#danielxmilly

Milly got back to campus as quickly as she possibly could and immediately went to Daniel's room. She should have changed her clothes. Maybe fix her hair or put on some makeup? But she wasn't thinking too much about any of that, she just needed to speak to Daniel. Quite a bit of time had already passed since they last spoke, so she was already panicking about being too late. All of the worst scenarios were running through her head. Daniel could have figured out that he didn't actually love Milly. He could reject her to her face, or not even open the door for her. He could already have someone else in his room. Milly always thought the worst in every situation, but this time it didn't stop her from what she wanted to do. She knocked on the door and took a deep breath in, "Daniel, are you there? It's me ... uh, Milly." Fucking obviously. she thought to herself.

To be honest, Daniel had been throwing himself a pity party. He had turned over the photo of the two of them on his desk and put on a romantic comedy before getting into bed and shutting out the world. Thankfully, Daniel had stopped crying by the time that there was a knock on his door. It was her. He was not ready to see her, "it's open" he said as he sat up in bed. If she was going to chew him out for being an idiot before, he did not want to get out of bed for it at all. He ran his hands through his hair, hoping he looked good. His regular Daniel confidence was not present at all, he felt like utter shit. He wasn't sure if it was the hangover or the embarrassment. It was definitely both, and he had been prepared to sulk for the next week at least before seeing her again. Not that he had ever gone that long without seeing her, but he was going to do his best to hold out. Now here she was in his room.

Milly wiped her hands on her pants before opening the door, her palms were already starting to get clammy. This was always the scariest part, the confession. It took her forever to work up the nerve to tell Luke how she felt back in the day, and that was just Luke. This was Daniel. This meant so much more. She had to remind herself that he already did the same thing, she could do it too. "Hello." she said a lot quieter than planned. Already a bad start. Fuck. Milly cleared her throat as she closed the door behind her, her heart was beating a mile a minute. "I'm ... I'm so sorry, Daniel." An apology was essential, she felt terrible for being so harsh. "I shouldn't have acted that way, or said what I said. It was mean and uncalled for, and um, it wasn't true." It was hard to keep her eyes on him, she was getting too nervous, but she made sure she did. This was important, and she wanted Daniel to know that she was speaking the truth. "When we woke up together, I was just really scared ... scared that we were going to be different because of it. I didn't want things to change between us, because I love how we are, you know?" she said with a weak smile. "I know I'm not the easiest to deal with, but I appreciate everything you do for me, even though I don't say it all the time. You mean so much to me. I wouldn't want anyone else other than you by my side." she shook her head. "Um, so when you came to talk to me, I panicked. I was just shoving my emotions down because I was scared. But I need to be honest, for you and for myself, and tell you that I do love you. I really love you, and I don't want to lose you. So if you still want to, obviously you don't have to, but if you do, I'd really like to go on that date."

Daniel might be an idiot, but he wasn't stupid. This was the part where he shut the fuck up and waited to hear the whole thing. She was starting with an apology, this was not good. Things were not looking good. Oh fuck. She was going to reject him more nicely this time. Why did he leave the door unlocked? Milly was maintaining a lot of eye contact for a rejection, god she was fearless when she wanted to be. This scene was going to be burned into his ego for so long, being rejected in his own room instead of a hallway. What a way to go. Then she continued on to say that she didn't want anything to change. He felt like such a fool for ever saying anything, of course she wanted things to stay the same. Why would she want to put up with Daniel like that? It was probably already too much to be his friend, he knew he was a lot to handle. He kind of blacked out in overthinking, which is not very Daniel. This was all just too much. He came to when she started to talk again. He stood up from bed and went over to her, still quiet. He put his hand on her chin and tilted it up as he leaned down to kiss her softly. If he had known that kissing Milly Hastings sober had felt like this before, he would have been hooked a long time ago. He pulled her in close for a hug as he held her head against his chest, "you can change your mind at any time and I promise I'll love you the same" he said quietly. There was this special smile on his face. For someone filled with joy and charisma all the time, Daniel was smiling his usual Daniel Altman smile at a severe constant. This one was different. It was a smile of being content. Of being whole.

