#danglingmodifiers

By: The Lady Ms. Vagina Jenkins, Oakland CA

Inspired by Annah's song "Metal"

Misplaced and dangling modifiers are a common occurrence in any type of writing. These mistakes may seem minor, but they have the potential to change the entire meaning of your sentence.

For us, dangling modifiers usually occur during the "features" section of our copy blocks. For example:

"Featuring short sleeves, pink stripes and an all-over kitty print, she'll look sweet and feel comfy in this girls' sleep shirt."

Grammatically, this sentence implies that "she", the consumer, features short sleeves, pink stripes, and an all-over kitty print. This is because the writer did not specify what he/she was referring to with "featuring", and the placement of "she" after the comma implies that everything leading up to it refers to "her".

Obviously, this is not what we're trying to convey!

To fix the above block, we need to place the correct noun (the sleep shirt) in the proper spot:

"Featuring short sleeves, pink stripes and an all-over kitty print, this girls' sleep shirt will make her look sweet and feel and comfy."

Now, the sentence clearly specifies that the sleep shirt -- not the consumer -- is the one featuring the all-over kitty print.

For a brush-up on how to avoid these gaffes and create crisp, clear sentences, check out this link from the University of Ottawa. It has examples and tips on how to dodge misplaced words, phrases and clauses, as well as split infinitives and squinting and dangling modifiers.