nervous and a little self-conscious. Now imagine you are not a follower of Jesus. You are hurting and you have just stepped out of your comfort zone and gone to a strange church in an effort to find some sort of hope. You look around and everyone seems perfect. They all look happy, they are so nice to each other, their kids are laughing and playing with each other, but for some reason no one is speaking to you. How do you feel?

Unfortunately this scenario plays out every single weekend, at every church across the nation. This is not because we “Christians” are purposely being mean or have an elitist’s attitude. This is because we have neglected the second greatest commandment of all time, “Love your neighbor.” Jesus spent a massive amount of time loving people who were outside of his social circle. Jesus went out of his way (and his comfort zone) to build relationships with people who were unfamiliar.

For many of us it is simply about changing our outlook. We are in a routine that is comfortable. We visit the same restaurants, spend time with the same people, and attend the same church so often that we lose track of what’s happening outside our bubble. This simple oversight could potentially be the difference for a new family to become part of a life giving church and build great relationships with godly people or swearing off church for good because all of those “Christians” are stuck in their own little world.