Milly felt out of breath by the time she finished speaking. She was so scared that Daniel was going to reject her or laugh in her face, but this needed to be said. He had kept quiet the whole time which was a little alarming, Daniel didn't stay quiet too often. Then all he did was get up from the bed and walk up to her, Milly's heart felt like it was pounding out of her chest. She wasn't sure what to make of all this, until he leaned her head back and kissed her. Her body wasn't as tense anymore, it was like some kind of weight had been lifted off of her. A weight that had been there longer than she thought. It felt so good to be in his arms, she couldn't help but smile like an idiot as she wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. "I won't. I promise." she answered back truthfully. There was no one else she'd want to be like this with. Even before Milly had realized it, it had always been Daniel. Her heart was completely full in this moment, and she didn't think that would change any time soon.

After his talk with Charlie and Alice, Daniel quickly headed out and was running back to campus. When he was in town, he saw the farmer's market. He wanted to make this a grand gesture, so he picked up some flowers. People like flowers. Milly is people. Simple as that. Solid Daniel logic. He went back to his dorm room to shower, as he was requested, and smiled in the mirror. He's still got it ladies and gentlemen. Daniel fucking Altman. He got dressed, wanting to look his best to proclaim his love for Milly. It was so weird. After all this time ... he wanted to be with her. Like be with her be with her. It wasn't even a want at this point. He felt like he was going to lose her if he didn't make a move. What if he lost his only friend in the world. The only person who still loved him even when they were sick of spending time together. The only person who didn't ever push him ever. Daniel stood in front of her door and knocked, ready to give it his best shot. He wanted to be all in. He held up the flowers as she opened the door, and he shined that Daniel smile at her.

Milly turned on her switch and waited for her game to start up. She thought it would help distract her, but she couldn't shake off this unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach. Maybe she could have been kinder to Daniel when they woke up together, but she didn't want to talk about what happened. It was easier to simply act like nothing happened. If they acted like nothing happened, then they could go back to how they were. She didn't want things to change, she liked how her and Daniel were. Sure her relationship with her sisters got better as they got older, but Milly always felt alone in this world. All she had was herself and Daniel. She couldn't understand why on earth Daniel Altman would choose to spend his time with her, but he did, and it meant a lot to Milly. More than he could ever imagine, more than she could admit. Once she heard the knock on the door, Milly walked over to open it, seeing Daniel with some flowers. She tried to ignore the feeling of her heart race picking up as she looked up at him. Just seeing him put a small smile on her face, how could she not when he smiled like that? "Do you have a secret admirer or something?" she asked with a forced laugh. The flowers couldn't have been for her, so she acted like he received them from some person that was into him, cause he was Daniel. That sort of thing happens to people like him, right?

His heart was pounding. Daniel Altman did not get nervous, it felt like he was going to explode. When she laughed and asked if he had a secret admirer, his heart dropped a little. He knew the laugh was forced, he knew what her genuine laugh sounded like. There were very few things Daniel loved more than making Milly laugh, even if it was at him. "Uh no, they're for you" he said as he handed her the flowers. "I wanted to do this right" said the boy. He realized it sounded like he had gotten her pregnant or something. Like asking Milly out was some obligation, but he wanted to be with her. He knew that now. He had always known he wanted to grow old with her by his side, but he didn't realize how deeply important it was to him how she was next to him. "Milly, do you want to go out with me? Like on a real date" he asked, looking down at her and smiling that Daniel Altman smile. How could she say no to him? Was he not as important to her as she was to him. That just couldn't be the case. Daniel knew that. At least he thought he did as he felt the moments before she opened her mouth go by so slowly.

Milly bit down on her lower lip as Daniel said the flowers were for her. It wasn't very often that she received flowers from someone, the last time had to have been from her last boyfriend, Luke, but any time she did, she immediately got butterflies in her stomach. But this was all wrong. Daniel didn't need to give her flowers, he didn't need to give this pity gift. It was just making everything worse. Then he was asking her out. Daniel Altman was asking Milly Hastings out on a date. An actual date. Why was he going this far? He didn't have to do any of this. Did he feel this bad about what happened? Did Milly act desperate when they hooked up? "What? Daniel, why... why are you doing all of this?" she shook her head slowly. "I thought we agreed that we were just going to drop everything." Milly was almost embarrassed by all of this. "This is just all too much."

"Mills" said Daniel, "It's a lot but don't you think it's right? Don't you think about me when I'm not there. Every time I see anything, I can't wait to tell you about it. You're my best friend. I want more with you." Daniel looked at her, feeling his eyes make that sad look that they hadn't made in a long time. "I mean who are we kidding? I followed you to college. You're the only person who still likes me after spending too much time with me. I think I've been in love with you for a really long time but I just didn't understand it, or maybe I was scared to make moves like that because it could ruin everything. But we already did that, and we must have had fun" he said, breathing out. He hadn't even really thought about rejection on his way over here. Now it all felt too real. Too obvious. How could he have not thought about that?

If Milly's heart wasn't beating fast before, it certainly was now. But it wasn't because she felt the same way, no no no. This was just all overwhelming. It wasn't even a matter of feeling the same way, because this wasn't how Daniel actually felt. He didn't love her, not romantically at least. What was there to love? He could literally have anybody he wanted, because he was Daniel Altman. But he also had a big heart, and must have felt so bad for what happened between them, so he thought this is what he had to do. He had to settle for Milly. "Stop, stop. You don't mean any of that." She couldn't tell if she was furious or heartbroken. She didn't want her best friend to view her as some pathetic, fragile being that would completely crack because of some hookup. "That meant absolutely nothing. We're nothing more than friends, that's how it's always been. I was drunk and acted stupid, that's it. We're just friends, best friends. But that's it."

For the first time in a long while, Daniel had no idea what the other one was feeling. They were so connected. Sometimes, Daniel thought he had some sort of special Milly sense. Like he was one of the only people in the world that understood her. Right now? Right now did not feel like that. His heart was sinking in his chest. Daniel honestly couldn't remember the last time anyone had said no to him on something important. But to be fair, he couldn't remember the last time he had wanted someone else's approval so bad. "I do mean it, Milly. You can't tell me how to feel" said Daniel, talking quieter now than he had been. "You might feel that way, but you're not a stupid drunk mistake to me. Enjoy the flowers, and we can hangout sometime soon. I'm sure I'll be by." Daniel couldn't remember the last time he had ever even told her that they were going to be hanging out. It was always just see you later, and then a few hours would pass and they would be back together again. His ego was hurting. His heart was hurting. He wanted to kick himself for ever thinking that she would say yes. That this would be some ultimate moment. It was like waiting for Dad to come home, useless hoping.

There was something about this conversation that was making Milly feel even worse about herself. Not only did she think very highly of Daniel, she also thought he was simply too good for her. There were nights where she questioned why he even wasted his efforts on her, when doing almost anything else would be a better use of his time. There was a clear difference between the two of them. He was everything, and she was nothing. But right now, this comparison she made between the two of them was even more obvious. It was quickly reminding her of why she didn't like herself very much. All these flaws were coming to the surface. "Well I don't feel the same way." She couldn't even look Daniel in the eyes as she spoke. Milly took hold of the flowers and kept her eyes on them, it was better than seeing whatever expression he had on his face. The soft tone in his voice was already killing her. "Okay. I'll ... let you know when I'm free." This all seemed so uncomfortable. This wasn't how they usually talked. It felt like she was making awkward small talk with some random acquaintance. Daniel was the one person she felt the most comfortable talking to, but right now, she barely had any words for him.

She wouldn't even look at him. He'd really fucked up this time. She probably felt disgusting about what they did last night. Daniel was just a drunken mistake to her, and god it fucking hurt. She deserved so much more than a drunken hook up. Milly Hastings deserved flowers and dates and every rom com perfect montage. All Daniel had done was have sex with her, and she hated it. He was ready to make it up to her for the rest of his life, as her friend. But first he very desperately needed to cry, "see ya" he said as his voice cracked. Daniel hung his head and headed down the hallway to his own room. Thankful he had a single so he could be emotional in peace. It sucked that the one person he wanted to cry to about this was Milly, but that wasn't a reality right now.

Daniel opened his eyes to an early afternoon sun, feeling around to grab his phone from his bedside table it told him that it was already 2pm. The dining hall was closed, fuck. Daniel had half the mind to just roll over and go back to sleep until it was open, but when he did he noticed a girl was in his bed. He lifted the sheets ever so slightly to check her out, he couldn't remember who it was. Sign of a great night. He liked what he saw so he moved closer and put his arm around her waist, pulling her in closer to him so they could be touching before he started to drift back to sleep, wondering why the shampoo smelled so familiar.

Milly opened her eyes slowly as she felt someone's arm around her, she barely remembered what happened last night. She was drinking with Daniel as usual, but most of the night was pretty fuzzy for her. As the other person pulled her close, Milly fully realized the situation she was in and pulled the arm off of her. God, she really needed to stop drinking so much. She groaned and turned around to see Daniel fucking Altman's face. Nononononono. Milly sat up straight and kept the sheets over her, "Daniel!" she yelled out as she shook him awake. She would have just got up and left immediately, but something in her brain told her to not only stay, but to wake him up as well.

Daniel felt like he had basically just shut his eyes when he heard a voice he was not expecting to hear. "Jesus Christ!" The boy shot up out of bed and stopped touching her, moving to stand at the other side of the room before he realized that he was not wearing clothes at all. He grabbed a pillow to cover himself. "We are talking about this this time" said Daniel as he side stepped over to his dresser to grab a pair of boxers. He put them on quickly and tossed her a big t-shirt. "Don't go running out of here just because I gave you a shirt" he added. He couldn't believe this happened ... again. How does this happen twice? They had made it almost four full years of college partying and this had never happened. Daniel eyed the trash, there were not only condoms in there. But used ones. There was no denying it this time. He, Daniel Altman, had sex with Milly Hastings last night.

Milly grabbed the shirt Daniel tossed her and quickly put it on. "No we are not." she shook her head as she got out of the bed. She couldn't believe this was happening again. Again. "I will be running out here and, by the way, this shirt's sort of ugly. Goodbye Daniel." She tried picking up her clothes from the floor to then see the used condoms in the trash. Her heart nearly stopped. "We just need to forget about this. Nothing happened." she said in a bit of a panic, trying to convince herself that they didn't have sex.

"Okay, rude" said Daniel about his shirt, faking offense for a laugh. He moved himself in front of the door, tossing the pillow back onto the bed. Daniel crossed his arms, "Clearly something happened, I think we should talk about it. We're not 17 anymore, Mills" the boy said softly, he didn't want to like ... come at her. But it was weird that they never talked about it before, even though he was pretty sure nothing did happen back then. "Can we just order some breakfast on grubhub or something? Talk about this? Get you a different shirt?" he half teased.

Milly stopped in her place as Daniel blocked her from leaving the room. She crossed her arms and looked down at the floor once he technically brought up the last time they were in this situation. "What's there to talk about? Not talking about it seems fine to me, even forgetting about it completely might be a solid option as well." she tried to act casual, but she was panicking on the inside. Drunk hookups with literally anyone else? Gross, but she'll manage. Drunk hookups with Daniel? No. She looked up at her friend in silence and let out a sigh, "Fine, but I'm only staying because of the breakfast, and for a new shirt." she added in, hoping her joking back would calm her down a bit.

Daniel opened up his drawer and picked out another shirt for her and tossed it over, "Hope this is up to Hastings standard" he joked as he walked over to his phone and opened up the app. "What are you thinking? Two classic breakfast meals?" he asked as he opened the drawers again and pulled out some sweat pants and put them on. Daniel sat up on the dorm drawers and scrolled through the menu to pick something, "So, game plan, you want to forget that this happened ... again. Might I add" he said while he continued to look down at his phone. He didn't know how to look at her right now. It wasn't embarrassment, he liked having sex, he liked one night stands, he had seen plenty of people in college. He just never thought of Milly as an option. She was just ... Milly.

Milly looked at the shirt and shook her head, "Even uglier. God, is this what the Altman standard is like? Alice would not approve." she tossed the shirt back and sat on the bed. Of course Milly was fine with the shirt, she just liked messing with him. She nodded her head in response to the breakfast. "Do we really have to specify that this is the second time?" she asked with narrowed eyes. "Besides, is there really any other kind of game plan? Talk about our feelings? We don't exactly remember what happened, or at least I don't." she shrugged her shoulders. "It's not that serious anyways. It didn't mean anything."

"... I think we should specify that this is the second time" said Daniel after taking a pause. He just didn't really know how to go about this. It hadn't been anything that crossed his mind, other than the time that this happened before. Things were different now, they relied on each other in new ways. She was the only steady thing in his life other than Charlie and Alice, and they were always doing their own thing. He had picked to follow her to school, when he pictured his future ... she was there. He just didn't think about it like that. "I mean I don't remember it either. I thought you were some rando when I woke up" said Daniel, letting it slip that he had woken up first. He really hadn't noticed that it was her. Then she said it didn't mean anything, but it was Milly. Things like this meant something to her, "I mean it probably meant something if we were willing to fuck everything up to do it. We pass out together all the time, why was last night different?"

Milly furrowed her brows at Daniel when he mentioned that he thought she was some random person when he woke up. She would have questioned him about waking up first, but this was normal for Daniel. Waking up with someone else in bed, hooking up with different people. This wasn't special for him, she wasn't special to him. "We probably got extra drunk, I don't know." she tried to come up with some excuse. Milly stayed quiet for a second, thinking about whether Daniel wanted it to mean something or not. Definitely not. She couldn't let her mind stray too far. "What would it have meant?"

That was what was so confusing about all of this, "We get extra drunk at least once a month for the last 6 years" said Daniel after he entered the order and put his phone down. It must have meant something, it must have been a sloppy kiss and then a nervous conversation about what this meant and them both saying fuck it and going for it. He wanted to know who initiated it, that would mean everything. "I don't know, I feel like we would have talked about it ... like before or during. It's not like we were silent all night, had sex, and then went to sleep" said the boy, walking over to the bed and putting on the shirt she had put to the side. He usually was just shirtless whenever, but he felt like he needed to be even more clothed for this. It was Milly.

"You never know, that could very likely be the case." Milly was just being stubborn at this point, she didn't want to talk about this. She was scared the longer they talked about it, the more hurt she would end up getting. "I just don't see the point in talking about it. It happened this one time, but it won't happen again. You do this all the time, I'm no different than any other person you've hooked up with." Milly sort of regretted the last comment she made. She didn't want to hear him agree to that, but she didn't want to hear him deny it either. He would only deny it because he felt bad for Milly.

He was surprised that he was hurt at her claim that it would never happen again, had she never thought about it? He may of never really thought about her like that, but I mean ... there were some intrusive thoughts in there from time to time when he was drunk. Or that time she looked really pretty at prom. Maybe he had thought about it, he was doubting himself. He knew he had never been interested in her, just a stray sexual thought from time to time. "Don't say that, Milly" said Daniel, feeling like he was on the defensive. "You're really special to me and you know I don't like it when you talk about yourself like that" he added, quietly. Almost grumbling, but definitely audible.

Milly groaned as Daniel began to speak, she did not need this pity pep talk. "No no no, I don't need this talk from you. Please." she shook her head. "I get that this doesn't mean anything to you, we don't have to pretend like there's some underlying meaning to all of this." Milly knew herself, if she was willing to sleep with someone, there was a reason for it. There was a reason why she kept Daniel in her life all these years. On paper, he should be someone that she would absolutely despise, but she didn't hate him. Not at all. She never got tired of him. He was such a bright light in her life and she appreciated him for everything he did.

"But that's not how you work" said Daniel, "The reason I have meaningless sex all the time is because that's what the other person wants or says they want" he argued. Milly cared about people that she slept with, she only slept with boyfriends. He had never heard of her ever having a one night stand. "And you're not like that. I'm not saying it has to mean anything, but I'm not pretending. I know you, I don't know the people that I do that with. It's different for me". He didn't want to argue about this, but she was so fucking stubborn sometimes. It was so frustrating that she just kept putting it down like it was nothing, but it was out of the ordinary for them. Why last night? Why this drunk bender? There were so many questions.

Milly wasn't sure what to tell Daniel, she didn't understand why he was so insistent on making this mean something more. "Ok, this might not be how I work, but that doesn't automatically mean that there's a reason as to why we did it. I had one off night, who cares?" she shrugged her shoulders. "I don't want us to be weird because of this, Daniel. I don't want things to change." she told him truthfully. "We just go back to being... us. I like us the way we are, things don't need to change." she said, trying to convince herself that nothing would be different for them. Milly didn't want Daniel to act weird around her because they had sex. She was scared he'd want to keep his distance from her.